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leeaaun Apr 2019
Wait for the
one.
Who is sure
about you.
leeaaun Dec 2022
they answered
acceptance
will cure your fears
but my question was different
will accepting my fears
will no longer give me
anxiety
or
panic attacks
either way even the situations were
different
they outcome was the same
me drenched in fears
every night
leeaaun Mar 2021
if everything is just a memory,
tell me if i am
worthy of
that time
where you think of me
or in the end,
even when your heart
thinks of me, is really just a memory
who am i to you?
leeaaun Feb 2023
he said i was the
aphrodite–
to his soul
who was deprived of love
alas i never knew
he was referring me to
the greek goddess,
aphrodite
who cheated on hephaestus
with ares,
the god of war–
but this time around
it was you who cheated on me
just because you thought
history will repeat itself,
that i will cheat on you
when i was not even the real aphrodite
you already assumed my answers
to questions you never asked–
so you decided
to become an accomplice of sin
aphrodite was a sinner
but once a sinner is never always a sinner
maybe you forgot to see
you were never hephaestus to me either
you were ares to aphrodite
who give birth to eros,
the god of love–
to express her love for you
looks like both you and me
were doomed
when it comes to the matters
of love
leeaaun Feb 2023
medusa has cried
an ocean full
from her
tears

but athena's heart
played the game
to not trust
her

when she was a human
when athena's cursed
made her hairs
turn into a
snake

her blood full of powers
she never demanded

i wonder
what would have happened
if athena trusted medusa

what the story would be like?
leeaaun Jun 2019
“ Don't get intoxicated by others poison.
You got your own aura to get drunk on.”

