I don't want to be sad
I don't want to be angry
I want to be happy
I want to get lost in it
Forever moving, forever creating
I'm too still for my own good
I want to fly, not be grounded,
but my dreams only tend to hurt others
they say it seems impossible
or improbable and too doomed to fail and my mind is nonsense destined for medication but I don't know about all of that

I'm at impasse after impasse trying to
be in love, when will things turn out right for me ?

I can see the pollen course
through the air like this
valley were a vein.
It would be a shame
to be allergic to the
lifeblood of nature.
If only there were
pedals slowly flowing,
would be beautiful.

I don't care if it takes years,
I'll sit and wait
until it feels right.
and at that time,
it'll be glorious.
I'll know God
like she's
my second sister.
I won't even
remember when
I missed her.

it was such a light rain today
that it was practically a mist,
I could barely feel it on my skin.
I'm hopeful, but then I'm doubtful.

is there something wrong about finding beauty in a flower even if it's fake ?
it surely wasn't placed there for me in your abandonded car.
and there are some budding white ones nearby.
I don't even know, I can hardly keep track of anything nowadays.
I'm a fish-head or some pontificating ape or just some bozo you might hate, love, or ignore, or even might be scared of.
J can't even tell, no not one bit.
Maybe my face is just one faded memory waiting to be rediscovered;
maybe I've lost you so many days that I haven't even kept any count.

on memory lane,
just walking in an
opposite direction.

the waterways
and slim heat
are a confession,
a resolution to my
mind,

quiet dancers
for my mind's
ears,
sub silent soliloquies
saunter on in
forevermore.

was it basking
in some hot wax
or was it soothing on a
sordid stone
that we never acted?
did we miss eachother
by a minute ?
took times out of our day
to disappear disappointed,
or did we discover it just in time ?

if need be,
let yourself break to your
lowest number,
be comfortable in your indecisions
and embrace your faultlines.
you're safe,
you're alright.
you're every piece,
every part,
there is
to love.