hmmm hm hmmm
you've left again,
and truth be told it's best
so don't tell me that you love me still
that you just need to get some things in your head straight
hmm hm hmm
because you had your head on the entire time
you just wanted to rest it for a while
and I was your soft pillow
a punching bag if you must
you flipped me around when I was too hot
you seem to always like me better when I'm cool
my silence will always be reassuring
the heat will make you nervous.
hmm hm hmm
I cope by talking
so let me talk to people that are like you
my ex
exes.
girls that have wanted me from the beginning, am I really
that charming?
I have three, four if you're counting the girl i sent nudes to last night
i'm disgusting
I should have kissed her in that bathroom, you know.
i should have took advantage of the situation
I don't like that you're the last person my lips tasted
hmm hm hmmm
running my fingers across the keyboard
they dance in a rhythm only I can figure out
I've got plans, a future, and a pack of cigarettes waiting for me at home
I should have listened when people said to stay away from you
I'm mad because you let me believe you when you said
i love you
because i always meant it
i love you more, most, forever and always, that was the promise, the deal.
I was supposed to be loved by you and you alone.
and you for me.
maybe you left
hmm hm hmmm hm
because you have other people that you want.
but you'll never in your life find someone like me
but maybe that's good because
hell I know that i'm actually very toxic.
manipulative.
dramatic.
draining
i've heard it all before
i'm too sensitive.
these are truths
i'll fix it.
i'll get better.
and you will too
hmm hm hmmm
i shouldn't still be writing about you. i've been broken for a while
but it feels easier now.
i can just pretend that you don't exist, that's easier for me
that is how i have to cope now.
after Justin, i thought i wouldn't love
i should have focused on getting hurt again.
i know that it's possible now.
well sorta.
after him, i went numb.
hell. what am i ever talking about
i guess what i'm meaning to say is
we'll be a lot happier without each other
at least we were long distance.
you don't have to see me or hear me everyday.
I have you blocked on social media for that reason.
but i can't block your number
i like knowing that you'll come back eventually.
and if not knowing, then hoping
when you find out what you've ****** up don't be textin' my phone
i like you better when you leave me alone.
hmm mhm hm
we broke up again, but this time i think that it will actually last.