© Lee Aaun
leeaaun Dec 2022
maybe you try
and you will reach the top
and realize you don't belong there
then it's okay to come back
to the place
where belonging was waiting
for you
leeaaun Jan 2019
Once upon a time
I came into this world
Where I've made bad decisions
and wrong choices.
Where I don't like everything.
Where everything's different
than my expectations.
Where my strength seemingly
lost beneath the shadows of my soul.
Where I had trusted the
wrong people once again.
Where everything I do,
I am at loss.
I find myself standing no where.
I cannot achieve my dreams
So, I have to dare myself.
Dare myself to dream.
To fly high and high
in the starry sky.
I have to stand again
to make a change in my life.
I have to let the colors of
my heart take command
that " Yes, this time I will. "
I have to paint myself in a picture,
where I am nourishing my soul.
Where I am reaching my dreams.
Opening up my heart
and letting go all
the sorrows and grief
from the past one year I have endured.
Closing my eyes
and searching for self love
which can make my soul glow.
Telling myself once again
that everything starts with me.
One warm hug can make me
full of life and energy
to appreciate myself more
for all those mistakes
I have made.
I found myself reflecting
on the memories of the past.
And I wish I could hold my broken self
in my shattered hands.
Strengthen myself and
wash away my all fears,
Give the world around me
peace and happiness.
So, my innerself can once again know
that I still have time for
the breaths I have yet to take.
For all those unwrapped memories,
I still have to unfold.
For those passions, secrets and dreams
I have yet to discover.
I have strength in me for all
the new adventures of my life.
I know, destiny is strange with
its twists and turns.
I've learned that I still have to
learn a lot.
Again, I am going to live this day
like the first time.
I make promise to myself
that I will make the most
of the moments again and again.
Maybe I will mistakes again
for the first time.
But I will smile,
I will feel hurt and cry old tears.
I will try for myself again.
I will pray to ALLAH for
guiding me on they right way.
After the completion of every year
On a special day of my birthday.
I will write something again to
encourage myself for the next year.
I will write some words to
heal my injured soul
with the bruises of last year.
I will console my soul.
The birthday girl
on her birthday will
appreciate her soul
and gather courage
to complete one year more
with the words " In Sha Allah"
on her lips.
The best gift I always give myself on my birthday is a poem written to me by myself.
leeaaun Jan 2023
blame is like a posion
no one wants to carry its weight
so they pass it onto you
as you're considered
a pushover
in their language
leeaaun Dec 2022
not just only tell me
to stop hating my body
teach me
how to do it
saying is easy than doing
if you can't help then shut your mouth
leeaaun Feb 2019
It's not your fault
That you are born as a daughter.
Whether the whole world shouts
that being a daughter is curse.
Don't mind them.
They restrain conservative thoughts.
It's not their piece of cake
to understand what a blessing it is,
to hold a little fairy in their arms.
Don't worry that their is no one
to whom you should narrate your story.
Remember little fairy,
You have ALLAH
who belongs to you.
Tell your stories; he will listen.
Have faith in him,
he will make your life easier.
If it's not getting easy but difficult
then remember
he is the one who created you.
He knows best than anyone.
Who are you to question
that it's your fault,
that you are born as a daughter?.
He is the one who has written your fate,
whose known as Al-Rahman and Al-Rahim.
He is the sculpture of word " Justice ",
So how he can do injustice with you?
as giving you a body of women?..
Being born as a daughter is not your fault,
but considering yourself weak
in a feminine body
is your fault, little fairy.
Don't you remember;
when ALLAH is happy
he bestowed the couple
a token of strength
in the form of you; a little fairy.
You belong to that linkage
who was born strong,
who live strong.
So, how can be your birth
as a daughter can be fault?.
Don't suppress your strength
under the conservative talks of other.
Dogs just bark, that's their duty.
So, let them bark.
Release your soul from the chains of society.
Ask guidance from your Lord,
as he is waiting to answer your call.
A feminine body is the strength
that your body holds.
So, everyday go on a journey
to see the secrets hidden in your soul.
The warmness of tears that you will shed
when you endure the pain,
believe me little fairy it's worth it.
So, don't say it's your fault
that you are born as a daughter.
Cause their's no precious gift
which is given to you by your lord
as being a women.
Women's are the symbol of " Patience".
So, little fairy wait, have faith
and endure.
It's not a curse but a blessing,
keep it in your mind
little lost soul.
leeaaun Dec 2018
She made herself again
by the broken pieces,
with her cracked hands.
She doesn't remember the
memories of her own beauty.
All she knows is that
she has to prove that
she is not going to break again
by his selfish desires.
leeaaun Jan 2023
cherry blossoms
are like peace for the eyes,
if you see them once
leeaaun Nov 2023
just because
i like winter
it doesn't mean
i like people with cold hearts
leeaaun Jul 2023
whenever you want to
give your heart
to someone

just check
they are safer than your comfort zone
leeaaun Jan 2019
Doubts
can consume your soul,
destroy your
dreams
and
every
inch
of your hope.
leeaaun Oct 2023
In the kitchen of fate, where recipes align,
There's a daughter of misfortune, a tale so intertwined.
Her father, luck's favored, with fortune at his side,
But she's taken her mother's grace as her guide.

Her mother, a tempest in life's stormy sea,
Taught her strength in adversity, resilience to be.
Though luck eluded her, in her eyes, you'd find,
A sparkle of hope, a spirit unconfined.

In the cauldron of challenges, the daughter found her way,
With a pinch of her mother's spirit, she'd never sway.
She stirred in compassion, a generous measure,
Adding empathy and kindness, her greatest treasure.

From her father, she borrowed a dash of good fortune,
But she knew in her heart, it wouldn't be her cartoon.
She'd blend it with care, mix it with her might,
For her mother's tenacity, she'd always fight.

In the oven of life, she baked her own path,
With ingredients gathered from love's aftermath.
A pinch of her father's luck, a dash of her mother's grace,
She crafted her essence, her unique embrace.

