i have rewritten
every poem i have about you
at least six times
i have thrown out at least 9 letters
for every one letter you receive;
i have so perfectly hid my feelings for you
that i don't even think you know me anymore
because every time we talk all i think about
is how you would feel, so this is the
honest-to-God truth:
when i bring up the topic of the girl you used to love,
as evil as it may seem, i do it on purpose
because i want to know if you still idealize her like you used to
when i share with you my poems, know
that it is probably about you but that i will mask it
by saying it is in the point of view from a fictional character
when you call me beautiful, please know that i hate it
i hate it, i hate it, i hate it
because i know you are saying it to say it,
not because you mean it
when you apologize for your feelings
i want to bash your head in a wall
because i do not want an apology
i want the truth
and last but certainly not least
when i tell you that i love you,
it takes everything i have not to
add the "in"

(h.l.)