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Ameer Pather Jun 2020
Seeing you the first time,
I knew I needed more.
We met, in a group of friends,
I had to see more.

Some time went by,
I found myself thinking more.
We met again, exchanged details,
I knew then I wanted to speak more.
We did, we spoke all the time,

You made me want to become more.
Now that you're mine,
I feel as though I'll never again,
find myself,
Wanting more...
Ameer Pather May 2020
I've been hurt before,
just like anyone else.
Lied to, cheated on, teased, bullied and on and on the list goes.
I've been undone time and time again and yet,
the biggest injustice ever done to me was by myself,
because I left myself undone and simply carried on.
Ameer Pather May 2020
"You dress weird"
I heard the one say,
And then I heard another go,
"No one's going to speak to you looking like that"
They kept going on, one after the other..
"If you feel comfortable, rock it"
"Don't take note of them, do you"
"I mean, that's so last year"
"You should dress according to your body type"
All the while, I'm looking in the mirror, doubtful...
"No matter what you wear, you'll never look good enough"
"Have you thought about dieting?"
"You're amazing just the way you are"
"Those who are able to accept are the only ones worth having in your life"
"What do you even have to offer people?"
"If I were desperate enough, they maybe"
STOP! I shouted.
This is when I realised I've been sitting alone,
No one else is around,
And this right here, is my daily routine.
A group discussion of all the voices who live in my head,
Each one a different situation from my past that I've allowed to move in to my head..
It's hard some days, I even lose the battle on other days.
But I am who I am, and today,
I'm simply in love with who I am.
Anxiety based discussion that takes place in my mind on a daily basis... Constantly having to not break down and not succumbing to the voices who try and put me down... This has lead to me missing so many days of my life and so many opportunities because all that happens is on any given day, I could just freeze up and not be able to face anything outside of my room walls.
Ameer Pather Apr 2020
I always felt true to the thought,
"that which you love, you shall attract."
But never did I give mind to the flip side of that.
"that which you fear, you'll also attract."
Yes, I love you deeply, but I know now, that I feared losing you more than I was able to love you.
It's funny though, it's all so clear now, only after I've lost you!
Ameer Pather Apr 2020
Somewhere along the way, I've forgotten to trust the process.
I wanted to be the controller of my outcomes.
Instead of focusing on me, being true to me, I wanted to have at all.
In the end, I lost myself.

And now, I'm trusting the process, starting with the process of finding myself.
Ameer Pather Apr 2020
I've learnt that appreciating the sweetness of English has become my biggest enemy.
I've twisted my love for words and added meaning to things you've said to me and turned it into what was never meant
Ameer Pather Apr 2020
I should be labelled an escape artist.
However, I don't escape from locked cages or safes that have been submerged deep under water.
No, instead, I have been escaping my pain and all that's hurt me
All these years,
and times running out.
I'm running out of air and it sbecome hard to breath in my confinement of demons which are my wounds.
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