And in twenty-something years, after love and heartbreak, joy and sorrow. After so many lessons learned and good times had, and all of the ups and downs. With all of the people I've met, and through a stroke of luck, the people I've helped...

I have come to realize that I don't know anyone.


The darker corners of your mind, the condition it's in. Like hunger.

It's not something that goes away.


Empty.


All is lost.

66 six poems of searching for lawyers
(And) lacerating in paper lament
My muse being vamped by the land

Black and white, out-inside
Making no sense, as a tree
Falls into a drained sea.
A mountain is nothing but me

It's my soul wandering in wonders
In ****** and meander it utters
There is never a stop, the levelling
Unveiling like a chorus to another

In a world where I am in disuse
A time where my muse sings
Lovers come and pack up to leave
Wavered like an anthem in discord

A universe where faith itself is a disbelief
A relief of the contours and eventualities
The vision sighted that all is out of balance
Shaky like a chord reaching a crescendo

Rivers so strong that I can't wander through
A swim so strenuous and unfocused
On the tunnel there is a lighted bulb
Glowing like a fire bomb ready to explode

In street and houses where all are struggling
The hidden secrets and the wet pillows
Subtle things that we will never know or see
Lost like a crab unshaken in it's shell

The birds call keeps punching me till I'm sleeping
Maybe one day I'll just keep on dreaming
About the roses and how they glisten glazed in the sun
On and on petals leap till noones left breathing
Lie awake listen your mind to the tweeting
Call again and suddenly I'm standing bleeding
Out of the words to describe this feeling
My minds set on moving forward into the bleak end
I hear your call whisper my name
from the poison ivy black lips
Listen to the whizzing of the hissing snake between your teeth
As the phone screams its time to stay awake
Never too much to take away
I made my own bed of rose petals now tell me is it time yet
The bleak end never seemed so clean
Another lost soul latches onto another rose
The lights of the past blind the eyes of the future
Please pick up the phone the birds are calling
Don't you want it all to slither away?
We all missed you today
Will you ever be okay
I brought you a rose from my garden
Can you ever accept what I am giving
The birds are calling are you listening?
There are no roses left in the dreamland
Never before had **** smelled so sweet
Come and lie in this wasteland

Everything crumbling
All at once
Falling on top of me
Crushing me
Crushing my lungs
No way to escape
Might as well crumble
And join the mess
I can't act like
I'm not at fault
Because I am
But aren't we all?

The poison has left my veins.
Taken from me by pale lips
that were pressed to mine so gently, so lovely,
so sweet, so kind.
When his mouth parts mine
he leaves my lips cold.

He tells me I'm beautiful like its a fact, not a compliment.

Tell me about the garden again,
        tell me this is our last night on earth and you just want to know that it's real
                                tell me fairytales. Tell me
this is everything you've ever dreamed of
                 and more.
Kiss me with whiskey lips and cigarette teeth
                        kiss me like you'll never have a chance to kiss someone again. I want to feel you. I want to taste callous remarks
        on your tongue
                 give them to me, give me everything and then give me more. Sing to me
                                write me ten thousand sonnets and recite them
        ignite everything we've ever been.
                                                              This is your chance. Tell me about
                         the vines.
Tell me a thousand things, and more, and more. Drink me in, like this,
                sprawled out on your bed, laughing like it's the end of the world. We don't have much time.
                                       Let's end it all, hangman's rope and a burning will,
        or let's stay a little longer.
I want to hear your voice again. Tell me how we're ruined.
                Tell me how I'm ruining you,
                                        and how you love it.
Tell me about tomorrow.
                                                        It's the only one we have left.

am i strong am i strong am i strong am i strong will i
will i survive?*
you rub your eyes dry so that no one will know
about the crumpled up tissues that still litter the bathroom floor
the discarded strips of metal shining from their hiding place underneath your bed
(you used to keep fairytales there;
now there are only monsters)
fatality is not in your vocabulary but you might need to put it in soon
you need to know that she will hold you hair for you
while you spit up blood
and she will whisper that it will be alright
even while she digs her fingernails into the small of your back
you need to know that
she is lying to you as she is lying with you she doesn't care she will call you a monster and rip out your ******* lungsbreathe
strength is incalculable
i cannot help you to walk if your legs are broken
{ your lungs are made of tar and you can't remember when it was
the last time you could breathe }
life is too sentimental so you've taught yourself not to feel
but you will still scream
as she rips your teeth out and swallows them
you are speeding too fast for me to follow for anyone to
follow
i don't think you know how to slow down
strength is a chemical weakness i wonder
what pulses through your bones to make them hate you so much
i wonder what you ever did to make her hate you so much
you are train tracks
waiting to be trodden on
strength is not in your vocabulary
and you're pretty sure it never will be
a cigarette dangles carelessly
from chapped lips
your song has never been so discordant.