Trauma reverberates inside Mommy's stomach.
Sadness, depression, suicide ingrained;
All of it invisible to the public.
Never been a fan of soap opera’s cause in my life all I've seen is drama.
Shutting down everytime I hear a yell, you can tell by the way my eyes dilate.
Sometimes I struggle to find the strength.
When all the ones I've loved have died as of late.
Tell you that I'm fine, after all whats another lie?
Must be all these night terrors I've been having, that got me literally lying awake!
They say practice makes perfect, that's the till of the tape.
But at least I can say, I understand whats eating Gilberts grapes.
Cause its eating away at me too.
Tangled up in the web of trauma, that I can't fully undo.
Get over it? Huh, wish it was that easy for me as it is for you dude!

Trauma reverberates inside mommy’s stomach.
Abandoned, broken, deemed insane;
All of it invisible to the public.
But for her its just another day as a single momma.
Isolating many times even away from family.
Which caused some to be irrate, forgetting that she just endured a tragedy.
Sometimes she struggled to find the strength.
To make enough money, sometimes she even went hungry.
To make sure that food went in her son’s tummy.
Swearing that nothings better than instant noodles, mac and cheese or soups all so chunky.
Tell everyone that she’s fine, after all whats another lie?
That will be forgiven after church on Sunday.
They say practice makes perfect, that's the till of the tape.
At least I grew up knowing that I wasn't a mistake.
Yet there are still some aches I can't seem to break.
Which got me wondering what will it take?
To get through these birthing pains?

Let me tell you a story.
A story of hurt, pain and eventual healing.

Once upon a time, there was a boy as joyous as could be.
A boy once described as a gentle giant.
Who had big dreams and aspirations for the future.
A boy happy and proud of being their authentic self.
Was taught about the importance of culture and the sacrifices of his ancestors.
Was taught the truth about our shared history; a truth that would soon be undermined, rejected and punished.
Where innocence died and his colour became villainized.
The day he  first went outside his house.
The day that pride and happiness shattered and reality became tattered.
The day his heart became bruised and battered.
Where the gentle giant became an angry monster like the Incredible Hulk.
Except for the part where he felt anything but incredible.
Humans sure can be cruel.
Illusions of difference kept up by oppressive rules.
And those unable to see beyond it, truly are the biggest fools.
Blind truly lead the blind, for real.
Some call it cynical, some call it political, yet many ignore the pain it yield’s.
But unlike bread for many like this boy it’s hard to rise.
Hard to overcome all the factors that keep many sidelined.
Left to pretend everything’s fine.
When it’s obviously not.
Healing is hard; it takes time.
Especially when many of your friends die.
Believing in the lie’s.
Who’s to blame?
Perhaps everyone is.
Which got many like the little boy wondering?
Are we monsters by choice or by circumstance?
Perhaps both?
Perhaps neither?
All I know is many are hurting.
All I know is people are crying.
Which makes the little boy wonder?
How many tears are enough to create change?
How many deaths does it take to create change?
All the boy knows is he’s alive and has overcame.
All he knows is that it took years to heal, and understand that he isn’t insane.
Or some monster that needs to be tamed.
He knows that he may be indigenous, but he’s human all the same.
And he hopes he can help others like him someday.

I started out the bottom, unlike that ****** drake.
I never seen a biracial rapper try so hard not even logic can take that cake.
Bro got merked by Pusha, then got merked by Kendrick; that ain’t even up to no debate.
Call that a double homicide, but there ain’t gonna be no roses for some jail bate!
Man, Chat gpt working more overtime than your efforts to increase the populations birth rate.
Got R Kelly jr over here; hold up, wait… where’s the police?
Perhaps them goofy goobers can’t handle the heat?
Of them, 81’s grovelling beneath a CP’s feet.
****, I’d never thought I’d see the day when gangs went against their own beliefs.
Money over everything, corrupting everybody from thugs to priests.
But at least it’s got everyone distracted, keeping their eyes off the Middle East.
Tell when I start telling lies? Only then will I take a seat!
Pa pa pa pow, rest in peace!
Pa pa pa pow, rest in peace!
**** this ****!
Bring the lyricism back; I ain’t here to make no twerking songs.
You best know Classy J grew up on that real ****, like those Shady, Biggie and Tupac songs!
I don’t have beef with ya unless you're Drake or the Diddler; we’ll probably get along.
This is usually the part I’d tell them to **** my ****.
But I know the thought of it would get them perverts salivating like some dog.
Ra, ra, ra ruff, ruff! Am I wrong?
Ra, ra, Ra, ruff, ruff! I ain't wrong!
Okay, okay, okay, for real, though.
I ain't claim to be no hero!
I ain't no villain either; I'm more like Malcolm, man; I'm something in the middle!
And these rhymes help me stay in remission,
So, that I always keep **** level.
For real, I gotta keep working to block out the lies of the devil!
Which was formed by trauma since I was very little.
Even before that, the pain was literally ingrained in my people's genomes!
A legacy of death that will take a couple of generations to heal.
Yet some still believe that it ain't no big deal or if it was even real.
The fact is, humanities ****, and we’ll eventually clog our own wheel.
Tell when I start telling lies? Only then will I take a seat!
This is my classy interlude *****; class is in session; take a seat!

