I wish that she bothered me
The absence of normal emotion
Gnawing at the very foundation of sanity
I don’t understand
the incapability To care
To feel
To love
Burrowing itself
Ruining everything it touches

It’s not all bad tho
The lack of a **** given makes it easy
Its as if I have one foot out the back door
Searching for a reason
To slip out completely
Being ignored is a good reason for me

out amongst the back yard I roam
Slipping ever so swiftly out the door
through the sweet garden of deception
It’s What lured me in
But looking back now
The flowers are all dead and withered

God I feel good
For now
Another dance with another white girl
The smell intrigues me
Grabbing my sanity
As if it were some leashed *****
Let me go
Please
I say the words
as I inhale the euphoria
Only tightening its grip
I could rip my nose off
The horrible pain would be a relief
A relief from such a outstanding high
But now I’m falling
Wait
        Wait
                WAIT
Where is my high going
Will I find the ground
Or will the bitter taste
of smacking rock bottom
Find me

Smack

So this is the cold floor of sobriety
A fall like that should of killed me
Oh well
I guess I’ll just finish the job myself

I wish I had
The armor you keep on your heart
I would not have to worry
About Cupid’s shots
Like shooting stars
That I wish I could wish upon
But no
Arrow after heart shattering arrow
Leaving my chest
Tender and full of holes
And those holes
If they were to heal
I wish created thicker skin
To not let the same voids
Be made again
But instead I find
The feather ends
Sticking out
Making my love hideous
Like highway roadkill
Dare not look
Dare not touch
Dare not acknowledge
For I wish your feelings sparred
But yet I yearn for the day
That someone comes around
And love this mangled heart

Mary Jane whispers my name
pulling me closer
with each breath I take
she’s pulling me in
she’s pulling me in

She’s taking control over me
Making things better
With every kiss
I know I can stop
But I’m not gonna stop

She introduced me to all of her friends
We have fun together
I don’t want this to end
Is this going to end
When will it end

Tooth and nail screams to the sky
Where is the laughter
Where’s the god that you seek
Your meeting him soon
You’ll be with him soon

Your fading away
Fading away

I don’t know why
These feelings I feel
Are so strong
Stronger than raging seas
During the thunderstorm that
Is my attraction to her
I wish I could look at her
As just another pretty girl
But I don’t think she can ever be
Anything less than the ray of sun
Shining through the darkest clouds
Making my days better
Every time I am graced by her Presence
But why does she do this
Steals my breath with a glance
Leaving me gasping
And begging for another look
Mind making a mess of itself
And a fool of me
As words attempt to leave my mouth
Hoping for even the smallest conversation  
But those conversations will be few
And I know it
this girl would never fall
For this world so different from her own
Tattooed
Pierced
Hopeless romantic Skater boy
Is no match for
This pure hearted flower
But sometimes I hang on
To the thought that maybe
Just maybe
That this opposit can attract
But I know
the graceful beauty
Won’t be mine
And I’ll be ok with that
As long as I can call her
A friend

Grip my heart
Strangle my wrists
Pulling, tugging
devastatingly ripping
Like tear soaked fabrics
How I wish I could split
To Give all to both
Keeping relationships alive
But all the while I die
Knowing that one
Must be made
To let go

If we shut our eyes
Closed our ears
Grabbed ahold
And followed our hearts
Where would we be
And who would we be there with