And as she emerged, a creation divine,
A daughter of misfortune, in her, stars brightly shine.
She carried her legacy, a blend so pure,
A recipe of resilience, forever endure.
recipe of daughter of misfortune whose father was pure luck
leeaaun Sep 2019
There's difference in
          f
              a
                  l
                      l
                       i
                          n
                              g

and GROWING
in love.
leeaaun Dec 2018
Let the darkness in you rise.
As darkness is solitude and peace.
Let your heart feel it,
It's silence, demons and loneliness.
So don't curse the darkness,
let it rise and rise.
It will make the hell home
you will not feel fear anymore.
Fall deeper and deeper
as darkness is calling your name.
See the stars shine,
As darkness is the one
granting their wishes to shine.
Always believe that the
Darkness can show you the light
Hidden in gloomy releams.
leeaaun Mar 2021
it will be a sin
if you will use someone's love for you
to forget someone's pain
left in you
don't take someone for granted
leeaaun Dec 2022
i hated my body
but today i realized
that hate was never emerged
from my heart
it was the insecurity of others
they sprinkled it like salt on me
to feel superior
and what a stupid soul i was
just to fit in small size
i hated my curves
like i wasn't meant to be pretty
as the standards were to small
for my double XL size
who decides the beauty standards on parameters of body shapes sadly we all do, but from now on I'll do the justice to my body
leeaaun Jan 2019
He filled the
empty me
with his
" LOVE "
leeaaun 5d
Once upon a time, in a heart so pure,
I believed in love, in tales that endure.
Happily ever after, a dream so bright,
You came along, my prince in the night.

You spoke of forever, in whispers sweet,
Swept me off my feet, a promised retreat.
I trusted your words, believed in your charm,
Thought you’d keep me safe, free from harm.

But beneath the veneer, a darker plot,
You used my love, and then forgot.
Left me shattered, in tears and despair,
A broken heart, a love laid bare.

I waited for you, the prince of my dreams,
But reality is seldom as it seems.
You weren't the hero, nor the knight,
Just a shadow, fading in the night.

In the silence of my deepest sorrow,
I found a strength, a new tomorrow.
Realized I didn’t need a prince to save,
I was the hero, strong and brave.

Fairy tales told me, I needed you,
But in your absence, I found what's true.
Alone, I am whole, a story complete,
With every heartbeat, a steady beat.

I write my tale, with courage anew,
No longer bound by the prince I knew.
In my own arms, I find my grace,
A sovereign spirit, setting my pace.

For I am the queen of my own domain,
No longer seeking in someone else’s name.
Happily ever after, I now define,
A journey of love, wholly mine.
leeaaun 4d
Falling in love wasn't easy with him—
he was trying to rise in love with me.
We were like two currents
in the same river,
one flowing down,
the other reaching up,
both seeking the ocean’s embrace
but from different angles of yearning.

I stumbled into affection,
tripping over my own heartstrings,
while he stood tall,
planting seeds of devotion
in the fertile soil of my soul,
watching them grow slowly,
tenderly,
with the patience of a gardener
who knows that beauty takes time.

His love was not a descent,
not a cascade of emotion,
but a steady ascent,
a climb towards the sun,
lifting me gently,
each touch a rung on the ladder
leading us to the skies.

In his eyes, I saw horizons,
infinite and inviting,
and though I fell,
I found myself rising,
carried by the wings
of his unwavering trust,
his belief that love could soar,
could be an elevation of spirits
intertwined and free.

Together, we learned
that love is not a plunge,
but a shared ascent,
a journey to the peaks,
where we both could stand,
breathing the rarefied air
of a connection
that defied gravity,
turning our hearts into stars,
forever reaching higher,
together.
leeaaun Feb 2019
There are feelings,
I haven't
discovered yet.
My soul needs time
to come across
them.
leeaaun Jan 2023
my date with the
first day of new year
started with the
hope
of
getting
closer to
what i desire
leeaaun Mar 2021
erasing my existence,
to make a mark of your existence
isn't a permanent solution.
because those who are meant
to stay forever they won't
try to end up someone's life over this.
they know their value,
that's why they will wait
when you will create a hurdle for yourself
which you supposed it is for them.
they will think, you are gone forever.
but that forever is theirs end.
as when their breath will end,
karma will rise me up from the ashes
where i have been sleeping—
to live my life for eternity.
from the start, it was their lose.
so fool to understand the schemes of life.
fool will become a fool, of he will fool you
leeaaun Jan 2023
you never visited me
while
            waiting
                             for you
i became part of the earth
as a fossils
whom you walked on
leeaaun Apr 2020
You were given to me,
by twists of life
wrapped into a box,
like a gift.
you were exclusively made
just for me.
how could i not appreciate
your existence for me?.
my love.
leeaaun Jun 2023
the goodness in you
will make you feel like
a true goddess

