I rest on this hill with my mind in a swirl
but my body stayed perfectly still
I picture your face and I picture your eyes
and I tell you they shine just like diamonds

I remain on the edge, the exterior of life
peering inward to assure my survival
I surmise that your voice with it's deep undertones
brings a reflex of craving a kind of collision

I try, yeah, I try to erase from my mind
all these pieces of you, you're smiling
but me, I'm not no I wish I could stop
cause these tears yeah they feel just like crying
you would not understand that this pain I am in
It's not here, yet I still feel like dying

I dig myself into the roots of everything
It's dark down here, but I still sing
about a time where maybe someday
I will be dauntless, daring with a smile of joy
I can't really decide if it's hate that's defined me
or a deep rooted longing
I wish I had known when we'd met
how I'd grow to count on you
for all the bits of my happiness
as for now, lying face down on my hill
I've come to affiliate you with sadness

It's 6 oclock, I didn't sleep today
viewing the sunrise, I've never felt this way
and I unscrew my cancer, cause I think I need it
It never gets better, so I continue to feed it

I try, yeah, I try to erase from my mind
all theses pieces of you, you're smiling
you don't know what it's lie
to wake up filled up with woe
cause you hate every inch of your body
this instant in time, feeling fatally ill
I'll never be good enough, but I'm trying

metal on skin
bottle to lips
liquid to tongue
finger to throat
aspirin to stomach
crying
smiling
This pain is not here, this pain, it's not here
Yet I still feel, yeah I still feel like dying