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Grey May 5
There’s a hole in my body that is your home.
Cushions in my lungs
Blankets in my brain
Kitchen in my heart.
The door is always open
Tables freshly dusted
Windows sparkly clean.
Please, come in.
Leave your ***** dishes in the sink
Put your feet up on the counter.
Scribble on the walls
And drape your clothes on every chair.
Please, mess me up inside.
5/1/2024
Grey Feb 21
I found you (you found me)
hands hidden
gloves to the edges of your sleeves (I wished I could see)
Box on the side of the road
three kittens inside (I wanted to join them)
One pocket for each crying mind
they were hidden.

Gloves callused, hands warm
you led me to your home (my home)
jacket off gloves on sleeves down
palms against your face
rain against your skin it’s rain it’s rain (I know)
but kittens hide in your pockets
so you wipe the water from your cheeks
and one by one you set them free (it’s warm)
Paws against face against gloves
fingers down their back
running through their hair (you ask them why they’re sad)

No response, except
purrs run hot against your cheeks (my smile is tattooed with your skin)
tails swish against your shirt
fur rumpled, eyes soft
so small against your chest (grow in circles with me)
Gloves off, kittens warm.

Paws against face against skin (they ask you why you’re sad)
it’s rain you say, it’s rain it’s rain it’s rain

(I kiss the tears away)
completed 2/20/2024
Grey Feb 21
Some days I talk to you with my head instead of my mouth.
As endless jokes slide between my teeth
I tell you
I wish smiling didn’t come so easy.
I know you slide safety pins into the corners of your lips and through the tops of your cheeks
before walking through my door.
You always reach for me, fingers curling round my own
intertwining
so our fingers look like a tall picket fence standing between us and our palms.
I wonder
do you hold my hand like you would your own,
begging your younger self to stumble away — on foot, because your wings were still too small to fly on —
in any direction that wasn’t towards home
instead of giving her the key
and letting her lock you away
leaving you to batter hopelessly against
the confines of your rib cage,
wings no longer small
but cut
some by her hand,
some by yours held (lovingly) (hatefully) in her own?
I wonder
if your pulse between my fingers
is from your screaming begging tearing heart,
or the sound of you hitting the walls
of your confine time and time again
like a bird hitting a blacked-out window
because it knew it used to be clear.
Once, you let go of my hand
held me in a chokehold
until I tapped out minutes too soon
and I wonder
were your hands itching, hurting, begging
to feel the softness of your throat
the way your fingers would press
into hollows formed by a year’s worth of work
but you couldn’t, you couldn’t
not with your safety-pin smile
so you did the next best thing
and laughed your post-it note laugh
one prepared from hours of late-night YouTube tutorials
that you watched as you drowned in the smell of your home
and you reached for me,
held me in the way she taught you to hold
even as you hated yourself
hated her
hated the her that was yourself,
the yourself that was her and was hers
for listening to the lessons
she recites with her hands.
9/9/2022
Grey Feb 21
Ice cold hands
on jagged skin
Please don’t let me go

Tell me you’re okay
– No don’t lie!
But
tell me you’re okay

Where is your voice?
Lost its place
behind my ear
I can’t hear it anymore

Last time we spoke
you cried against my skin
droplets tattooed into my soul
I promise
I will never let you go.
2/20/2024
Grey Mar 2023
Landlocked oceans
Killing trees
There’s nothing but the notion
Of worn out leaves
Gonna tear them apart
Before I run away
From the swimming
Sinking screaming
Of what follows
3/8/2023
Grey Mar 2023
Buzzing buzzing
Lips curling
Fingers thrumming
There’s nothing in my mind
But that stupid silent humming
Gonna go insane
Without any weight
Above my head
Gonna go insane
Without any thoughts
Inside my brain
Gonna go insane
In a world where there’s 
Nothing inside sanity
But silence
3/8/2023
Grey Mar 2023
Throw a bone to the dog
Because i’m hungry hungry
Quiet crunching sinew
White against yellow teeth
Worn against soft gums
Eating eating eating
Gone gone gone
Throw another bone to the dog
3/8/2023
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