I fetched my coat
And walked to the boat
By the dock,
Trying to escape on a whim,
Then realized I didn't know
how to swim.

I decided to paddle
through calm  waters,
To adventure like any other,
Trying to embrace the unknown
then realized in waters deep
My courage overthrown.

I kept pressing on
Through the unclear horizon,
Trying to anchor my fears
and to catch up with time,
I then realized I had drifted for years.

Adrift in a sea of uncertainty,
With waves of doubts crashing against me
I tried to navigate the doldrums
I then realized the harsh reality,
With No refuge found, my spirit succumbs.

Alas, I will keep Rolling the dice
Hoping luck will suffice,
Until the weather is nice again.

halfway along a mired path
with no option but
to gingerly retrace
their mud-caked steps
or simply struggle onwards
careful of each squelch
along that mud-caked path
the dog sits blithely at heel
appearing miserable
in this drizzling rain
but patient for his reward
and willing to wait
following unconditionally
while the man considers
his options and
the next poor decision
he is liable to make

So I will write
A love letter to the flower
That withers not.
Or send a rose to the love
That dies not.
Beauty lying in perpetuity.
My tender passions fulfilled
For everlasting.
Desire turned inside out,
Heaven still lewd.
I will hold on,
I will still love
When all melody stops.
When the drought ends.
In the coldness of hell.
You are the flower
That will still blossom.

the flowers that bloom
at the site of this burial
are not a marker
nor memory of
what lies beneath;
they are the reminder
that there will always
be this burst of
colour and beauty
to be cherished
in spite of
what those roots
have grown through

If there’s one thing for sure abt myself. ,
I’m going to survive  ,
I will figure it out

You sit in your chair, calm and collected.
Betraying no emotion or nerves
You're a rock of composure
But i see the tell tale trembling in your hands
You clutch the threads of your worn pants in a vice grip
Trying to hold back the creeping tide of tremors
You lock your knees together in desperation
Grit your teeth and clench your jaw
But more and more, the cracks spread through your body
And once again, the demons of anxiety run amok in your body
Slamming the chambers of your heart with their thorny fists,
Freezing your lungs with their icy breath
Crowding out all lucid thoughts with their incoherent babble
"Not again, not again, not again"
"please stop, please"
You cry in the shadowed recesses of the your own mind over and over
Hiding from hounding demons
But like always, the demons of anxiety do not heed words
The silent battle is once again lost
Your shame, cowardice and weak spine is laid bare to the eyes and judgment of the world
I know the feeling
I know you
I am you

Your face is lined;
your brows are white.
You’re facing down
your long twilight.
Your tummy has a little bulge--
I see marks of what you
used to indulge.
Your teeth aren’t white;
your hair is thin,
but I believe that you’ve won
the struggle within.
There are bags
underneath your eyes,
but that gaze now is
so much more wise.
You don’t stir my blood--
the blood of youth--
but your words today
speak realms of  truth.
Love is left
when lust is gone,
and this love will last
‘til the world is done.

.. likes tearing people down
with loose talk and harsh words -
Empathy tossed aside
by the misuse of nouns and verbs.
.. a twisted view of society
just bound to be seen and heard -
Everyone, listen quietly
till every harsh word is slurred.
The Queen of the Night Life;
her brokenness - a crown.
Out-spokenness - a sword
that she just loves to swing around.
And me, I'm just a jester;
my struggle - a comedic scene,
but she’s justified by anger
only entitled to the royal queen