I’ve been thinking about
death again
my oldest friend
and it almost feels serene
to think about it’s certainty.
Sometimes, I still feel like her
all chaos and fear
heart as my mind
What if I’m not getting any better?
Trying to hold it together,
I hold on too tight
and constrict all
that keeps me upright.
Existing on borrowed time,
scribbled arrows over my veins
to try and find
a safe place on the inside
Because I can’t remember the last time
I felt safe on the outside.