who's me, and who's you
you made your decision
before we know the truth

i wish you shared it earlier
doubts and broken feelings
but now it's too late to push

maybe it's better like this
maybe this or maybe that
but maybe the maybe is me
the silent lake inside of this body

numb
indecisive
unstable
depressed

**** has been there for a long time
long enough to say goodbye?
i'd understand it, i'd serve
after a past you don't deserve

i wish you all the best
particularly happiness

i wish you'd have caused my silent waters
i'm just afraid it's not and i lost
my inner voice, in earlier days
the vibration of the forgotten lake

now i don't know where to look
maybe changing situations
but maybe, maybe it's you
because what i crave is to feel

love
passion
satisfied
invincible

i wish for so many things
people have no idea, they don't see
the lost and wasted energy
dried-up water in the desert

now analyse all of my feelings
let others tell me what to do
when the answer is simple

the world just doesn't work like that
like my imagination, golden visions

i thought i have no fantasy
who knows i have too much?
to get sad, not standing above it

well my heart can cry out loud
because of this cold hard place
where's addiction for the lost
and money for the wicked

i don't speak or read, but still feel it all
tell me how to ignore and avoid that
****, then i can only accept the fall
but i will never close my eyes

my passion to growl is too big
just like the world is too big
to change my tearing feelings
and feels too huge to accept

powerlessness
helplessness
hateful
opressers

maybe i'm here for a reason then
not to get bitter like them
not to become a walked over
forgotten ego or addict

gonna try to find the focus
the eye of the storm, right
they say a little ego is good
but it's also a challenge

not to let this ego grow
because of rejection or money
your religion or age
to obtain status or power

the world is a sad place

a Capricorn can just not give up
even not if none wants her, to be (there)
even not if it has to feel the load every day
it would feel as betrayal itself

and who's me, who's you
it doesn't even matter because
"you cannot change what you are
only what you do."

i don't feel the love of your words
just hear the questions
to make another joke of me
the laughter of evil

but how could i know what love is?
at least i felt something, close
with the devil, but that didn't matter
for an abandoned girl alone

a wooden lath
before my nose
i take it
and the world is gone

another lath
above me
i take it
and start climbing

and climbing
to somewhere
on my way through
a sky full of stars

up there, love
i see your hand
but it's not just a hand
a hand full of hope

left home and went on a journey of discovery
because of a voice inside told me
we are out of the dark now, beyond recovery

your touch like falling leaves, falls deep into my skin
accumulating and becoming
a mountain of magic from within

the thousand leaves, together they stand strong
my nerves feel like flying out of my body
we start singing our own song

por mi parte soy o creo ser músico
escuchadora de la nada, visitante del mundo,
admiradora de los gatos, uno de los animales,
la interpelante, creyente que todo es interesante,
investigadora de los ojos, amante de las ondas,
bastante obstinada, pero cada vez tu ayudante

una habladora, la interruptora del silencio
de todos modos la guardia de tu gran secreto
simpatizante del arte, todo lo que es dulce,
las lenguas romanas y las puestas del sol
enemigo de la monotonía y el capitalismo
luchadora por todo lo que es un organismo

maybe the only way is writing
because then it's really mine
me i and none else except..
the pain just like a bloodline
a line none knows the cause of
looks like a road to nowhere
and i just don't seem to change
again let my body walk into a well
i wish to end up like Alice but no
still ending up in a certain hell

no existence of cloud nine
never giving me
no definition to determine
who i am inside

like giving a name to a tornado
everything we have to define
looking for a ******* sign
maybe the only way is writing
so many hours spent, tired of
forever waiting for a guideline
same tiresome fears here inside
and i just don't seem to change
giving till i'm giving to give, giving
then finally giving myself away..

