I only asked for your presence
I didn't want to call you again
I didn't expect you to mock me
As I, tried to process my pain

I'm sorry I expressed my sadness
I'm sorry I needed a hand
I didn't want to burden you
I hoped that you'd understand

I'm sorry I battled my demons
I'm sorry I shared my distress
I'm sorry but I was drowning
With Post Traumatic Stress

I didn't expect the silence
I didn't expect the blame
I suffered deep rooted trauma
It seems I brought you shame

I shut myself away
I kept my trauma confined
I watched you all move on
As I was left behind

Time has left a stranger
I'm not the person you know
In order to help me heal
I had to let you go

A moment of solace
Destroyed by the sea
It's pulling me under
I cannot break free

I cling to the boat
My nails digging in
The raging storm
Battling within

A torrent of water
Crushing my chest
Pinning my body
Causing distress

My mind floods
I'm drowning in fear
Helplessly watching
My end drawing near

I hear my name
As you call for me
You settle the noise
The storms and the sea.

The light disappears
My life fades to black
I struggle to breathe
But you pull me back

The distance between us
Grows further apart
Consumed by the storm
That blackens my heart

And out at sea I battle
With all that nature throws
Waves that strip the ocean
Exposing cracks and bones

I'm battered by the storms
Waves tower over me
I'm frozen on the sea bed
Time stands still for me

I'm paralysed with fear
Exhausted, weak and prone
The sea will soon consume me
I can't fight this alone

My life flashed before me
A memory kept inside
Playing my emotions
That surge with the tide

A glimmer of light
Breaking the skies
In awe of the wonder
That light up my eyes

Is the tree falling
When time has left it still
Slow path it's crossing

I break the surface
As the water recedes
I'm no longer fighting
Washed up in the weeds

I look for the voice
Calling out to me
Feeling the sand
Away from the sea

I crawl for a while
Then stand on my feet
I take a few steps
Snow following sleet

I walk for the hills
The sun escapes me
The night draws in
Moon lights the quay

There on the pier
You waited for me
You never gave up
You kept calling me

The pain in my heart
I left in the sea
No longer distressed
I'm finally free

By Darren Wall

An old church at the end of the road
Sunflowers spill over the altar
For children grown old.

Alone in the pews
I watch light suffused
Through stained glass windows.

When I was young
And it was my turn
They gave us roses
Told us they still have thorns
Because life would hurt us
When we found it.

Most of us did.

Including me.

Most of us left those four walls.

Most of us moved far away.

Most of us never returned.

Except for me.

The dusty hymnals smell like youth.
The empty sanctuary looks like home.
And I can still see myself by the piano
The sound of my violin
Was bigger than the world.

When it's all over

I step outside and feel the cold.

I was so young.

And now I'm afraid.

I'm getting so old.

I don't know anyone
Filing out the door.
Nobody knows me.

I walk to the B&B.
I ask for a room.
I used to play there so often
They always let me stay for free.


The clerk says it's switched hands
A dozen times or more.
They say the chandelier
Hasn't heard a song in years.

I unpack my suitcase upstairs
And can't help but shed a few tears

For a town
That truly
Forgot
Me.

I'm hidden by barriers
That you cannot see
I'm trapped and alone
But you can see me

I'm muted by noise
That you cannot hear
My screams fall silent
But you know I am here

I'm frozen by fear
Yet my body will hide
The trauma and pain
Leaking inside

I'm fighting the past
To keep history confined
My ignorance clear
I've wasted your time

Messages cease
Friendships break down
Burden too much
To stick around

I'm hidden by barriers
That you cannot see
I'm trapped and alone
Now you've left me

By Darren Wall