i’ve given you so much of my time
and so much of my effort
i’ve treated you as best as i can
i’ve been understanding and caring
i’ve given you my all

i built up expectations
without even realizing it
and now i’m being let down
slowly

these past years
all i’ve wanted
is to know what it’s like to love you
and i know now

loving you is incredible
it’s like a breath of the freshest air
like a popsicle on a summer day
like listening to your favorite song

loving you is wild
it’s like speeding on a backroad
like sneaking out at midnight
like every animal in nature  

but loving you came with a price
it came with plans that were never completed
with “i love you’s” that weren’t returned
with texts that weren’t answered for hours

but loving you has been
the best decision i’ve ever made
and i’m going to keep doing it
until you break my heart in two

because that’s just who i am
and who i am loves you.

tonight i found out
that the worst i had assumed
actually happened

i don’t remember it
i blacked out.
but i had a feeling in my stomach
that knew all along.

*******.

They said,
"The most beautiful art is
looking into someone's eyes
when they talk about the
things they love."
And I said,
"Or looking at someone you love.
Or maybe, just maybe,
by looking at the mirror
is the most beautiful art
anyone should appreciate."

there’s nothing more wholesome and perfect
thank you falling asleep
with your head in my hands
and giving me half-awake kisses

maybe i love you, okay??
not the type of love where i can’t live without you
but how the moon loves the night sky
how i love sunsets

the type of love where we could drive around forever just listening to music and that would be okay with me as long as i’m with you.

the type of love where i could look at you all day and not find a single thing wrong because i’m so ******* captivated by you.

the type of love you see in movies.
that’s how i feel about you.

everything about you.
there is nothing about you that i would ever change.

maybe i’m scared to show you who i am because it’s driven everyone else away in the past and i don’t want that to happen this time.

maybe i had more hope in myself that i wouldn’t drive you away, but i still managed to.

so maybe i love you.
but what ******* difference does it make

i don’t know much about you
but i’d like to think you’d love it here
the sound of the waves crashing
the shells that string the beach
the sand on your feet
i’d like to think if i found you a shell
you would keep it
and i would keep any shell
that you found for me