can you feel me slowly dying
as your hand lies out of reach
my heart wilts, slowly melting
hands numb and barely shaking
i long to stare
into your oceanic eyes
but all i see
are the white walls of my confines

i wish i could tell you i'm sorry
but i have no real excuse
i simply play with hearts
for the taking
but i feel so much remorse

could you hear my chest screaming
or did you think it was mere laughter
you look inside my demon eyes
but can't see the love they hold for you
only the carelessness and selfishness
that you ascribe to me

please let me say i'm sorry
please know it was a mistake
please understand it's only you that i want
please let me hold your hand

enter a white room
white victorian furniture lines the white walls
white frames holding white art
hang beneath a white chandelier
while the gleaming white floor
reflects white light
back onto the white walls and ceiling

i stand alone
in the center of this white room
my pale limbs are the only pinch of color
streaming from beneath my white nightgown

it's funny
you never seem to notice your breath
until its unsteady pace
becomes your only companion
(as it was mine in that lonely room)

as white blends into white
my heart pounds vigorously within my chest
and i feel the walls begin to close in around me

a tortured pain arises
as i attempt a scream
yet nothing emerges
but white noise from my lips

i charge towards a towering white wall
but the closer i get
the further back it retreats
so far, in fact
that i can no longer make out
the white sailboat on the white lake
from the white picture inside the white frame
hanging evenly on the white wall

as i now exist
(a pigmented dot in a white universe)
i am lost and alone and anxious

the walls have long since gone
taking with them the white furniture
and any hope of return
to my colorful past

so here i sit
writing on white paper with a white pen
a poem in white ink
(dare anyone tries to decipher it)
about a white room in a white world
that has trapped this pigmented girl
in its cold, white grasp

(but other than that,
death isn't too bad)

the glimmering water
caught my reflection
as i sat by the silent fountain
distraught by the knowledge
that the boy that i loved
sat half a hundred miles away

to my surprise
that mysterious boy
(the one with the pale blue eyes)
emerged from the sunlight
a rusted copper penny in his hand

enclosing the penny in my palm
those oceans in his eyes
met mine for a second
as if to urge me
to make my wish

my mind went numb
my hands quivered slightly
my heart pounded in my breast
as i forgot my wish entirely
lost in those oceanic eyes

so i merely flicked the empty penny
into the mirrored fountain
and saved my wish for another day
as it shimmered beneath the surface
with what i thought held no wish

one week passed as here i sit
side by side with the mysterious boy
(the one with the pale blue eyes)
my heart no longer flutters
for the boy half a hundred miles away
but for the one who's shoulder
caresses mine

it's odd how wishes work

don't kiss me in the rain
the cool drops of water
remind me of the tears i shed
when i thought you'd never return
so please, don't kiss me in the rain

don't kiss me in the sunlight
it's shimmering rays
remind me of the light you radiated
when you spoke the words
'i love you'
and i was too scared to mutter them back
so please, don't kiss me in the sunlight

don't kiss me in the shadows
the crawling darkness
reminds me of the dark hands strangling me
when i tried to keep my depression a secret
so please, don't kiss me in the shadows

don't kiss me beneath the moon
it's brilliant contrast from the dark night sky
reminds me of how small and alone we are
and how alone i'd be without you
so please, don't kiss me beneath the moon

don't kiss me under the old oak tree
there were lovers once hung here
and souls that weeped from pain
their memories perpetrating our beings
almost making me wish
i had never met you at all
so please
just don't kiss me at all