I always wondered
What it would feel like
All around me it was, but never me it caught
I always wondered
What it would be like
Seemed to me something of another kind

I even tried it
Just a few times
Fewer times it didn't feel wright
Almost went through with things I didn't like
Just to find
I had more pride

When I had given up the search
I had realized, not for the first time
But more and more
The love I yearned for
Had long bloomed inside

I had learned to love life  
That the moment I turned
I found the love I thought would last

What at that time
I didn't know
Was how long WE would go

Marveled at the feelings of US  
I would come to find
The meaning of self-worth

More so…

the dangers of love

change comes in different forms

one

you will yourself to change

two

change is forced upon you

three

change that happens over time

as i write this, i speak about a change that has befallen me
it was forced upon me

first you can't believe what is happening
than you try to change it back
but all is to late and all is left is to...

...accept

as you look at the change
you realize

it didn't creep up on you
it started long before
there was nothing you could do

but till i could accept that
I had to go through all this motions

why
you ask yourself

but
you say

and at the end
it just how it is

change is now the new reality
and where else do you want to live
when not in the reality of it all

I guess dreams come true
when you will it yourself and change

with no change
there are no dreams that will come true

with no dreams
there's no change to will upon

this change I speak about
was not my doing
but now I will change

so that MY dreams come true

I yearn to feel more
than I am capable of

I hate to see what I'm not capable of

I try
but nothing in me is obtainable
i's like nothing is available

but I am just not capable
or that is what, I tell myself at night
undeniable

I see things that I just can't stand
I turn around and walk away
to fast  some might say

when it's neer
I sneer

I guess I am just incapable of love

I'm waiting
waiting for something
I'm thinking to myself
"this can't be it, this can’t be all"
I need more or just something else

there just has to be more to this...
place.
world .
Universe.
life...

how is it that i feel like this is not yet it
what is missing, outhers try to find it
whatever,
whoever,
something
to happen
to come
to be

it is frustrating
I can't get the feeling of satisfaction

maybe it lasts a day
though at the end I can't shake it all away

the feeling
of incompleteness

and though it's known to many
and all

we all try to shake this loneliness
this emptiness..

…as we all are just waiting for something to happen to acure to complete this Life we live

I guess we are all waiting

waiting for all to end
for the finish line
to feel free
to die

if i will it
would i feel less ill about it?

i was told to shut it

as i found my things
i run and hid to write about it

once i came to it
i would go back
realy think about it

since i thought of it
all i felt was ill
no doubt, that was all kinds of ****

after feeling ill
writing was the only thing
to help me get rid of it