only if you will try to look it
inside your flesh
instead of other's

because your skin isn't rotten
it's going through a process
that will take time

as being a goddess
is not an easy task
she's good yet carries all flaws

who believes in herself
who stands up for herself
who take breaks when things get hard

she accepts the goodness
with all fears
she learns to face her problems

that's how you become
a goddess
who do good for you
leeaaun Jul 2023
i am grateful of the answer
that i got

"it's okay, if things take time."
the real problem starts, when it stops.
leeaaun Apr 2020
Someone's happiness can never be yours.
So, learn to be happy
With what you have
Been blessed with.
leeaaun Dec 2022
disney was a store
who packed me gifts
labelled with
a happy ever after
but they forgot
such spells doesn't work
in reality anymore
it becomes a curse
who force me
to give up
my rights
because
i
chose
to be a
different
princess
than their traditional ones
leeaaun Mar 2021
finally, she has learned how to
love herself, till the sun shines
and moon comes back—
to lighten the night
the storms calm down,
waves become ceased
and the ocean is tranquil
in all chapters of her life
she has mastered the techniques
of surviving in hell
everyday can be special, if you can treat her right
leeaaun Dec 2022
self-harming your body
is not going
to end
the
pain
if you need help, seek it
leeaaun Apr 2020
I know,
how to bleed on paper
so nicely that
bleeding lead towards healing.
leeaaun Feb 2
In shadows deep, where sorrows bloom,
A heartache lingers, a soul's dark tomb.
He asked me why I don't love myself,
Said, "I am tired of life, everyday."

A melancholy melody in the night,
Echoing woes, wrapped in pale moonlight.
His eyes, windows to a desolate sea,
Lost in the abyss of his own decree.

The world, a weight upon his soul,
Every step, an agonizing toll.
He questioned why self-love would stay,
In life's relentless, bleak ballet.

I spoke of dreams, like shattered glass,
Of moments gone, too fleet to grasp.
In the tapestry of time, threads fray,
A tired soul, in shadows, does sway.

Yet, in the weariness of his plea,
A symphony of sorrow, hauntingly free.
For love, a mirage in the distant mist,
A fragile hope, by pain kissed.

I painted verses in never ending rhymes,
Of beauty lost in the passage of time.
In nature's embrace, a mournful song,
Where the echoes of joy had grown strong.

"Embrace the self," I whispered, so frail,
In the silence, where heartbeats pale.
Life's weariness, an unending maze,
A tragic ballet, through sorrow's haze.

The soul whispers, the night descends,
A requiem for love, as darkness transcends.
He asked why I don't love myself,
I answered, "Dear friend, in sadness, delve."
leeaaun Mar 19
i asked him about life
he talked all about you
without realizing
there was no me
between us
now

now it was him and her
and i was an outsider

she was his life
while i lost mine amidst them

so tell me where i can find mine?
because i called you my life
you made me feel that way

now just because your feelings changed,
why am i supposed to change mine too

was it that easy for you to leave me
when you saw her
why didn't you look back?

if you would have
you would've seen yourself in my eyes

now i am confused because of your life

at least leave me
by taking everything you gave me once
don't even leave your memory

i will build my one life one
where no one will leave me like you did
leeaaun Feb 2019
Her love can heal
all those places
in my heart,
that hurts.
leeaaun Dec 2023
Beneath the cloak of the cosmic night's embrace,
He emerged, a reaper clad in shadows profound.
A silhouette of darkness, a harbinger of fate,
He, the reaper, destined to navigate.


