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I died that day when I stayed alive,
It got hard to find what little light I had inside,
But I'd die again, a million times and many more, I'd give up every pounds of flesh so that you'd arise and take your first and final breath.
I scream your name even though I never knew it, I see your face in every dream, and give up every one one for you.
I'm not alone but I feel it and for that I hate myself.
Every wall has a door but each one is locked, it's getting hard to breathe but I'm not even sure that I want to.
I smash one down, through fear or anger or desperation, I don't know,
But there's just a wall and behind that another, on and on, no roaring light to greet me, just the darkness of infinity.
I hold steady on a floor that won't stop moving, I had my momentum stolen by love I never heard,
This veil is stuck to me like my own crown of thorns, so deeply rooted that my brain bleeds with every step, every breath and word.
I still smell you as you flowed away and joined the river, lightly, little angels wings departed, but here, forever, I'm with you.
I'd stop thinking, living or drawing breath, I'd throw myself to the lions to pull the splinter from your paw. I will never stop loving you. I will never stop needing you.
Fenix Flight Jun 2017
Little Carole Jean
You were born to early
Only 20 weeks and 4 days into my pregnancy
Born without a heartbeat

I held you in my arms
So tiny so fragile
8.6oz and only 21 inches long
But so beautiful and pure

You had your daddy's long legs
And my annoying chin
Nine Perfect Baby fingers
And Your tiny feet so cute

I'm so sorry babygirl
That mommy couldn't protect you
I failed you little one
Please can you forgive me.

I see how Daddy cries for you
His eyes show how much he misses you
You were his world, his little princess

I miss you so much
I miss you growing inside me
Watching your daddy wrap his arms around my tummy
And say he is on protection duty

I wish I could have watched you grow up
I can picture you in my mind
Dark unruly red hair
And bright blue eyes like daddy

Your dad would have had to chase all the boys away

I wish I could wake up from this nightmare
And erase this whole last week
Look down and see my bellies small bump
Can I go back to when things were good?

Rest Easy Carole Jean
Be safe up there ok?
You have a whole lot of people to meet you there
And a whole lot of people still yet to come

I will see you again one day
Until then please be good.
I cant wait to hold you again
And I know Daddy can't either.

We will be a family again one day
Until then you are always in my heart.
I will NEVER forget you
I dont think I ever could

I love you daughter
And forever always will
You are with me for eternity

My little baby Carole Jean
My daughter Carole Jean was born 5/26/17. Weighting 8.6oz and only 21cm long. Born still but never the less Still born. I love you babygirl and Mommy always will
ARI Jun 2016
B
All she wanted
In her life
was a little baby
To hold at night.

Boy or girl
To complete
her crazy
world.

But all she ever got
Was a doctor
Shaking his head
Saying:

Sorry ma'am but
The baby is gone
Sorry ma'am
Just stay strong

You'll be alright
You'll be okay
Just close your eyes
and try another day.

But she didn't want
to try again.
For every night
She'd close her eyes

Counting her babies graves
and all the names
She'd never say
And she'd just pray

'Oh Lord,
not one, not two,
not three, but four,
when will death
come to my door
For I cant do this again."

All this pain
All this aching
In my heart and
Bleeding in my brain.

For now
She'll say goodbye
Yet again
For that's what they expect.

All she wanted
In her life
was a little baby
To hold at night.

Boy or girl
To complete
her crazy
world.

But all she ever got
Was a doctor
Shaking his head
Saying:

Sorry ma'am but
The baby is gone
Sorry ma'am
Just stay strong

You'll be alright
You'll be okay
Hold yourself
Just hold on tight

You can try
Again some other time
But little did he know
time wasn't on her side .

-ARI
For all the hearts ripped away,
The moment their baby's sweet heart
Stopped.

— The End —