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I started my own company
I wrote a book
I got a dog who helps everyday
I moved out on my own
I have a really good job

But despite that I still miss you
Even though I'm grateful I agreed
That October morning
I do sometimes wonder
How life would change

If we never split at all?
It was night like the others
Everyone asleep
But the one who mind spiraled
So many times it went further in that darkness
Creeping closer to the edge of the cliff

A small voice begged for forgiveness
A single hand reaching out
"I have work, Goodnight"

The world fell
Air rushing
And the edge
Getting further from view

Only afterwards was damage realized
But would the same outcome happen
If time repeated
Or would it change

For a funeral or a second chance?
I thought I was better

Accepting that time
Forced me to move on
Accepting that life
Had finally gave me a break

A break from pain
And misery
And heartache

I thought I was better

Being able to speak your name
The small uncontrollable smile
That always crosses my lips
Warming my heart
Being able to remember our time with fondness

But as soft as you memory is to me
The razor edges cut deep
The longing for your ghost
To not be a ghost anymore

Is this my curse
Forever longing one
That settled for those that punish him
Despite knowing what love really is?
Either come or go, but staying in limbo is not helping either soul in lifetimes like these Yin.
For a moment
A blink of the eye
The beat of the heart
Just for that instance

Show me what love is
Please remind me
What it felt like
To be truely loved
My brain was turned on
The body refusing to work

After a night of trying to heal
The mind longing for the past

The sludge making moving impossible
The brain barely functioning

Now it runs miles
Every thought and idea
At the tips of my fingertips
So much to do
Little time to do it
Run
Don't think
Just

Hit the wall of exhaustion
After a few shots of espresso

But at least I got move
Slightly better then before
It started out simple
Innocent, if you will
It was cold that morning
   And the next
        And the one after that
            And the following one

"I'm cold"
"Moisture wicking"
"Keeps the sun off"
What lie shall I say today?

It started out innocently
To the untrained eyes

Now they ask
How I survive?
How can I bare the heat?
How do I not melt?

"Best foot forward
You represent now
Be mindful of your look"

Would I still look presentable
If you saw the battles
I lost against my own self
Would that show strength and courage?

Or would I be shunned once more,
For things I could not control
And memories that linger at night
Would you care if I lie once more?
She sits, knees down,
In practiced posture.

Grounded and calm.

Her curled fingers
Rest on her thighs.

Precise.
Impervious.
Immovable.
Her own.


In her smile,
A wisp on the wings
Slowly unfurls,
In a whirl
Of wise and winding

Mischief.


As honey'd tones
Roll from her maw,
I am humbled.
Hanging.
Enchanted.
Enthralled.

Lucky to be involved.


And in her every word
There is a piece of her
Unseen,
Unheard,
But no less present.

Pure effervescence.

On all terms,
In her way,
Effortless
And pleasant.


Purposeful, she;
Spinner of tales.
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