Isn’t it exhausting
Pulling all your tricks
Picking out your mask for the day
Seeing which one fits?

I'm slowly learning how to stop letting my fear get in the way of my happiness,
Not letting the past affect my opinion of the woman I am today.

Strong, Passionate, Resilient.

And not letting others validate who I am now or where I am going.

I no longer follow anyone else rules or guidebooks to live my life, my choices, mistakes and successes are mine to grieve, fix or celebrate.

So I'm letting go of the fear that controlled my vindictive behavior, and I'm embracing the woman I am and aspire to be.

With a calming breath I feel you,
deep in my lungs
In another I slowly exhale you out,
letting you be you,
as you’ve always let me be me.
Sweet serenity at last;
this is what love is supposed to feel like.

I long for the unknown
but like a bird trapped in a cage
I'm too afraid to do anything about it.
My mind is merely a dream
A lullaby of uncertainty and doubt
covered up with a fake smile I've painted on,
the perfect disguise.

No one knows of my fleeting thoughts
My unattainable daydreams
the secret fantasies
I keep those hidden just for me.

I'm not the person they think I am
the light is dimmer and darker than it appears
It may surprise you if you ever saw it
but you won't.

Like a magician a dreamer doesn't give up their secrets
tucked away in the corners of my thoughts
only reappearing when I allow myself to wander
away from my ordinary life
a place I can indulge in my desires,
my daydream.

The art of letting go is not as easy
as unclenching your fists
feeling the weight of burden slipping through your fingertips

The sweet release of not caring
is not something I’m familiar with or know
I carry this feeling inside of me
and for some reason I can’t let it go.