the blood in my veins a speedboat
a suffocating feeling in my throat
this body is not made for the brain
unexpressed frustration and pain
should there be a reason for it all
or is it just the me seeing it all fall

simply living in a land of the fittest
however not fair to criticize the nearest
alone when i see them losing their minds
lonelier when i see i have lost my mind
i wish to be free but i feel brainwashed
being judged and misunderstood
expressing the bottled-up hatred
it's so exhausting, often feels wasted

then you start writing - let some **** go
still trying hard not to go with the flow
and always wishing, wishing to be a bird
untouchable like an eagle
invisible for the entire earth
then i'm just existing, being there
pure behaviour and unspoilt nature

it's ok to make me feel sad
me and here, the living dead

because i know
one day even i'll feel alive

because i know
one day our time will come

because if we'll survive
one day we'll know everything

so don't you worry about me
and i'll let you totally free

because i know
you deserve more than this

because i know
you need what i give

because we both know
one day we'll really know

it's ok to express the anger on me
i may also be the reason for it

but promise me us
because you know i'll admit

wild as the blowing wind
patient like the night
seeing you, seeing me
the first hidden light

the sprinkle water on you
will soon be vaporized
on a lava-like body
and i'm still mesmerized

from all direct words
till the warmth of hands
touch above your ears
in our timeless sands

like candles in an open window
fighting against the storm
stay awake and give
light in any form

my thoughts you speak
as a voice from outer space
the horse in your heart of fire
sure runs, but is ready to embrace

times of being, like in dreams
human at its peak
rough times of melting
strong and weak

from your old face changing
in enthusiastic times
till the fear of change
by our darker rhymes

makes me want to
crack you open like a peanut
then makes you able to
put me on the surgeon table, and cut

the poor balance of trust
appreciated to have found
the good, has overwhelmed
even though not bound

this is my freedom:
no need to feel paralized
my freedom is yours
and i'm still mesmerized

i don’t want to give up
i hate giving up

those people

sweet love
don’t you believe anymore?

don’t you want to fight
just like before?

and yes i’m tired
tired of fighting

alone

at the moment
when it’s not going so well

sweet love
can’t you just fight for me?

or just tell me
farewell

i wish i could do more than this
i wish i could make you really happy
so you'd never have to face the darkness
never more. and i would **** for it..
but i know you won't let me

i whisper you my honest words
i have trust in you, your little girl
it will be alright if you keep faith
inside i feel the anger of injustice
and i simply stay calm and close

what evil dares to take such a big part
of your life, of your tender heart
they tried to fill it with black
i wish i could give her back
i can only give you red..

all good you exist of i return
meanwhile in your eyes i read
someone is still missing
someone is a part of you
i wish i could change it by kissing

now i know love, unstoppable
who deserved what years ago?
i wish to have known the possible
a little bit earlier in our existence
existing and making ourselves tired

so outrageous for the soul
but it also has made us grown
this crap has fed us with intelligence
for others unknown feelings, hatred
running blood in my veins

way too much salt water in my heart
it's easy to flow with all the sadness
but ain't gonna tell me to go back to start
it makes me strive a little bit more
because we deserve each other

i never want to be afraid anymore
i want to fight and improve
without losing something
i can fight and improve
without losing some thing

how i appreciate i can finally give it
and feel like it's me being able to live
someone was always missing
someone was a part of me
it was the love in me - i couldn't give

lost in a moment
cars passing by
pitch black windows
the people cry

time goes on
but we’ve got to be strong
till whenever ends
whenever takes long

people call me weird
people call me great
if you’re born with a face
you don’t get to know me

the inside
for you such a haze

who would expect
the story to end like this
in which two lovers say
goodbye

for the greater good
for our inner processes
and still
reality hurts too much

but that is mine
oh sweetheart

my soulmate, you
still feel like my baby
but i have seen you grow
and i wanted this, too

i would say goodbye
for your happiness
that's how much i
have always loved you

i see stars
and far away
one’s shining bright
you

blinded means hell
but nobody can tell
how i feel when
you

can’t reach
can’t touch
just a little bit
too far to know

but i believe, i do
this is fully alive
recorded and true

the dream about you

there you said it
i like you because..
you’re sensitive
me? sensitive? an ever mask
but maybe
with you
maybe
i can finally put that **** off
and i like you because..
you really want to
help me too
face the darkness
end a career i don’t like
the so called doctor
never voted for a strike
even though i never earned a penny
like these argentinian doctors
they help them in hospitals, many
in poor districts with poor people
because they have nothing
some not even a foot to stand
and the doctors have everything
they think
as if they differ mentally
they think there’s a difference
between such rich and poor
see nothing else
so they always ask for more
but nowadays
for me
it are just temporary words
a weak or strong one doesn't exist
because in weak times
we all need a superman
inclusive the man in red suit
even Peter Pan
one that comes with high speed
still questioning yourself
how superman has got so strong
what does superman actually need?

