Tonight I wrote the note
The goodbye
The reasons and the apologies
The pain to paper
Paragraphs of regret
A bad wife, because I know deep down he doesn’t love me.
A bad mother because I believe I’m destroying their lives
A bad daughter because I cannot live up to her example.
A bad sister and friend because I never reach out.
Why stay here in a world where I have ruined so much?
Why bask in my own misery when I could be free?
Free of existence.
My soul feels cold beneath my skin.
Dig deeper until I find her,  a buried flame
A small flame, but she fights. And she burns.
My tears will put the fire out
But all it takes is spark. Something small just to keep her burning.

i was about to give up and stop
stop looking for someone and accept the fact
the fact that i would be alone for a while
a while without the warmth of another soul
another soul like yours igniting a spark
a spark in the deepest part of my heart

It is a rainy day
I walk
It washes away my fear,
I feel I am letting go.
It is a rainy day
I feel my worries
Wash away from my face,
My wrinkles are being erased.
It is a rainy day
I know
Healing takes time,
But time heals the deepest wounds.
It is a rainy day,
It is dark
But I feel a spark of light
In my heart.
It is a rainy day
And I know
How hard it has been to let go.
Now I heal
As the rain washes my wounds away.
I heal as the rain pours down on me.