Dear Bigfoot,

Thank you for allowing me to live after I killed your son.

Thank you for showing me that my way is right and everyone else is evil and must be saved.

Thank you for making me hate anyone who is different from me, but I'll still tell everyone else to love thy neighbor.

Thank you for terrifying me into loving you. For shoving your ideas down my throat and telling me I'll burn if I think for myself.

Thank you, Bigfoot, for being the horrible monster that we all love and adore so much because we're afraid not to.

Thank you, for being a *******.

Thank you for modeling us after your image so we could be hideous and evil.

Thank you for creating misery and death.

Amen