Jun 2012
I’m so tired of waiting for something to happen in my life
I’m aware of every known amazement to man
Every mountain
Every ocean
Every valley
They all have a name
But I've renamed them
They all have a new name
Indifference
I am aware of all my limitations
Both mental and physical
I’ve had this feeling before
Where I’m bursting through my skin
And all feeling is directed towards meaning
And I hate that I don’t know the answer
I hate that I have limitations
I cannot begin to learn every language
It seems someone must know something
Beyond borders
Beyond religion
Beyond culture
Beyond imagination
It has a name
Consciousness
The other day a man spoke to me
He knew everything
He saw in me his audience
And he smiled as he spoke
Quickly
Fact after learned fact
The more I listened the more excited he became
He said my strengths were his weaknesses
And his strengths were my weaknesses
I wasn’t an eye rolling wife
Or a bored student
I wanted to know what he knew
And he told me that I knew already
Even though it was new to me
Not life
But how he described it
He said wait for it
It is coming
It has a name
Hope
I saw a picture of a girl the other day
They were showing off her flat tummy
Every girl I know secretly wants to eat like a man
And they suffer for it
But there it was again
A flat tummy
And it was more important than what that man told me
That man is stuck between dirt roads and death
He will never be your neighbor
But her flat tummy will be
It will be next to you everywhere you go
Because that flat tummy is what this world is about
And she has nothing to say
She doesn’t have to
All she has to do is stand there
And men will want her
And women will hate her
It has a name
Superficiality
I love that girl with a flat tummy
Why does she have so much power?
Yet I don’t want her to speak because then she will lose her power
It seems I need her in my life
I am drawn to her beauty
It is the only thing that I never tire of
Why?
It has a name
Lust
I know there is an answer
But is it THE answer?
It’s an old book
But that book has its enemies
The book collects dust then is brushed off
It seems it is needed and then discarded
But the words never change
People memorize the words
People hate the words
People believe the words
It describes a world that is only known by wall paintings and fragments
A manuscript is not a picture
There isn’t anyone we can talk to
It requires we believe in the suspension of the laws of physics
It requires we believe something that our mind says can’t be true
Yet what we are left with are other things that can’t be true
What is truth when truth is something no man can create?
It has a word
Faith
The good thing about having children is you see the cycle
You see the desire for things that you eventually discard
You see how they begin even as you end
And you know where it will end
Yet they want it so badly
And you ask why?
Why must they indulge themselves and learn from their mistakes?
Why can’t they just believe in me?
But I see myself in them and remember when I loved each day for what it would bring
Yet what it brought had been written in every book
And experienced by every man
But I couldn’t get to the end fast enough
And now the end is here
Not of life but of experience
Because now it is a matter of living with the knowledge that this is it
But this knowledge is not enough to propel me back to my place of birth
Where my mother suffered to allow me to know these things
It has a name
Ritual
What is the next step?
Every moment is designed to create a box for my children to begin
They are in the box and I stand watching it
I know they will someday emerge but they must live in the box
Everything they touch and see will describe the box
From the inside
But they don’t know it’s a box
One day they will learn of the box and realize it was their limitations
There is no size or distance between walls to describe
Each box is different
It only depends on one thing
Curiosity
And when boredom outweighs curiosity then they will emerge
Because they will see how nothing they know provides the answer
It has a name
Meaning
I hope they can join me
But for now I will remain silent in my ridicule of meaningless pursuits
I will let them do the things I did
But it is easier for me because they are not as reckless as I was
Today I drove through my past
I saw the homes of my old friends
I remember the things we did to fool our parents
It was easy to do what I wanted even though I knew the rules
Maybe our parents just believed in us
Like I believe in my children
It is the irony of knowing better
It is what you think but you really don’t know
We don’t know our children yet we think we know of life
It has a name
Delusion
I’m aware of every known amazement to man
Every mountain
Every ocean
Every valley
They all have a name
But I've renamed them
They all have a new name
Indifference
I am aware of all my limitations
Both mental and physical
I’ve had this feeling before
Where I’m bursting through my skin
And all feeling is directed towards meaning
And I hate that I don’t know the answer
I hate that I have limitations
I cannot begin to learn every language
It seems someone must know something
Beyond borders
Beyond religion
Beyond culture
Beyond imagination
It has a name
Consciousness
The other day a man spoke to me
He knew everything
He saw in me his audience
And he smiled as he spoke
Quickly
Fact after learned fact
The more I listened the more excited he became
He said my strengths were his weaknesses
And his strengths were my weaknesses
I wasn’t an eye rolling wife
Or a bored student
I wanted to know what he knew
And he told me that I knew already
Even though it was new to me
Not life
But how he described it
He said wait for it
It is coming
It has a name
Hope
I saw a picture of a girl the other day
They were showing off her flat tummy
Every girl I know secretly wants to eat like a man
And they suffer for it
But there it was again
A flat tummy
And it was more important than what that man told me
That man is stuck between dirt roads and death
He will never be your neighbor
But her flat tummy will be
It will be next to you everywhere you go
Because that flat tummy is what this world is about
And she has nothing to say
She doesn’t have to
All she has to do is stand there
And men will want her
And women will hate her
It has a name
Superficiality
I love that girl with a flat tummy
Why does she have so much power?
Yet I don’t want her to speak because then she will lose her power
It seems I need her in my life
I am drawn to her beauty
It is the only thing that I never tire of
Why?
It has a name
Lust
I know there is an answer
But is it THE answer?
It’s an old book
But that book has its enemies
The book collects dust then is brushed off
It seems it is needed and then discarded
But the words never change
People memorize the words
People hate the words
People believe the words
It describes a world that is only known by wall paintings and fragments
A manuscript is not a picture
There isn’t anyone we can talk to
It requires we believe in the suspension of the laws of physics
It requires we believe something that our mind says can’t be true
Yet what we are left with are other things that can’t be true
What is truth when truth is something no man can create?
It has a word
Faith
The good thing about having children is you see the cycle
You see the desire for things that you eventually discard
You see how they begin even as you end
And you know where it will end
Yet they want it so badly
And you ask why?
Why must they indulge themselves and learn from their mistakes?
Why can’t they just believe in me?
But I see myself in them and remember when I loved each day for what it would bring
Yet what it brought had been written in every book
And experienced by every man
But I couldn’t get to the end fast enough
And now the end is here
Not of life but of experience
Because now it is a matter of living with the knowledge that this is it
But this knowledge is not enough to propel me back to my place of birth
Where my mother suffered to allow me to know these things
It has a name
Ritual
What is the next step?
Every moment is designed to create a box for my children to begin
They are in the box and I stand watching it
I know they will someday emerge but they must live in the box
Everything they touch and see will describe the box
From the inside
But they don’t know it’s a box
One day they will learn of the box and realize it was their limitations
There is no size or distance between walls to describe
Each box is different
It only depends on one thing
Curiosity
And when boredom outweighs curiosity then they will emerge
Because they will see how nothing they know provides the answer
It has a name
Meaning
I hope they can join me
But for now I will remain silent in my ridicule of meaningless pursuits
I will let them do the things I did
But it is easier for me because they are not as reckless as I was
Today I drove through my past
I saw the homes of my old friends
I remember the things we did to fool our parents
It was easy to do what I wanted even though I knew the rules
Maybe our parents just believed in us
Like I believe in my children
It is the irony of knowing better
It is what you think but you really don’t know
We don’t know our children yet we think we know of life
It has a name
Delusion
