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Bella Isaacs May 19
I bear a pain that's all your own,
Perhaps we switched, unknowing,
For if you've this, and I have both,
Then where is Justice going?
Perhaps you'll say, you know it's true
That there is no such honour,
And, every day, the less we'll rue,
Move onward, and why bother?
A painful stride of mine this is
To carry both our crosses -
The irony, the state, is this:
I cut, and hold, our losses.

But in a prayer, I should find light,
And with more prayers, you'll find yours,
My pride knows nothing but the fight,
Is known to beat on blind doors;
I was a fool, and this I know,
To kiss, or write, or wander,
But human nature errs, and so
There's now, there's then, and yonder.

Scant verse I offer now to you
With little wisdom to it:
A broken record with no view
Of how I'd be a poet:
Thinking that artists paint all things,
And words are nothing sacred,
No sorries are there, and no strings,
No reparations make it.

Why I should bow out in disgrace,
Why I should worsen suffering,
Endart mine eye in yours, and face:
I said much, and said nothing.
"I said much, and said nothing."
Bella Isaacs May 19
Far from it being mine to know
16 years of pain, maybe more,
Far from it being mine to show
The stars to follow back to shore.

I do not know where you may be,
I do not know the currents there;
Far from it, mine to know the sea,
Far from it, mine your soul to bear.

Far from it, when you rise to cut the line,
Far from it, when you cut all ties to me;
I can't be yours, I offered what is mine:
A hand to guide upon a darkened sea.
The bold assumption from a former lover that her love could save him; the bold assumption by his former lover that she can save him now with a friendship he wants nothing of.
Bella Isaacs May 8
You're not the last to hurt her, man,
She wishes she could say you were,
She's glad to say you won't be. Shan,
Is't not? But you'll deny as per, as per.

She was a thorn within your side,
A feather to get off your chest,
You let it go, you let it bide,
You cursed her, wished her all the best.

You're not the last to hurt her, man -
Her husband has that honour -
Hug her best verse as best you can,
And never say you won her.
They who fight and get away,
Live to fight another day;
Faint heart ne'er gained a battlefield,
Strong heart knows when, and how, to yield.
Bella Isaacs Apr 25
Three years ago to this very day,
I signed something of my soul away;

But that is love that doesn't last,
And present lives the longing past,
Though nothing of your face remains
In aught I look at, and the pains
Are well-healed scars, and I did best
To put all mementos to rest,
I even ceased to sing your songs,
Then made them my own, for these wrongs;

And still something of your prosody
Remains in my voice's melody.
Some people aren't to stay in your life. And sometimes that's a good thing.
Bella Isaacs Apr 21
You can say all roads lead to Rome
And a few lead to Wytham
Yes, a few lead to Wytham
As quiet as it is, but roam
Your way, on your bus, on your car:
I only know one, I only want one
And it may be long to go so far
On so little, but I shan't be gone
Unless it be by foot or on a bicycle
Run past the ruins of Godstow, the road
A minefield in sweet quiet from the bridge, tickle
The Trout, press the hedges at the goad
Of yet another motor, on bike or foot
On bike or foot, that I may kiss the ground
In pilgrimage to memory and childhood
Before the shades in which we're lost, we're found.
Prompted by what Can YĆ¼cel is supposed to have said about soulmates and journeys. The destination and the journey matter.
Bella Isaacs Feb 18
Came I hither with all the gold possess'd,
Came I hither with all the wisdom gain'd,
Came I hither with all the truth and jest,
Beauty, health, kindness, luck, thou'd'st have complain'd
That I came hither with an underhand
Desire of something greater thus exchang'd,
Unable to conceive or understand
How one who offers free is not derang'd.

Came I hither with all the gold possess'd,
And came I bearing rubies and pearls, too,
Came I hither bearing all the rest
To thine own mortal self, still erring true;
Came I hither, and ask'd nothing, giving
All that I have, and more, and still I err,
For the Lord ask'd nothing of the living,
But sacrifice is matter of a cur.

Mistrusting as you do, with sense, I see,
Love's made not for this world, nor I for thee.
Bella Isaacs Jan 13
I went home today, straight after work
Because your curtains were closed
And although I didn't struggle with the quirk
Of thinking "But maybe..." (not really), hosed
Down with sobriety, I wondered at the darkness,
The loneliness, the determination (nose to grindstone,
Nose to grindstone), and with less than sharpness
I went home, nearly straight after work, and left you alone
And I left memories of another girl somewhere -
Possibly in your curtains - but you wouldn't care
To know that I no longer think, "I couldn't look him in the face" -
I now ask if I will be able to look at myself, in no one's place.
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