and now i say it
that from the day i met you
i felt it was different
than all these times before
because i simply can't compare
and on my lucky day, you just opened the door
the door of my cage so severe
this beast in me finally free
it felt so incredibly weird
new things to see
unusual, too
that someone thinks
and thinks pretty much like you
all you told me, so sincere
still questioning myself
where has this been before?
a burning soul like yours
maybe because i always fell for the poor
while you were being superman
all these years, wandering
sauntering through a poor land
you slammed
into exotic beaches
that started with leeches and ended with peaches,
beautiful flowers and grass, green beeches
planted on the edge of the deepest oceans in my heart

a kind of addiction, a slow kind of dying
but a suicide wrapped in love and hope
powerful enough to blind your eyes
is certain not easy to ****

so hands high for the not coming reward
somewhere knowing it all, deep
we drew an unreachable line again
the inner voice simply won't let us see

ourselves, when it was all we really needed

on a honest night the darkness became oh so clear
we, decided to beat our illusional selves
now only stare at the broken mirror on the floor

realize the almighty changed into an insect
and the night into the day
this morning a new sunrise is born

my skin twinkles
sparkles white
on a red surface
then, out of sight

je n’ai pensé jamais
que a la fois toi et moi
avons choisi cette voie

je n’ai pensé jamais
que a la fois toi et moi
avons choisi le chemin serieux

je ne peux pas croire mais,
aussi je ne peux croire que tu existes

parce que je vis dans un rêve
tous les jours dans mon propre monde

alors, qu’importe?

la vie est le risque
et le risque est la vie

when life goes like mountaintops
painted in different colours
when heart and head seperate
and emotions in a rollercoaster
go up and down, in cars apart
how can i answer
such a simple question
as "how are you?"

te quiero porque eres como el viento fuerte
nunca aburrido, un poco loco y convincente
te quiero porque eres como el sentido de la vida
sorpresas todos los días, la oscuridad para sobrevivir
te quiero porque dentro de tu cuerpo está una luz rojiza
que me llena con energia, no sin pasiones ocultas
te quiero mucho
porque eres tú

looking into the sky
clouds go by, by and by
fast like a race car
the persons
who’re running for their lives
from close to far

all clear, but grey
how life is and will be
every day in another light
every day through another fight
fast to the bone
life is and will be

always waiting for a moon
a place where this word doesn't exist
soon
people are dreaming nights away
but in the darkness
that’s where they let me stay

we have spoken for so long
and forget it all
these hours are going faster
all that matters
in these times of company
the future; here we come

always waiting for a moon
a place where this word doesn't exist
soon
people are dreaming nights away
but in the darkness
let me stay

cigarette smoke slides down the negative spiral
if they still care
if they still mind
dead people in a dead world
i just want to see blood to strike down
the red flood all over me would be such a relieve
from the pain and torture
feel mother earth's tears
crying a tragic death
all the people fight against her tears, she shouldn't cry
but forget
to fight against her death

deze weg in het donker
vochtig van de regen
lang door het begin
omringt door zwart
behalve midden in

alleen loop ik, hem
en het einde is zoek
wie zal het terugvinden
wanneer begint het begin
of zal ik het verslinden

wanneer harten niet te controleren zijn
zijn monden het juist te vaak
maar luisteren, zullen zij nooit
bij het uitsteken van mijn stopbord
is het tegenovergestelde raak

zoals deze eindeloze weg
gespleten in twee

how could i be so stupid
how could i be so blind

two years ago
you already told me, here

the doubts for your love
your love for me

now you've been just another lie to me
just someone using the best of me

now then go ahead with the woman
move with her to... and be happy

but don't tell me excuses
you did not know, did not want to hurt me

you did

with the silence, anger you left behind
your mask is still aching inside of me

i wish to eliminate the layers
remove all that's now, still not clear

still not knowing that one day
i'll be done with this burden to bear

la primera vez que te vi
el tiempo se detuvo
nuestras miradas
lo único visible
sólo por un momento
como un rayo de luz
aislado del mundo
sólo tú y yo
encontrándonos
en otra dimensión
en la que vimos la luz
como una estrella fugaz
fuerte, brillante
olvidamos nuestro entorno
sólo para sentir
esta otra realidad
lleno de gotas
ven, ven
lluvia de energía positiva
toma mi mano
y caminamos a través
todos los sonidos
todos los pensamientos
apagado
sólo tus ojos
tan irreal
sólo por un momento
como un buceo en el mar
y supe
esto continuará

