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Cat 3d
Fog
When you died;
Everything was different.
How I moved, thought,
And saw the world
Changed forever.

A switch went off in my brain that day
and a fog machine turned on.
And as I try to walk through daily
I become disoriented,
Stumbling through the best I can,
As the machine continues on.
But the fog is getting thicker;
And It’s getting hard to breathe.

I’m starting to get scared,
That I’ll never make it through.
But I’m even more afraid that
Once the fog clears,
There is nothing but dead air left.
Cat Feb 26
I’m jealous of you.

You had more time,
More opportunities,
More time to be a kid,
And more time with your mom.
You won’t have to bury her
When you’re 23
Or plan her funeral.
You get to live life for yourself, uninterrupted;
Without the burden of trying to hold together your family.
Im happy you won’t experience this,
For a long while.
And while I don’t want to be,

I’m still jealous.
Cat Mar 2022
I want to die
But I can not right now
It’s scary and forever
But it is sounding so nice
Right now

It’s overwhelming and
I feel frustration
On a daily rotation
I cry and complain

You're always there for me
I feel like I am emotionally
Draining to you my dear
I want to not feel this way
But everything feels not ok

Please take away this feeling
Because I feel way too much
It is like I am always overfilling
Emotions always cloud my day
I get stressed and I can not focus
On really anything or anyone that matters

I feel selfish and annoying and rude
I can not help it and I am sorry
I feel useless and I want out
I want to not exist but also have a happy
oh so happy life.
Please fix me, please save me,
I’m so scared without you.
Cat Jul 2021
It makes me sad that I can’t seem to find a way.
The entrance even seems so far a way
Each door a new beginning or an end to one.
I can not help but feel like there’s not a single one
A single one, worth the trek.
Sometimes I just feel like a wreck.
Cat Mar 2021
You always trusted that adult
With life figured out.
As you got older
You became that adult
With nothing figured out
Cat Oct 2020
Time passes by
And does not wait.
Consistently though,
Patiently you care

Years ago
When we met in math,
All we could do was
Smile and laugh

Years to come
We still share laughs
Silliness and seriousness
Forever we will last.
Cat Aug 2020
The tides thrash violently
With quick indecisiveness,
Incoherently teetering with
Abrasive candor.

The storm cleaves through
Swiftly and unremitting.
Callous destruction
Wavering into tranquility.    

Calm and serene
Still water under a tentative sun,
Decidedly not blue.
Fictitious placid waters,
Hide a tumultuous storm brewing.
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