We can’t know the wind
but the wind may know us

Writing, scribbling, scrawling
used to be my way of unscrambling my past
my scattered sense of self
my passionate desires and longing

and now

I have become still.

I do not write as much or as often.

Why?

Simply put - my life is serene and constant
and full.

Full of love, free of the demons I’ve put to bed for good, built upon years and years of sacrifice.

I am busy with my roles - Husband, Father, Protector, and Provider.

Some days I miss the crashing waves
and the practice of pain into art,
but today,
today my currents run deeper,
more subtly, strongly,
and quietly.

I hope to
rediscover the world
through your eyes,
unlock the mysteries
behind the mundane
again.

See new colors,
think new thoughts,
find the lost joy in music.

I hope to
show you, teach you,
love you, reach you,
in all our imperfect
human ways.

Read new words,
twirl words into lines,
find the perfect poem
for you.

Steady as we go,
we live these patterns,
from one day on
to the next
and on.

How unburdened are my thoughts,
how free are my intents
while I know we are a constant.

Season’s first frost
and chilling air
somehow
make our whims
even cozier,
more whole.

Life blooms this December,
how anxious we are
to hold your tiny hands,
to hear your quiet
breath.

We ride these waves,
you and I and our
lovely daughter,
steady and sure
and full of hope.

I breathe a sigh of relief
As I hear you let out a deep
And raspy breath -
The day has conquered your mind
And finally
You are asleep

I have sealed my life
Into yours
A promise to serve and cherish
To nurture and care

As you are content
As am I
As you suffer
So must I

Content in your presence
And inspired by your life
Your treasured soul

Sleep

Some days I am not who I could be -
I ignore things that shouldn’t be ignored,
don’t fix things that should be fixed,
sacrifice my health in favor of comfort.
Some days I am weaker than others -
my own worst critic, my potential is limitless,
but my time is limited.
I get so passionate
about twenty different things and
pull in twenty different directions
and then do none of it.
I’m scattered in what I want to be,
and I want to be everything.
Jack of all trades, master of none of them,
time to refocus this energy
and become one again.