It's lonely
I have nowhere else to be at
A tiny death occurs
A flashlight open eye
Does it even stop?
Lost hung thoughts dry out in my room
Then the basic rumor smoke fills
your lungs
It's cheap awkward stares that faze
Those small cat like dreams
Spread over the coffee table
Unmasked and unafraid
That's where you still stand
Holding regrets final collapse
It's not enough

dear reader,
will you please help me?

i am starving!

whoever you are
wherever you are
whenever you can:

feed me with money
don't you worry about ostensible risks for yourself your soul or your body:

rumors. spread by liars
who dare to call me a drug

truly, i'm starving for you.

sincerely
your favorite substance

Whispers echoing in a trusted ear,
spoken to another ear.
Echoing louder than once before,
exaggerated and twisted
for you find everyone knows
those whispers you called secrets.
As it spread like a chain,
to one trusted person of theirs
to the next
The identity of those whispers
are no longer secrets but rumors.

you, your letters are infinitely more beautiful.
everything about you was -the bite in your words,
the beauty.

you, unassuming.
your tops, looking unintentional,
but all carefully picked.

i fell in love when i saw you’re writing,
because your words told me writing was beautiful.
magical, musical, unassuming.

but you’re also a total *****,
a girl who gets all the love
and leaves you feeling rotten.

what kind of girl, what kind of beauty
targets a younger, admiring, girl,
making her feel *****?

cruel. of course, my friends know it.
i, i scramble in shock,
to deny it. you know.

and i hate you now,
somehow your writing doesn’t seem like it did,
beautiful. but it still is the best i’ve seen.

i think back to you,
wonder if my writing is just as pretty,
as the girl who was my first muse.

You were once my dear friend
But never again
I feel so used
Violated
The victim of your lies
Your rumors

I am no fool
And I refuse to be walked on
You say I have medical problems
Just to get attention
Because I'm just jealous
That you have similar issues
But people actually show up at your hospital bed
While I lie there alone
I've NEVER been the jealous type
Nor am I a fake

You've known me sense we were children
I thought you'd understand me better by now
I wouldn't lose my job over illness
If I had a choice
Because no one will pay my bills for me the way they do for you
I've been on my own sense I was 17
And your mom still does everything for you
I wish a single person would even look in my direction, let alone show they care

I never asked for this
And I dont get attention and it's fine with me
I'm just tired of how you mock and de-humanize me
I'd much rather fight instead of roll over and die
That seems to be the difference between you and I

You can find me in the newspaper -
"Don't get too close,
this one's insane."
Yeah, you can read me in the paper.
"Don't get too close,
that boy's insane."
Didn't take me long to figure out
that the one's who wrote it
barely know my name.

Go ask the one's who used to hang around,
I'm sure they'll tell you some and more.
Go ask they one's who used to hang around me.
I'm sure they'll tell you some and more.
Sure, we had good times together,
but now when I see 'em coming
I lock the door.

Most of what you hear is a rumor,
the rest is really just a bore.
Baby, most of the talks are rumors,
and I promise the rest is just a bore.
Way I see it, there's two options:
believe them, or stick around
if you wanna know for sure.