i long for the days back when life was sharp
lately it’s all ashes on astroturf

the pink paper lanterns that light up our space
leave stars in my eyes as i lie in wait

and i thought i’d find peace along the shore
if i could only let go of what i think i deserve

the ghost of every person i ever loved
        that has ever hurt me
lives in my shadow
               (they whisper of my worth)
      put them to rest
how do i put my ghosts to rest?

i said i wouldn’t bury you but
these seeds are useless
        planted deep in my chest

i can’t hold you close
so i’ll blanket you in dirt
leave you to grow
to sleep in the earth

     in the sun
           and in the rain.

i'm sorry dear, i won’t be here
to keep you out of the shade.
it’s my turn to walk under the sun
and this time,
alone

     hope to see you
          next spring.

hope you’ll be glowing shimmering shining
           (a yellow rosebush in my garden)
golden like my memory of may
when i hadn’t kissed you yet.

quit asking why
   the answers will come
               in due time.

you were the calm.
before my storm

   the storm in my eyes
             and the universe within

the serene squirrel

asked for perspective&
untied her hands.

late night waning full moon experience(s) and
daytime waxing half-moon discovery
upon discovery

the system doesn't work
this system will not
ever work--
so.
  work
         around it.

i scream "**** yes" and
get swallowed in the moon
there's starshine flowing
from my fingers and toes

each and every star
every life
every breath:
is art at its essence.
at its source.



*
~~~~~

in a matter of days the stars aligned
acknowledging the void, I was bathed in light

may we free ourselves through the sharing of pain
find peace in light snow,
in each other's embrace

spot every red door and bench and half-moon
unravel self told lies
accept the unknown

give up on the chase and on finding a home.

no longer a stranger ****** into a strange land
it comes in waves but I'm beginning
to feel less alone

now pull up the shades of your heart & let shine:
the blinding soul light
your stardust eyes

extinguish the flame
let go of your dependence
and comfort in pain