Always Better


Who am I?
I've often wondered
While I lay in bed and hope for slumber
Persistent questions
Always pester
Who am I?
I must remember
I've lost myself
But am I better?
I've done so much
I've grown so old
In word and thought
In mind and soul
This world has changed me
Made me think
Use my mind
To stay on my feet
Never give up
But always remember
If life gets you down, things will always get better.

You're eyes are so beautiful
Like a window to the soul
I try to look in
But the walls are too high
Too many have hurt you
Too many have lied
I'll weather your storm
I'll master your seas
I'd do almost anything
To be in your dreams

I left you broken and crying
That day that I left
On the inside I'm dying
Because of all I regret
I didn't want to just leave you
I didn't want to just go
But when life is calling
You can't tell her no
You stood there and cried
While I drove away stoically
I'm sorry it ended
I'm sorry I left
Just know if I could take it all back
It wouldn't happen again.

As blue as the ocean
As clear as the night
I study their beauty
Like stars in the sky
There's something about them
Those gorgeous blue eyes
A window to the soul
A way to my heart
As peaceful as a stream
Flowing down a mountain gently
I could stare at them always
Those beautiful blue eyes.

Sleep.
Please let me sleep.
I shut my eyes.
I count the sheep.
But still I lay here.
And still I think.
Sleep.
1. 2. 3. 4. Sheep.
Keep on counting.
The thoughts are hounding.
It drives me crazy.
So I stay awake.

I want you
I want you like you wanted me
But the sad truth is
It will never be
Because you're with him
And I just can't compete

Just a kiss
I knew it was meant to be
Because the last time that we laughed, I could see it in your eyes
It was there
Just a glimpse
And I saw what those beautiful eyes could hide
Something deep
Something pure
Something that goes beyond the mortal soul
You may not know it yet
But believe me, it's there
Hidden behind eyes, a shade of bright blue
It's something inside
Something that shines
It's what makes the cold, rainy days fade away too
It's called love
And I'm feeling it for you

Dreams.
We all have them.
Yet for some reason some of us hold back
Like we don't have the motivation
Lacking the drive to push ourselves
It's a plague and it's affected our whole nation
It's something that needs to be fixed
Our hearts need healing
And our souls need freeing
It's only a matter of time
So I'll plead with you now
Never hold yourself back
Never tell yourself that you're nothing
Because I guarantee
That you are something to someone
You mean more than you think
Don't give up on your dreams
Because your dream could be the most important of all
It could save you
It could save the world
You never know.
Dreams are important
They should be treated like gold.

I want to drift away
To a place unknown
A place far from here
A place far from home

I take flight again
High up in the sky
I am
Escaping my own demons

A fallen soldier
All in the name of freedom
The ultimate price
Gone, but never forgotten
Dry your teary eyes
Let the memory live on
Forever in time
Carried in our hearts and souls
A heroic death

Late nights with friends
Drinking, smoking, and hoping for no end
It's the times like this
Video games, beer pong, and hoping you don't miss
The days and nights
Road trips, laughter, and conversation
Making memories
Be it friends, family, or strangers
Embrace life to the fullest
Make the most of it
And follow your bliss.

You've captured my attention
I'm slowly getting lost
Let's make our own adventure
Sit alone and share our thoughts
Enjoying all the laughter
And the chance to see you smile

Take me away from this place
To a beach somewhere far from here
Take me away from this place
To a place with my favorite beer
It's a place I can go
To escape and be free
It's a place I can go
To relax and just be me
This place is my mind
It's my one true solace
This place is my mind
Sans hate and malice

I think I'll run away soon.

Take another puff
Float up to the sky
All I need is another hit
Just one more
And I'll be high
High above the worry
High above the pain
Floating comfortably in peace
Feeling nothing but at ease
This pleasant feeling
I must be dreaming
Not a worry on my mind
Only laughter and red eyes
Maybe I'll be creative?
Write a poem or two
Maybe I'll be lazy
Eat some cereal, then some pie
What is this feeling
I haven't felt in quite some time
I feel it bubbling from inside
Is it hunger?
Is it hate?
It's something different
Not from what I ate
I know this feeling
I've figured it out
No more stress
No more worry
No more anxiety
Yes I know this feeling
I'm feeling happy

Wow, I **** at this
How do I write a haiku?
Oh... Well look at that

I miss your warm embrace
I miss that look on your face
I miss the scent of your skin
I miss the way we'd sin.
But most importantly
I miss the way we used to be.

