I lay on the warm bed,
Heated by an unforgiving sun,
Indifferent to how I felt or wanted,
Misery is my birthright;

I looked at my wrist, my slightly sunken veins,
Maybe light's wavelength is a facade,
More green than blue, more death than life,
Tainted blood, still blessed with beauty and grace;

My skin burned, was something trying to escape?
Did the wraiths of my past terrify the demons?
Have I gone insane trying to make sense of it all?
Our dying sun does not care, capitalism has won;

The tired lights of the stars and the ever-growing dark,
My arms are weary from the weight of my choices,
Losing a war does not make you a victim always,
The land is unwelcoming, evolution's mutant regret;

I remember those raw glances,
Not that I caught you looking,
My skin still sears warm from it,
Your desire echoes between my bones;

I remember eating fast just to leave,
you smiling so coy and awestruck,
The tiny soft silences spoken even,
so much was said and exchanged;

The feel of you, your voice in my ears,
Tangled and forever tethered me to you,
The weight of your love is a mystery,
I certainly know it's gravity and nature,

I could gaze on your heart, every shade,
Even after all this time, I'm so in awe,
I've loved you all the same, never enough,
You who reminded me to laugh again;

I sit alone in all my flooded decks,
Folded, split, humid and unrecognizable,
Severed across the planes of my being,
I never saw myself in a mirror anyway;

My chest thumps painfully,
The echoes of systole and diastole,
The sound of life, I remain,
Your voice plays in my head too,

Home is never far away,
Will you hold me through the dark?
I see the shore yet I cannot stand,
Will you sacrifice me, my love?

Burn away all my old ways,
Reflect your light into my veins,
Will you call me your own?
Claim me away from the unseeable?

Your hand runs across my cheek,
The war is over, you've brought peace,
I look into your eyes, my faithful home,
They'll tell me 'I'm yours, you're mine'

All I want is nothing more, to see you forever,
Forever is nothing but moments weaved,
Oranges, the slap, the big dog, our smiles,
However I ache for more and more everyday,

You'll lay in my lap, my hand in your hair,
I'll sing you all your favorite songs, I'll talk too,
Forever will be dawn to dusk for endless days,
No more summers, only winters where we bloom

I miss you, the chambers of my heart boom,
You're the spark of the layers in them,
My sinoatrial nodes are jealous of you,
You, the queen of my being, my forever

Oh the thrill of seeing you,
Tremors across my heart,
Stunning my unruly soul,
Turning my mug into a curve;

Priceless and privileged,
Honoured and crowned,
The love I've earned steadfast,
The care my spirit yearned for,

It's all mine, oh what a glory,
To be loved by her is divine,
Divinity is her eyes, her eyes...
I never even liked eyes before,

I bow before your graceful splendor,
Brilliant as the sunset, peaceful as twilight,
I'll never get enough, I'm your addict,
I'll never OD either, I was made for you;

I yearn to hold your hair in Pacific Ocean devotion,
When you call for me, don't look around
I spark between those electric fingers of yours,
Your breath, your everything, I'm yours

I remember that morning sitting across her,
I crushed that orange so unconsciously,
The nectar of it dripped across my leg,
The rage of being interrupted in our world;

I couldn't wait anymore to talk to her,
I had so much to listen to in the first place,
Every ignition of each neuron in her beautiful brain,
I wanted it all so jealously, I missed them so much;

I remember so much about her even with ADHD,
She is my greatest and my most precious hyper fixation,
I can't remember half my life but I remember her flowers,
I can't remember my favorite memories without her in it,

She is the night sky in full luminescence,
I am the moon knight, I remember each night,
I'll remember every night, I remember her,
She'll never be forgotten, insignificant nor unobserved,

I'd peel and eat every orange on the planet for you,
I did it once with tears knocking behind my eyes,
I'll do it all again, as Khaled Hosseini said
"For you, a thousand times over"

I watched her bowl, with that ballerina bounce,
She took her shot, striding backwards with confidence,
Her magical arms flailing in anticipation, she looked ahead,
She held my breath by being herself, I miss your laugh;

I think it's probably how she did her greatest heist,
Taking what I guarded so fiercely and so secure,
Even though, I think back then I just handed it to her,
What was always meant to be hers found it's home;

I asked her today if it's safe and sound,
She gave me the most perfect answer,
How I ached to hear such care and consideration,
Beyond all hope of how I wished for it,

To be valued and loved by someone so interesting,
And so ethereally beautiful, what an honor and privilege,
I know she doesn't agree with me on the interesting,
I hang every thought of her alongside her,
Like the moon and her stars,

I find most things painfully dull and frightfully boring,
Every second with her is finding a kaleidoscope for the first time,
Every sound she makes is melody to my soul and it's atoms,
She is the force of attraction between all of them

I never know how to stop writing about her,
It's always this awkward pause and now I understand it,
I can't stop breathing for long, it sustains me so does loving her,
The deepest devotion grows even now that I am yours :)