I find myself hiding
under my bed sheets,
every corner of my room haunts me.
The alcohol on my breath worries my mother.
The aroma of your cologne
remains impregnated on the sweater
I wore the last time I saw you .
I hate you even though I miss you through my teeth
and even though this feeling consumes me,
I would not choose you again.
I hate the way I left but what I hate even more
is the fact that you were gone way before me.
My favorite part after a long and exhausting day
was to walk by that one street corner,
that **** corner where you first told me you loved me,
Now simply viewing it from afar hurts, burns.
I expressed out the fear that loving you caused me,
due the damage I had already lived through
and even so you continued to do me the same damage
I drown seeking answers for the endless doubts that you left me.
I drown in wine because it somehow brings me back to our first kiss.
Did you ever thought of me? Or did your narcissism get the better of you once again?