Where am I going?
Is it somewhere I've been?
Will I know when I get there?
Or am I at the end?

Your smell lingers on my sheets and in my dreams
And it's killing me
I crave your touch, laugh, and smile
And the way we would shut up and kiss for a while
It's killing me
To know that things could have been different
If I never had to leave you that August morning
And it killed me
To just drive away, leave it all behind
With tears in my eyes I stayed stoic

Life is a labyrinth
And we are all wandering
Searching for ourselves

If today was your last day, would you still do what you were going to do?
Would you do something you've dreamed?
Or would you stand inside and scream?
If today was your last day, would you still say what you were going to say?
Would you tell your boss how you feel?
Or would you just sit there and deal?
If today was your last day, would you still live the way you live?
Would you take a deep breath and make a change?
Or would you rather stay sad and the same?
Ask yourself these questions
What would your answers be?
In the end it is our decision
To decide if we are happy.

My lazy Sunday
I spent it all in my bed
It was well worth it

I'm looking for a map
One that can show me the way
To a place I've never been, but always wanted to go
Because I'm having trouble on my own
Seems like I've been lost for ages
Walking the same worn path, asking myself questions
What is my purpose?
Why am I here?
Is there a reason why my life has to be this way?
All of the questions
But nobody has the answers

It lifts me up
It eases the pain
It makes everything fun
I can eat again
I just can't understand
It's just a plant
How can it be so
That something can cause such joy
But still breed such hate
The war is a waste
We'll show you the truth
It's not what they say
It's not how it looks
It's about how it feels
And about how it helps
How hard is it to see
That there is nothing wrong with ****.

I have nothing left
Nothing but the memories
They will have to do

I want to spend more time with you.
Doesn't matter how.
I could spend it all with you.
Doesn't matter where
I could spend it anywhere.
I want to spend more time with you.

It's strange
How much an object can take you away
From the stress and the pain
When I put that board down
It's like everything fades away
All that is left is the wind in my face
And the feeling in my chest
Like a weight has been lifted
A veil pulled from my eyes
On my board I feel confident
Like I'm on top of the world
It's a liberating feeling and it never grows old

Night after night
I stare blankly at the screen
Night after night
Maybe it's all just a dream?
Night after night
Coming apart at the seams
Night after night
Don't know what to believe
Night after night
I've been hunting down dreams
Night after night
I've been thinking of things
Night after night
I still cannot sleep.

I begin this journey
Your hand in mine
Not a fear
Not a care
It's just you and me
Together
Discovering life
Living our dreams
Not a fear
Not a care
Only love

Pain is inevitable
It cannot be avoided
It can only be eased
Some drink it away
Others may smoke
We all handle pain differently
Who am I to judge?

I was standing there
Gazing into your blue eyes
When I first realized

It's pressing on my chest
Like a weight that can't be lifted
I hate the way it feels
As if the world is tilted
I climb and climb
But fall back down
To my place
Here on the ground
I've lost my wings
I've lost my hope
I need a reason to climb back up

Late nights
Sitting behind brightly lit screens
Always searching
Never finding the answers
You would try to sleep
But the thoughts wouldn't cease
What is your purpose?
Why are you here?
There are so many questions
So you search and you search
Never looking within
Always looking around

It's crazy to think that I could be so unhappy
While surrounded by friends who love
And family who will always be there for me.
So why do I spend nights wide awake?
Contemplating the time and the place
That I would stage my escape
Is there something wrong with me?
Perhaps I seek a greater meaning?
After all, there has go to be more to see
Life can't be such a meaningless thing
When there is so much to be enjoyed
Yet I find that the darkness is lingering
Always bringing me down
I'm beginning to grow tired
I feel my body has grown weak
What if I just threw in the towel?
Threw it on the ground and said **** it all?
I can be my own person
I can making my own meaning
I am the creator of my destiny
The master chef of my life recipe
But still the question will remain
On the darkest of days
Am I happy?
Or am I insane?

Do you see?
There is more to this
I know there is
How can I see?
I have not found out
But I will