I panic internally at the thought of being seen. Not the light I'm afraid of, it's not being believed. hard to love, that's been accepted. That's for not being accepted; by the folks who claim to love you, you'd think it'd be expected.
I didn't know conditions come with it. Love got so tough, I broke apart and left it.

Hard life lessons learned so young, but thick skin kept it together. I cried the dark, it seemed, if no one sees, it'd be better. And yet, here you come along, with plenty of effort. Upon hearing she can't feel strong, you say "let her."

Never been afforded sensitivity; I can't trust myself in vulnerability. The heart sinking feelings comes with my inactivity and there's no credibility when it comes to my mentality, my mental reality.
And all I ask from you is to believe me. Only then will t be okay for you to see me. Only then will I be able to open up to you easily. You'll not have to deal with me closing and leaving.

Hard life lessons learned so young, but thick skin grows in pressure. I only cried the dark cuz if no one sees, it's be better. And yet, here you came along, you've made the effort: to remind her it's okay to feel strong, she is treasure.

if only you can see it from every angle, every side
where am i allowed to be myself?
only in my words and where i write
it seems like what i was, am doesn't deserve life
i pondered what to do with my struggle every night
help me god, i prayed, help me survive
i was told im too weird to live, but i didn't want to die
i couldnt change my kind no matter how often i tried
you swear this is living, having to hide?
expected to hold on, yet left alone to fight
i hate my oppressors, yet i'm told to be kind

maybe i should sleep, my thoughts too quick
running from left to right, i think ima be sick
and my feelings too deep, tryna come out
but in struggling to set my self straight
i write ton of **** i dont know about

i dont know myself, at least like most hear
maybe ive changed too much in the last year
someone new came in since i started here
so i think of staring at myself all night
til i gain the knowledge, lose the fear

someone else wont take over for me
i dont think ive yet set myself free
and up to now, ive let others lead
but its no longer how i want it to be

in the meantime, maybe i should sleep
and when sunrise comes, ill start to think
things will be much different from now on
in light, all uncertainty will then be gone.

here's the sack of honesty that you needed to hear…

your corny texts wont save you now that we’re here

you can list the ways you ****** up without me near

cuz im done having waited for you for over a year.

and no i dont regret a thing, some fun was there
you mattered then and now i really do not care
if you miss me now, i admire your feelings of despair

if you’re feeling lonely, you'll have to look elsewhere

would it be weird if i told you that it’s love i feel?
would you believe me if i said it’s real?
believe me or not, that’s what i got
infatuated, yeah, that’s what i first thought
you say obsession, i say it’s really not
why deny the possibility of it being love?

i tell you i love you each and every day
i mean it, i show it. as often as i say it,
i wonder if you even know it.
and i repeat it for reasons,
i’ll say it over throughout the seasons.

you think i only love the way you make me feel.
i actually love more about you than there is to tell.

overwhelming mental blockage
i cant think straight and i don’t want it
had me waiting to receive news I already knew
baby, you forgot im psychic, didn’t you?
nothing surprises me no more
heart went from my shoulder off to the ***** floor
i don’t care anymore, i swear to myself
that i don’t care anymore
in two, i’ll be ready to let it go.