My heart is aching
My throat is itching
My head is throbbing and
My sight is fading

Still I smoke the cigarette,
Inhaling the smoke so deep into my lungs,
That you would think it was for the last time


My mind is screaming,
My hands are buzzing
My legs are weakening
My chest is beating

Still I smoke the cigarette,
Inhaling the smoke so deep into my lungs,
That you would think it could ease my mental distress


My ribs are tightening
My eyes are burning
My lungs are ripping and
My scars are prickling

Still I smoke the cigarette,
Inhaling the smoke so deep into my lungs,
That you would think it could tame the beast inside me

*One must always hope

I keep forgetting how striking you are
How charming and stunning you are

I forget because I tell myself not to look at you
I forget because I don’t want to be longing for -

Your hands around my waist
Your laugh which overshadows my every thought

Your strong arms which once held me tight
Your broad shoulders which sheltered me into reassurance

I say that I keep forgetting,
But I always remember,
The second you take a look in my direction

Even for just a second
I remember it *all