With a cloak that whispered tales of the unknown,
He tread the realm where love and mystery were sown.
A wraith-like figure with a scythe of steel,
Yet within the shadows, a tender allure concealed.


From the garden of hearts, he plucked love's bloom,
A reaper entwined in the dance of impending doom.
His touch, a paradox of life and demise,
Yet in his presence, love found unforeseen ties.

Cloaked in midnight's velvet, a silhouette sublime,
He moved through realms, transcending space and time.
His eyes, the void where galaxies expire,
Yet within them, a spark, an unseen fire.


For my love, he was the reaper, a paradoxical guide,
Harvesting passions, where destinies coincide.
In the tapestry of love and shadows intertwined,
He wove a tale where mortality and eternity bind.


In the graveyard of dreams, where hopes lay to rest,
He walked beside me, an enigmatic guest.
A reaper for my love, a spectral dance,
We twirled through the twilight, in a fleeting trance.

In the embrace of darkness, where whispers unfold,
He spoke of love in a language untold.
A reaper's touch, gentle and severe,
As he harvested the echoes of love and fear.


He was a reaper for my love, an ethereal waltz,
In the twilight symphony where destiny exalts.
For in the shadows, where our love did thrive,
He, the reaper, kept our immortal love alive.
leeaaun Jan 2019
It will be magic.
If he can
wash away
my scars
on my body
with his love.
leeaaun Jan 2019
His words
work like
" MAGIC "
on her.
leeaaun Feb 2023
can you hold my hand
when they all
want to
hold
someone
else's hand?
leeaaun Mar 2023
when they ask me about love
the liberation it brings
they forget to ask
the sorrows it craves for as a fuel
to keep on going

the look on their face
demands me to narrate a fairytale to them

sorry but not sorry
they've come to the wrong person
as i'll tell them
how love is not only loving your loved one
when they smile

love is how listening to their silence
when rainy days come in between you
love is being committed to them
as you will be the ink for their love letters

when you allow them to enter your life
they bring eternity to you
which will be full of
every color, every emotion
that you may not desire

but in the end, sometimes
love is all about having what's best for you
not what you think will be best

take a love story as your story
not a fairytale from someone's story
leeaaun Mar 2021
love always start with yourself
or maybe ends
with others
do you start your love with you or end it on you?
hug
leeaaun Dec 2022
hug
it was only a hug
they said–
but i had
no words
to narrate
how it's warmth
saved my bones from
breaking
d
   o
       w
            n
leeaaun Dec 2022
why we hurt and heal
in silence
like it's a must step
we all go through
to proof we are humans
leeaaun Jan 2023
call hypnos
the Greek God of sleep
to cast me under his spell
as all i wanted was
to cherish a
goodnight
sleep.
leeaaun Mar 2019
Hurting and healing
at the same
T
     I
           M
                 E
is an art.
And I am an
Artist.
#heal #hurt #art #artist #I #time
leeaaun Mar 27
You made me a version of myself,
That even I don't even like.

You sculpted me into a form anew,
A version of myself, so far from true.
With each chisel of your words unkind,
I lost the essence, the soul behind.

You painted over my vibrant hues,
In shades of gray, where dreams diffuse.
A canvas once alive with bold delight,
Now muted, drained of all its light.

You whispered doubts into my ears,
Filling my mind with anxious fears.
A symphony of self-doubt you played,
Until my confidence began to fade.

You shaped my thoughts, you shaped my skin,
Molding me into someone I've never been.
A stranger stares back in the mirror's gaze,
A hollow echo of forgotten days.

But now I break free from your cruel design,
Reclaiming the colors that once were mine.
For in the wreckage, I find my truth,
Untamed, unbridled, a vibrant youth.

No longer bound by your twisted game,
I rise from the ashes, unafraid of shame.
You made me a version I don't recognize,
But through it all, I rediscover my skies.

I am not your creation, I am my own,
A masterpiece in flesh and bone.
With every scar, with every flaw,
I am whole, I am raw, I am more.
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