perdido en un sueño
sin sonambulismo
mi piel del nieve
con las hojas de hierba
tantas cosas
tanta gente
y yo
incapacitado
en silencio
nunca más
el silencio
y yo, ahora en paz
con mi verdadera amiga
cerré mi boca para siempre

the bark echoes through my heart
stucked in a cage, forever
judged at birth
he was just a little pup
while some others ran free
the egoism of human
and none understands
i hope you die neighbour!
call it a soul that lives there
while a lonely dog's bark contains much more
than the soul of such deadmans
in a life without compassion

free me
free me..

tengo miedo de escribir
a veces yo tambien
tengo miedo
de un papel vacío
de esta manera todo parece claro
no sé expresarme
este sentimiento de un náufrago
tengo miedo de estar perdido
demasiado

hay estas dudas
tantas dudas como horas
tengo miedo de hacer lo errado?
pero tengo que
eligir, eligir entre dos
los ángeles y demonios
luchan, de formas crueles
los demonios y ángeles
entonces no quieren.. mi paz?

en un papel vacío
de repente todo parece claro
no sé expresarme
y me doy cuenta de que es el tiempo
del deseo de certeza
porque no puede vivir en miedo
escuchando a las peleas interminables
debido al blanco y *****
no más puedo vivir

a little bird sings
in the white moonlight
its tree branch swings
and the singer at night
turns into stone
then dust

the world suffocating
in this dark substance
could it be a must
of all that once was beautiful
turns into anger
sad lust

betrayed by life
the cut of a knive
stuck in the heart
and it falls apart

no hunger, no food
no stars, no night
fade away darkness
and become the light

it’s impossible
what’s possible
when you can’t see
a ******* thing

through glasses of loneliness
there’s only the nothing
can’t know what’s real
without anything to feel

why do my ears hear but not listen
everyone around me seems so calm
what's the actual reason for that
i live in this world of terror
it's a chaos in my head
games and smartphones
till you're finally dead

the pills people take
problems that i make
for something they call god sake
i see them all running
from train to train
from brain to brain
all eyes upon me
my dear pain
feeling crazy and insane

and working for what
a certain dead rat
on the corner of the street
strangers that i meet
influence of dead flowers
with misleading powers
i just wanna go away
leave me alone; okay

slayer saves my body
from smashing everything down
but who saves my mind
i frown
psychologist that doesn't reply
just another ****** institution
to unleash all my frustration?
i don't have to go to jail
even though the isolation cell
seems to be a perfect trail

if this poem hasn't structure
well it won't be me to give a ****
welcome in my crazy mind
now run over me with your truck
keep me under your control
so at the end of the day
smoking **** will be my goal
or something else to forget
stress and panic in hell

how i feel
how i fell
how i always have felt

sure something is there, behind me

she shows me her fist
the *******
but i don't see a thing
she shows me her belly
her soft lips in my neck
but i don't feel a thing
she says i love you..
do something for me?
but i don't hear a thing

she reaches out her hand
might be a last goodbye
but besides all apps
i can not touch something
and nothing can touch me
neither love nor life

becoming the machine
an immortal thing
saying
i admire
the machine

swimming through my head
searching for the words you said
sometimes upwards, you try to swim
but i’ll always push back
when you wanna dim

why you’re so far away
all these things we’ve to pay
why can’t we be together in the rain
or just somewhere else, somewhere
on a hell-bound train?

