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How could I get hopes up high?
Heart was far too heavy to fly
And body lacks a pair of wings
Tried to come despite these things
Why did I not expect the worst?
Can't imagine being put first
I cannot imagine how it feels to be needed
Can't imagine not being poorly treated
Losing is a task at which I excel
Don't let me go through more hell
Don't allow me to fall further than I am
Won't ever again about me give a ****
It hits me with sadness to see you don't care
So wistful because I have nobody there
To know other thoughts take up your mind
Disheartening and I can't help but wonder if you're blind
I cannot hug you because you are physically too far
Can only sigh and wish upon a star
Distance our enemy keeping us from peace
Every day forced to spend alone makes interest decrease
Written 2-26-21
Is this how love is smothered?
I am misunderstood
We go at war with each other
Will we lose fight for good?
Again hear bombs exploding
And again smoke fills air
Emotions been eroding
Battle isn't fair
How many times have surrendered
Slipping away from the past
Pulling from the image rendered
Drifting from touch too fast
Everyone moving forward
Can't find strength to lift my feet
Where I am stay not speaking a word
We make-up
Incomplete
Never afraid to say how you feel
You don't like it reinvent
Feelings are not meant to be sealed
Here if you need to vent
Energy gathered great and wide
Horizon bright where we stand
The new storm starts brewing inside
Working it's way through the land
Deep colors found above in the vast sky
Shades compressed into one
Emanating a beam from up high
Outlines traced with sun
Life came warming bodies slow
Electricity poured through our veins
Muscles rested to properly grow
Took eons just for force to regain
And heart discovered independence
Still yearned for what we had before
Longing I felt restless and tense
You didn't need me anymore
Written 2-26-21
VERSE ONE:
You know me truer than I know myself
Lately I've been turning into someone else
Thoughts I place upon a shelf
Hidden cause I won't ask for help
An honest woman most the time
Except when saying I am fine
I ask the universe why I'm alive
Born to live
Live to die
A fool
Will not try to deny
Already accepted I won't make it in life
Every moment you break me it hurts a little more
Worth it feeling butterflies in my core
Were once best friends but not anymore
After the pain I guess you got bored
Would bring flowers to your front door
It wouldn't make you feel the way you did before

HOOK:
To make something happen we had a chance
Just have to remember that homecoming dance
Believe it is special
Love we share
Can you sincerely say that deep down you don't still care?

VERSE TWO:
This worse than I ever feared
Fall of everything once held dear
This where the face that used to be near
Becomes distant memory
And unclear
Built by us when we first arrived here
The smiles
Secrets
And tears
As they tug heartstrings
Feelings flooding back
Standing on piles of perseverance I lack
Through mess it's difficult to make out what's real
Can't tell if infatuation or animosity I feel
Pinned against walls that close in and seal
Inside our souls so we don't heal
Meet shadows as we bend and kneel
Wonder from the floor why the world is so surreal
Your noose hanging from a beam of steel
Your death is a choice fate may steal

(HOOK)
Title is the name of the instrumental I looked up on YouTube to write this to
Shaking hand holds pen
"It is just cold" one more lie
Afraid to face truth
The only person I lie to usually is myself
Will heart be in love?
Next time you meet somebody
Just never know when
The next person you are introduced to could be 'the one'
Words free to corrall
Untamed, wild beasts may bite
Loose from mouth unleashed
Words are powerful beasts
Difficult ditches
Beautiful angles emerge
Viewing stars better
At least when you are in the gutter you have a better view of the sky
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