I swear we all stuck in the matrix, just like we Truman.
Have to break free of these shackles and delusions.
That fail us harder than our ******* institutions.
Guess it’s easier being woke than getting off one’s *** and finding some real ******* solutions!
I swear somedays our stupidity be giving me a ******* concussion.
That got me wondering…
How is that pain evolves faster than us humans?
Maybe cause we treat the pain better than we do ourselves!
Call that unaddressed internal prosecution.
That leaves us more fragile than gazelles.
The corpse cannot be hidden any longer brother; we gotta address the smell.
Even a Smurf could tell!
That this **** be grosser than the unwashed ***** of Gargamel.
Yuck! 🤢 🤮
But man you think that’s bad?
Just wait till you see through the corruption!
After all humans are the biggest natural destruction.
Ever since the introduction of the Industrial Revolution.
That gave many philosophers like Karl Marx contusions.
But at least we got Dragon Ball and super saiyan fusions!
Too bad the earth will eventually crash and burn from all of our pollution.
But **** it that’s a problem for the next generation!
You know what I’m saying?

Re-Greta D’ohberg, better watch out for that iceberg!
The pressure is palpable man.
It’s got me wondering how much longer?
Till we sink here!

We live in a society where facts take a back seat to feelings,
Cause every body wanna be a victim.
Beating on the same drum, just hook line then sink em.
Stopping any discussion that surrounds em.
Leaving em power hungry and fiending.
Till one is hooked and addicted, spoon fed **** that’s misleading.
There ain’t a part meant for people like me in the system.
What’s right is wrong, so one gotta burn down churches as part of their healing.
More like part of their fearing; which is all part of a larger symptom.
Which got everyone acting like they syndrome.
Now pardon these lyrics.
Gotta compartmentalize the formula that makes things clearer to see; like windex.
Just like pudding needs to be pre-mixed.
There must always be a pre-text and a witness.
Gotta listen close, to truly feel this!

Running outta time,
Running out of excuses.
It's the bottom of the ninth.
So, I really can't miss this!
Guess I found my spine.
Promise I’ll do whatever to maintain it!
I know I risked it all.
And I should've taken six.
As I really ****** up,
Cause I know that you're really ******!
Sleeping all alone, without you at home,
Left to wallow & reminisce.

I keep, I keep, running… running…

I keep, I keep, running… running…

Like a hamster in a wheel.

Overthinking, overthinking…

Till my head implodes.

Running outta time,
Running outta patience,
Think I lost my mind,
Got caught up in a spaceship.
I tell you that I’m fine,
But we both know that is some *******.
Guess I told a lie.
Is it too late to truly fix this?
When I told you, that you were mine.
Yet got caught up with some scant tricks.
I know I crossed that line.
When I decided to plug into that matrix.
Convinced myself that I needed to escape this.
Cause I Couldn’t see what I had until it was too late and I lost it!
****.

I keep, I keep, running… running…

I keep, I keep, running… running…

Like a hamster in a wheel.

Overthinking, overthinking…

Till my head implodes.

Look baby I just gots to know.
That you feels like you’se gots to go.
Cause **** ain't optimal,
What can I say?
***** I lost control.
Wait hold the phone.
Forgive the tone.
I'm just emotional.
And I want you home.
Just thought that you should know.
That I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that's as far as my words can go.
Best believe ***** personal.
Cause I hurt more than just your trust; I hurt your soul.
Soul…. Soul…. Soul.

Soon all will fade into nothingness.
Come what may.
In all its elegance.

Embrace the void.
Like a Consumer establishment.
Fate is something one cannot avoid.
For Nothing happens by accident.
I Hope we can re-try this life once again.

Nothing lasts forever.
At least that’s what we are told.
Well thought out intentions;
Can Create later consequences for both young and old.

Soon all will fade into nothingness.
Come what may.
In all its elegance.

Tick tock, down goes the hand of hate.
Till the serpent eats its tail again.
Perhaps selfishness is innate?
To some extent…
Do we deserve to try this once again?
However…

Nothing lasts forever.
At least that’s what we are told.
Well thought out intentions;
Can Create later consequences for both young and old.

Soon all will fade into nothingness.
Come what may.
In all its elegance.