I built a room out of keys and locked doors
for a steeple boy.
Still, he shuts out the eyes of the people.

He buried his twin sister
a generation ago.
No one knew he killed
“her”
He wrecked her being with the weight of his tears
He tore apart her womb and *******
with the inconsistencies in his mind.

She went willingly,
quietly.
She never existed for him.

Yet, he keeps her
in the hazy recesses of his thoughts.
Reluctantly, necessarily.
A tethered reminder.

His mind is just as broken
just as fickle
just as full as hers.
His/(her)
clenched fists
sentimental soul
conflicted body
bittersweet existence

Maybe today will be the day he is
born
without the mask of his sister.
A coward
(not a fraud)
no longer.

May he speak unwaveringly
even as his spirit wavers.
May his chest be flat and strong
May he sit wider than his mother permits
May his wrists stay unmarred
May his body
be painted blue
and his eyes
(pink).

Though his flesh may be
Change(able),
remember it contains
his heart
his soul
his mind,
that knows and is unsure
…
his throat, that speaks, even as it betrays his deepness
his breath, that fills his well-worn lungs
his spine, that remains s despite crushing ribs
                                                t
                                                r
                                                a
                                                i
                                                g
                                                h
                                                t
his blood, that flows cleanly through veins
his organs, that run amid the ruin of his subsistence.

Now,
his hands open with the creak
of strained muscles.
No longer fading, he fills this space.
Showered, his arms extend into sleeves of a suit.
His fingers pull pants in place
His fingers secure buttons
His fingers knot his tie
His fingers fasten his laces
and,
he remembers his sister.
He chips at her mortar around his heart
His eyes, once covered in cypress flowers,
change to lilies.
He fists the correct key, using his voice,
          “This ain’t no sham.
            I am what I am”

Steeple boy,
choose life.
Change life.
You’ll be alright.

Relearned human being,
believe.