Light of thine
Shining pon this heart of mine
Guiding me till I'm refined,
Showing me the signs
That I draw nearer to the Divine,
Purge the pain from my poisonous vines.

He made fun of my beliefs,
What I held closest.
He said "I love you,
But not for what you deem dearest."
So what did he mean when he said to me:
"I love you for who you are"?

He called me boring,
But didn't listen to my answers
When I listened to his questions,
So what did he mean when he said to me:
"We have nothing to talk about, maybe if you were more interesting..."?

I let him degrade me, just a little.
But I also let him show me love.
He called me pretty, beautiful.
He kissed my hands, my neck,
In the seductive way that he does.

He was worried for me,
And asked to speak when we were apart.
So what did he mean when he said to me:
"I would worry if your future husband would be breaking your heart"?

He got me flowers,
And a note on love.
He took me to the next city,
Took me up a mountain,
Carried me over a river,
Made me dinner,
He made me feel like his love was enough,
And yet at the same time,
He did not.

The colours of the night have gotten deeper,
I see the addicts in the dark.
The stars have grown distant and faint,
It gets colder when we're apart.
Have I let go of something good?
The sun was shining when you were here;
The laughter was stronger,
The days were warmer,
And of course there was joy in the air.
The charming thing about pleasure is
That they will come to an end but
I thought, "we'll cross that bridge
When we get there."

The old fog and the new light
Meet and unite,
I am there in the dawn.

Only now do I truly contemplate
The questions brought up in time;
What do I do with what was built
Among the people I know?
What is it I see beyond sight,
Beyond the horizon?
Why do I see an opening?
A different life -
When it is here I gave birth to the sun?

I understand,
I am consciously learning.
I heard familiar words uttered when
The leaves of autumn fell and
I said:
"I am starting to tell
The difference between the cries
Of heaven and hell."

The breeze was still,
And yet I huddled into your arms
Begging for your warm embrace,
Begging for your hold.

I spilled myself onto you,
I melted.
The slime, blood, and sweetness mixed in
With my juices.

But you held and listened to my tears flow as I
Gushed all over your hands and onto the very floor.
And on the night where the curtain between Heaven and Earth grew thin,
You respond with a voice I've grown to know,
A voice of love,
From without and within.

Though I hear it from my depths,
I know it comes from above.
And though I long for a simple death,
Instead you teach me how to ward these thoughts off.
And you remind me with your sweetest voice,
That although seemingly tough,
I need to believe in the different methods of love.

They ooze out of my pours like sweat,
Beads rolling down my neck.
The sun is blinding, her heat burns.
Have you forgotten me?
Rendered as ash into an urn...

Oh friend of flesh, bone and blood,
Have you forgotten the times we've had
Playing over gravel, into grime and mud?
Oh flesh of my bone,
Oh garment of mine,
Why would you limit me like this?
Your cold winds push me back,
Its intensity stops me in my track.
Why?
Are you afraid?
Whatever it is, it has nothing to do with me.
Truly.
Yet you make me pay the price.
Is this the value of my life?
And when I am abandoned
By friends of blood and soul,
They leave me with no other, but you,
The only friend of Spirit,
Or so I am told.

Are the winds capable of carrying my voice?
How will I feel your presence?
How can you fill a human void?
You are far greater,
And my limits come short.
It is a puzzle piece,
and while you are the table on which I rest,
You are not of the missing sort.

Is it deception? A heinous act!
Perhaps my capacity is far larger
Than the perceived aspects of the things I lack.
And as I study the human mind,
I am reminded of all the people and things I need.
And I've concluded: all I need is people.
So how would God wish that I proceed?

Up the hill I go, through
Shrouds of obscure sorrows and transient joys.
Cold sweats,
Cold sweats,
Shed from me old skin and I pass
Old threats.
Is it a hill?
For I assumed an unobservable peak in expectation.

Is it deception? A heinous act!
Something I've told myself?
But if there's only up
For as long as I'm alive,
How can there be eternal ease
Under everchanging skies?

You love me in this
Throne of skin and bone, glittering
and new, dripping with the honeydew
Of golden jewels.
These supple curves are an adornment,
Soft, and it bounces with the slightest touch!
It groans, and rumbles, shaking in its folds,
Ripe in its prime.
The moment is now, this is the time!

The blood pumps under plumped flesh with vigor.
My taste is of the pleasures of sweet wine and I
Grimace at the thought of vinegar.
Entertain me with your touch, squeeze, and caress.
My fruit craves to be exposed and undressed
For it is not too late.
Time will take its tole, age will make it old,
In a predictable fate.
I am immortal in this moment, capture me in this state!
Untamed and feral, under the influence of youth,
Too drunk to see the truth.