it seems that’s the place to be
at least for us, not totally free
why do we deserve this
i’m asking myself all the time,
but i know today it’s fine

you’re living in my head
and also tomorrow won´t be bad
as you keep swimming around
i´ll prove it, once i’m a fish too
i´ll prove, you’ll be found

een meisje wilt iets
na een feest
slapen bij jou
want ze is nog nooit
zo ver weg geweest

aan jouw zijde sta ik
en met meelevend hart
zei je 'dat is goed'
op dat moment zei ik
'goodbye' to my mood

ik hou me groot
ik hou mijn mond
terwijl ik wil zakken
me laten vallen
op de grond

als van binnen
een demoon of meer
mij aan het verslinden zijn
negatief van de pijn
ik voel me klein

dat het goed is, zei je
tegen wat?
bij mijn ex had ik hier
nooit last van
geen moeite mee gehad

nu graaf ik dan misschien
elke keer mijn graf
maar dit hier was een droom
gebroken wakker
is niet iets dat ik mezelf gaf

en ik weet niet wat te zeggen
weet niet wat ik moet doen

misschien is jouw hart goed
maar zo is onze ****
laat het de onze blijven
niet verpesten door een heks

rampscenarios om te overleven
bedrogen door eigen boven kamer
maar om **** niet erger te maken
is het soms beter te zwijgen

omdat je de 'ja' hebt
maar 'nee' nog **** krijgen

ocean of misery
power and money
it's always the same
life
vague
that all is fake
at least it seems to
be
honestly
let the steaming mist
slowly fade away

they can be happy
don't realize much
about all that's happening
in this sickened world
drinking and partying
just living your life
not giving a single ****
when the world dies
not giving a single ****
about another persons life

they can not be happy
a reason they don't have
nagging and crying
running in circles
is that possibly what you want
and don't know how to change
'we live a life in vain anyway'
but what do you know about fighting
have you ever fought for a certain life?

so it's sad to notice
from a distance
they only care, care
about their own world
there's nothing else to see
living in their locked cage
because they never looked
for the redeemer, the key

Lekker alles voor zoete koek blijven slikken tot het zich een aan elkaar gekleefd mengsel vormt, een vastzittende brok in de keel waarin men langzaam, in stokkende adem, stikt..

soms een erg tegenstrijdig gevoel
gelukkig zijn
terwijl je weet hoeveel mensen
er wegkwijnen van de pijn
medeleven, empathie
houden mijn lach nu tegen
heeft niks te maken met verlegen
of depressie
nee, het zijn al deze andere levens
die ik altijd maar dichtbij voel, zie
een gift zou je zeggen?
als iemand de zwaarte ervan begreep
als ik het nu eens op tafel kon leggen

mijn medemens heb ik tot egoïst bekroond
omdat men in mijn ogen
te weinig interesse in elkaar toont
kijken alleen naar zichzelf of scherm
zoemen rustig mee in de zwerm
tot ik mijn mond open trek
verschijnt er plotseling een blinde vlek
noemen ze me gek..
willen de waarheid niet onder ogen zien
ik zeg ze: je kan altijd meer geven of doen
al geef je miljoen keer die zelfde zoen
moet de waarde er dan vanaf gaan?
of kan men gewoon blijven genieten
in dit bestaan
meer dan 'normaal' aan elkaar geven
meer dan deze maatschappij
*** graag ik dat altijd al had willen beleven

the dominant mind of sadness
it's 3 am and i still havent had rest
thinking about words and actions
who and what is really mine
and why does it matter so much
your anesthetic touch
what can i become, who's me
an ever lost and tired soul searching
all by myself, i need to do something
but i'm waiting for the day
i have the strenght to release myself
the one that's me, be happy
but waiting and hoping is bad
just like stress of the sensitive and
death, in a self destructive brain

wolken voor de sterrenregen
als zij, houden van geheimen
een plek om te schuilen
bij zij die gelukkig zijn
geluk op een groot podium

preocupando por ti
el sentimiento del disturbio
con un poco de temor

ya no me importa mucho
es que no tengo ganas de sentir
pero lo que sí me importa

esperando que no cayes
nunca más
porque quiero ver tu camino a la luz

aunque no te interesa la senda que tomo yo
que estoy mejorando mi alma, mi vida
otras chicas, por favor dejame en paz

te odio
pero te amo

sits in darkness
sweating a bloodbath
teardrops from my eager eyes
can't control the universe
in a world unknown
my broken body
cares
swims in black lakes
searches for the shore
tiresome
there are fireflies
between a billion lies
sparkle upon the water
call them, call them
but say nothing more
there are secrets between
these hydrogen atoms
hidden, very well

