I am screaming for more
I used to feel lonely and sad
and was looking for a light
I couldn’t reach the bright
was down on my knees
I overlooked you in my life, light

I am screaming for more
want to reach heights and live
again, without fights
I am screaming for more
don’t be sad, don’t’ feel alone
everything is in front of you
my friend, said once…

I am screaming for more
nobody knows what waiting me
I am alone and it devastates me
I am only screaming for more
to be again alive and full of dreams
to survive in this world
I am only screaming for more

I heard that
Anger is a secondary emotion.
I want to scream
And tell them to look at me.
I want to beat them up
So they feel like I do.
But I think
I actually just want to cry
And stop myself from hurting.

as a dead bird drops i fall into a silent place
with echoes upon echoes of mind moving itself
and i scream with the effort to speak of it
to retrieve a speck of the chill fire
to recognize and pronounce it a word
or shape of word      or confusion of word
to bear it into a semblance

I'd rather you use bombs and knives,
I'd rather you use guns and swords.
I'd rather that we would have fights;
that you'd leave me with open sores.

I'd rather you find a different weapon,
a different tool to use on me.
I wish you'd make me feel a pain;
I wish you'd leave me weak and ******.

Yet the sharpest tool is what you use;
you leave me dead inside.
I wish you'd tear my heart out;
I wish I would have died.

You open your mouth and the weapons spill out,
you're armed with words that you scream and shout.
The pain is unbearable, the torture indescribable.
I know there's no point in putting up a struggle.

You **** me, one by one,
your words an open ****.
They slice me up in pieces,
making me feel like trash.

All I can be is silent;
I know that is the best.
I try to block them out,
but they're already in my chest.

Your words are killing me;
a slow, antagonizing death.
Each word you say cuts me,
each wound raw and fresh.

I wish you'd let me be,
I wish you'd leave it unsaid.
I guess you just can't see
you can't bring someone back from the dead.

lost in the desert of noise
eating greasy gobs
pain is the penalty of life
drugging in the hotel bathroom
spitting out the window
trashing all there is
complaining about the ****** mess
screaming no i didn't do this

there is no future, and there is no escape
it’s now or never
i’ve never had this hollowness in my gut
where i realise there is no way out

i am trapped in this body but also forever
does that mean i’m trapped with this mind
i can’t go on like this anymore

it could happen at any moment
whether i go through the consequences then

i need to end this suffering
my head is so full i don’t know what i’m expected to do anymore
i just feel like an empty lifeless corpse

all i can do is float around and pretend to be a part of something when actually i'm not

i’ve lost the place i felt safe to somewhere i can’t see and don’t know if it’s true
i don’t understand it

but what’s the point anymore
if i’m going to end and all my friends are going to end
why not end now instead of suffering through day to day

i’m useless
worthless

i wish it was easier to let go
but i know it’s not easy
especially when no one can hear me

because i can only scream in silence