I hate it
When death becomes
An option

I like it
When death is not
The only option

It's been over a year and I cannot forget it
My heart always hurts and I tend to let it
I strive for a connection but always regret it
Lines get drawn and I overstep them

It's a problem that I'm stuck in the past
But for my heart time moves to fast
Life tells jokes and I forget to laugh
I close my eyes when reality floods back

So maybe I'm not
As fine as I thought
Maybe I lose myself from time to time on accident

This isn't a promise
I'm just being honest
When I say I hope I find myself before it all ends

I think I can handle not being your friend anymore.
I think I can live by without talking to you.

Not seeing you is fine, ignoring me? I guess I can live with that?
I stopped because my friends liked you before.

But now, so what if our friends have a history?
Doesn’t matter, I don’t care. What I really care about is you.

And you don’t have to tell me. You look busy.
But no matter how busy. Please take care of your health too.

It’s important for me to know whether you get sick or not.
If you are sick, I don’t feel good. Well, I don't know.

You keep appearing in my daydreams and dreams.
I’d say you’re the girl in my dreams, but that’s just overused.

And to be honest, we almost met face to face before.
I saw you from afar and I just couldn’t bring myself to look at you.

I stopped and crossed to the other street.
Waited a bit just to see you in person and that was worth it.

Maybe because we didn’t know each other; perhaps it was because you are a stranger. I kept being busy trying to forget about it.

Yes, perhaps because we are strangers; but when I opened my eyes.
Every morning, I still thought the same thing.

I thought as much, but what if? You can’t forget that person?
What if it keeps glimmering in front of your eyes and keeps appearing in your mind?

I don’t know. I didn’t want to admit it.
I thought it couldn’t have been the case.

Something I’ve been denying for months, turned out to be true.
My heart races because of you.

I like you.
no, not just that.

I truly like you.

Dear David,
First of all, I would like to start this letter with a big *******!
How dare you come into my home and take advantage of me.
How dare you get into my bed and touch me.
How dare you!?!
Oh, you were drunk?
No worries, that totally makes it okay.
I was probably dreaming like the time my best friends brother decided to hop into my bed when I was 11.

I hate you!
I hate how I can’t be mad at Terry for wanting to have a relationship with you because you’re his brother.
I hate how I can’t speak up about what you did because it most certainly will ruin your life.

But I want you to know, you will never be apart of my life again.
You will not be apart of mine and Terry’s life,
And best believe you will not be an uncle to our little girl.

I know all you did was touch my skin and kiss my lips,
But what if I wasn’t strong enough to push you off me, to tell you no?

I hate what you did.
I hate that I can never be beautiful again,
You took that piece with you.
You greedy, ******, *****!
How many other girls have you done this to?
Are still doing this to?
And aren’t able to tell you no…

I just hate how I can’t move on…
How can you?