should i be thinking of you
or savoring this time that you're asleep by doing something less painful for a change
because when you're awake my body works till it aches to occupy sufficient time in your day
so you'll remember me
cause it's all that i can change,
the amount of insignificant praise that i give you
just hoping you won't go away
and i count the hours as it gets late
accounting for everything i can see
praying you don't start another chain of things that don't involve me
cause i can't handle it
i'm so weak
and it's the most mundane things that trigger this anxiety
and so i'm tired
and i'm sorry

and i'll let you rest
cause God knows you need it
much more than me

her body soothes my rotting skin
her flesh dissolves into it
my brain cannot resist the poisonous remedy injected
i know you have good intentions dear but i
i dont have them

spent the year sick and in your bed
blood stained sheets from every mess that i regurgitated
sickness strewn about your halo'd head
greenish tint staining the rim

and when i lift mine i feel
dizzying aches
strain to look out to the garden, lay still to see your face
do you regret everything you've ever said
my love, my everything
dear mother *****

everyone who ever knew me,
outside your mending gaze
anyone who ever told me
things i don't believe
who needs them anyway
just dig deeper into my skin
and i forget, when i wince
feels like heaven in your grip
my love
my love don't forget me don't
regret
  
everything i can't resist
bleeding in your makeshift replacement for everything missing, this mattress
can't take away the incessant aches
her fingers dig and dig and
she takes a break for a day
or three and i can't wait
crawling in every single inch of my skin
waiting for you to begin again
hanging on every word you say
my brain cannot resist the poisonous remedy injected
waiting for her to begin
again

and i can't wait

lying in silence




quiet



there's a dead poet, lying in the garden, lying in




silence

thirsting for anything, buried deep beneath the overgrown weeds of your garden

the artist
is dead.