ik ben klaar
er helemaal klaar mee
klaar met deze maatschappij
klaar met het zgn 'vrij'
klaar met mezelf zijn
klaar met de maskers
klaar met andermans pijn
klaar met het 'geluk' van iedereen
klaar met herhalend onbegrip
klaar met de dip na dip
klaar met dit met stress gevulde lichaam
klaar met elke kortdurende traan
klaar met zorgen, de toegevoegde ellende
klaar met hoop bewaren
klaar met niets doen, de boel laten varen
klaar met blij moeten zijn, lachen
klaar met de negatieve spiraal
klaar met het gevoel van abnormaal
klaar met al het verderf op de wereld
klaar met eeuwige eenzaamheid
klaar met depressiviteit
klaar met studeren en regels
klaar met de ontevredenheid
klaar met klaar, moeten komen
klaar met een 'leuke' baan vinden
klaar met vaarwel en weer binden
klaar met deze ruimte, het bed
klaar met denken dat ik het wel red
klaar met de harteloosheid
klaar met boosheid en nijd
klaar met wakker liggen
klaar met deze kou
klaar met jou
klaar met de grauwe luchten
klaar met mijn diepste zuchten
klaar met dierenmishandeling
klaar met angstzaaierij
klaar met de doorzetterij
klaar met alle competitie
klaar met twijfelen, niet weten wat
klaar met vergeten, alles wat ik had
klaar met het wantrouwen
klaar met de zware schouderlast
klaar met elke oversekste gast
klaar met verdoofd zijn
klaar met mensen, egoisten
klaar met narcisten en racisten
klaar met de gevoeligheid
klaar met slimme meid
klaar met de druk(te)
klaar met strijden
klaar met lijden
klaar.

here the flock of my poems
about everything i see
i write to release my soul
unleash me from reality

zwemmend in een zwart meer
de stilte houdt van me
de wereld houdt me
in zijn greep
een pijn
niemand zal begrijpen
accepteer maar
meisje
zoekt vervanging
vindt vervanging
van leegte
waar ik wil drijven
op het zwarte meer
mijn rug slechts een trap
voor zij die er in zijn gevallen
maar laat mij zinken
laat me maar
in deze koude nacht
vol onbegrip, steken van leven
wachtend op een ladder naar de maan
mijn hand reikt uit

taking possesion of the space
it's all about you
in conversations
in actions, the do

some just feel helplessness
by commitments, cohesion
putting your ego higher
above the compasssion

seems not so easy for everyone
and maybe that's actually fine
if you can still think about another
without to erase the written line

between ego and men
take your space, your luck
but don't go crazy with one of the two
you'll see, you get stuck

you have to be tough
they said
you have to be strong
they said
now
we have grown cold
now
we have become stone
but forgotten
pushed into a hole
to feel - sanity
the destiny of humanity

these days felt so good
it should have been
something you got
so badly i wanted
so manly you gave
so sadly i miss
now you are gone
i just can't stop thinking
about the look in your eyes
when you said goodbye
the anger in your words
about your past, no dad
the warmth of your hands
when we strolled the streets
why would you give me
why would you like to stay longer
send me messages about coming over
when you do not want to see me
another day
i will try to let you fade away
each time you push me into silence
i just wish i could understand your game
but nobody is going to tell me
so i can only guess
and try to forget

it just does not feel right

what do you know about love
the craving, the salvation, the pain
what do you know about sensitivity
the feel of an unannounced last kiss
what do you know about desperation
a bleeding fist against a cold wall

what do you know about loneliness
a lost black cat between angry dogs
what do you know about gravity
the entire sun coming down on you
what do you know about sadness
a tear sunken in a lavender pilow

what do you know about loss
a dove that lost its feets to land
do you care? and why
why would you
if it's not there to nothing anyways

walk the walk
my earplugs in
waiting
in my nowhere land

like a bullet
shocked by the sound
i hear something
then turn myself around

green eyes
the two stare at me
open and wide
glittering in the sun

dark hair
one for one
the wind blows, wild
to me complete slow motion

waiting
for my mind to come
i see the open and close
what did he ask again?

i can't think
i don't know what to say
where am I when needed?
i just walked away..