Day and night, I try to fight the great fight, my lone attempts are always failing, can only reach success through the King of kings, because of Him my heart now sings. The war is won, because The Father sent His Son. Now I don’t live in fear, because of Christ always being here. I surrender all to The Holy One and I’m sealed with The Spirit. This won’t ever be undone. The Rock is stable and the firm foundation makes me able to survive the storm and not get lost. Jesus Christ paid the cost of my own sin, and because of this, over death we win. The deceptive one has been beat, but he still spreads his deceit but I’m on my feet and not at all will I be discreet about the love of God. T’would be too odd, after all that God has done for me and my family, so The Son of Man has a battle plan and a better view of the battlefield. So to Him I yield everything. Thank You Lord for the love You bring… 🙏🏻

The hammer is falling, my fists are clenching and teeth gnashing while my bones are crunching. Waves of pain are crashing, breaking. The voices are calling but no one is there, not even myself. The blood is pumping, aided by adrenaline dumping. The lack of the drug is inducing my mind to start seizing, both my legs are freezing, involuntarily quaking. The sensation of claws are slashing my back. As my heart keeps thumping, pumping and jumping. Now my blood is pooling. So the attack dogs keep drooling. They smell the blood and begin to whip into a frenzy. I jump up and start running, because the dogs, when hungry are very cunning. I was moving fast as if I had wheels, but one dog was much faster and now nips at my heels. The dog bit my foot so I tripped and then fell. Now it’s gnawing on my leg and I don’t feel very well. So I patted the dog’s head and then laid down for a spell…will I wake up? Only time will tell.

Thank you Lord Jesus for always staying with me. For never leaving me whilst in the valley of the shadow of death, Lord, Your mighty love, your guiding rod, Your comforting staff, they inform me. Thank You Jesus for helping me to use, even the toughest of times to glean some forms of positive personal growth and for the spreading of the hope Your Holy Spirit brings... It's good to know that You've got my back, Lord Jesus...

I love you.
But are we the same anymore?
I am not saying we shall break.
But just a mere question of wonder.
Are we?
Are we truthfully going to get threw this?
I know me as myself.
That i may be able to but it will take every piece of strength i have inside of me.
I love you.
You know i do.
I've told you almost everything of me.
Besides the one part of my past no one shall ever know besides me and j.
I've told you i trust you.
I mean that.
I do.
I've told you i'll be with you forever.
I meant that as well.
You know i will forever love you apart or together.
But I think ive become someone else new.
We we're not speaking for a few months.
And i changed.
You have been able to tell of this.
I have become who i was before.
But just stronger.
I have finally beat the stuff that killed me inside.
Now i can ignore it.
But you tell me your sad again.
This back and forthing of being sad then the other person being happy.
Isnt it tiresome?
I hope you know every word ive said I have meant.
We have been threw our fights.
We have been threw our scares.
We have been threw wiping each others tears.
Every problem you know them.
You know my addictions.
You know my life.
You know how much it compares to everyone elses.
You know the death defying things ive seen.
You know my secrets.
You've held me while i cry for hours.
You've held my wrist when all that happened.
You make me smile.
But also make me cry.
You've become my dying friend to me.
Only i tell you I love you.
You've filled the hole that he had kept in his hands.
You dont know how i feel because i hide it with a smile..
If i say goodbye...
Will you still be here?
I'm not saying goodbye.
But its again.
A mere question of wonder..
I love you.
Keep that in mind my dear.
But if i do one day say goodbye.
Please dont make this whole become empty because you know nobody could fill it again.
So please do not destroy me.
Because i'll forever be in love with you.