Maybe I just forgot to make them
Or perhaps its the lack of interest

But this year

No new years resolutions.

I’ve tried all year
To change the person I am

But last year

I didn’t change

So what makes people think,
That I’ll change this year?

I am
Casting down imaginations
To the pulling down of., strong-holds
Gearing up for the., long term
But from the outside looking in?
May seem bold
or  quite
MAD*
( Well )
Just referring to the thoughts
that I have
that are really not that far- off
while dreaming of.,  REVELATION
No fabrication on my part
As I try to separate the Light
from the Dark
with high hopes and
Aspirations
Which is.. a sen-sational sensation of flying high
as I'm being
           vated
ele-
                  Elevelation
High on
Or something like a planned
Evo-lu-tion that is so
True
Staying true to my elevation in 2020
leading into 2020 one
Now seeing  Dou-ble
Vision
( Although )
Some might try to fix it?
Yeaah
But I would beg to differ
Cause it would take.. Twice.. the listen
Care to listen?
Just to see things
Different
And at the same time?
Shuning the carnal mind's version
of seeing  Dou-ble
Vision
May call it.. Twinning
Which is the true definition
of being  Dou-ble
Minded
So to combat this?
I would just never
Mind it ( meaning )
There's no rules or
bars of
Confinement
For no 20 or Eye is missing
from my
INTUITION
Raised suspicions?
Well., Just hoping that you will
tread.. carefully
And stay
Centered
As you enter my center of words
and.. penning
As I write the vision
I'll make it plain and simple
No Subliminals
Or either I'll keep it at minimal
While maintaining the
Visuals
As usual
As I keep on gaining in
WISDOM

Good morning.
Lean into the good,
even if a hangover fug
has you in its grasp,
breathe deep.

We still have grey days
to argue with, some tears,
til greenery ensues
when lost, hidden and new truths will return.

So make the morning good,
with toast and jam
or salt, fat and shenanigans.

And for your soul,
despite the impotent bitterness
of prevailing winds,
prop open the door a little.

On the New Year's Eve,
As the clock hits midnight
and marks the new beginning
- The show begins
In a flash,
the night sky
gets lit on fire,
Fiery flowers hissing and fizzing,
their crackle and boom
steal the silence,
and in the midst of this frenzy;
I begin to ponder
that with each passing year,
we are racing towards - our destiny,
so I look back
and question myself
to contemplate
the mistakes I made,
the promises I break,
the unrealistic goals - I set,
and in this moment
I know why many of us
(when entering into the new year)
misses the mark
just like the kids who were
shooting rockets - in the dark...

let me not dwell on things i lost, forgot.
who gains from memories of memories fought?

...i resolve to tune out
...write more
...nap more

...i resolve to embrace confusion
...keep discovering
...keep listening

...i resolve to be more self-aware
...refuse to act my age
...say less no and more yes

...but let my yes be yes and my no be no

Do I want to cry?
Do I want to laugh?

Should I enjoy life or let it pass
I feel so good but equally so awful

Stop killing people
Stop bringing pain

Death is the only source of peace
Can’t find it in the human life

I’ve felt pain
I’ve felt joy

But when is the happy ending?
Where does the hurt stop?

I like to think it will all work out
But that ***** not gonna happen

I am not an angry woman
Though you try to make me so
I’m scrupulous. And sentient
And more than you’ll ever know.

I realise now, I don’t know you either
Not your song, only what you show
I don’t know your passions or your vices
Or what thoughts, through you, flow.

Thus, in that living equinox,
On that line in the sand,
Between all of me and all of you
We make our momentary stand.
You can have me as I choose
I won’t be carved by your hand.

So, look not, oh stranger, for my rage
For such a thing is but infernal
Instead, find in me an endless love
For I am Olga and I am, Eternal.

Claustrophobic
Cockroaches in corners
Concrete slabs
Clutching, cloaking, choking

Confined and
Constrained of a
Counterfeit life, I was the perfect
Charlatan of my encompassing separation.

Compelled into Self, oh yet
Cumbersome conditioning
Cultivating awareness within
Concentrated compression. I,

Cave!
Capitulation. Cannot withstand these
Currents of clouded
Compensation.

Comfortable in this
Chaos, as I've finally
Concluded: It comprises all of me.
Completely void

Contently
Containing nothing,
Clear from attached perceptions
Captivating Silence.

Come through me
Crawl into my
Caverns
Crash unto my shore

Caressing sensuality
       Continuously
Cascading        down, down, down
Composing my entirety.