Need I, to change myself?
Well, the question is easy not
Because what doth change exactly mean?
Need I, to change my behaviour?
Depends does it, on the situation
However, were you to ask me to change
Something that hath been a part of me
For years and years
The answer shall a resounding no be
Because, were I to change my nature
Then Ashwin I shall be no longer!!

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to anger management
Change I can, certainly
Of course, it is but something
Already am I working on
And I boast not
But strides, have I already made
Thus, am I on the right track

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to self-belief
Agree we all should
That this is but something
Which I need to work on
Because, currently drowning am I
In a pool of insecurities
Some of them being self-created
But yes, working on it am I
Through therapy and reading the gospel everyday
And of course, penning poems like this!!

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to certain painful incidents in the past
Do well I certainly could
To make an earnest effort
Towards forgiving and forgetting
Not because those people deserve it
But for my own inner peace
As have said repeatedly
All those dear to me

Need I, to change myself?
Well, were there something
Which I am happy with not
Then yes, may some tweak be needed
Because, as said a very dear cousin sister of mine
Change is but something
Which would keep me happy and protected

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to my character
Once again, the answer shall a resounding no be
Of course, a few behaviours here and there
Can altered be, if required
But then, doth it apply to everyone
And most importantly
Believe in myself, I must
No matter what
Again the words of my dear cousin
Amen!

Tamed by an ordinary spirit,
So blissful and so charming,
Love, that is,
Or is it lust?
Either of the two end,
With lacerations that spell loss.

A mere flesh wound, mind you,
These temporary frowns,
Caused by passing past smiles,
Are only appetizers to the main course,
A bite of taste and a sip of tears.

Like 1-2-3,
The sensations come as fast as “they” go,
And to accept these customaries of life,
Is to accept that there is no permanence,
When it comes to stimulation.

Revive this lost soul,
As it relied on the scents of “them,”
To feel something deeper, more wholesome,
After years of self-isolation,
Caused by the last one that came and went.

Love this lustful sense of loss,
I sometimes crave the morbidity,
To remind me that I’m still breathing,
When I lost myself trying to preserve,
That feeling of lust masquerading as love.

Someone told me,
To water my own grass,
But what they neglected to mention,
Is that my grass is crass.

This is due to my unfortunate past,
Every minute spent kissing ***,
To be walked on and trampled by,
Boots and heels of brass.

So no, I will most certainly not,
Water my own grass,
The thoughts and evaluations,
Of the judgment I pass,
Is necessary and voluntary,
In a sea of largemouth bass.

You,
My love,
Are a walking galaxy.
So full of beauty,
Mystery,
And passion.
You,
My love,
Are a walking miracle;
The entire cosmos in a single being.
You,
My love,
Have the universe in your eyes,
The stars in your soul,
And stardust in your bones.
You,
My love,
Are brilliant in every way.
Remember that the next time
Anyone makes you feel
Any less than what you are

I'd rather be hard-to-get
and end up with a guy
who's willing to fight for me
than be easy
and end up with someone
who doesn't truly deserve me.

How do I show my beauty?

By just being me.
By embracing the things I love in life.
By feeding into my energy.
By diving into my creativity.
By leaning into my curiosities.
By embracing change and striving for improvement.
By showing empathy.
By digging into my strength and endurance.
By practicing mindfulness.
By harnessing my focus.
By utilizing patience and compassion.
By feeling strong emotions.
By loving my nature.
By moving with passion and resting in good reason.
By needing nothing else outside of these.

These are the beautiful things that come from within me.

All that’s needed of me
is to dig within myself,
to dive headfirst
and fully submerge into the water
and pulling out these attributes-
these facets of beauty,
reflecting the sunshine
like the scales of a fish,
the cuts in an emerald,
the ultraviolet color in flowers and birds.

she waited
discreetly checked the time
continued to wait
patiently and impatiently
flashing a smile
at what felt like
appropriate moments
a stunted laugh
or an "oh"
"really" or "yeah"
if she felt
she'd been wordlessly
quiet for too long
hours had been lost
to the smallest of talk
the bane of
real conversation
of truly meeting a person
all that effort
of getting ready
the makeup
meticulously applied
the hair
styled and restyled
the outfit
chosen then doubted
then changed
to be put on again
all of that
for this

Why is it
We write about what we need
What we’re missing

Instead of what we have
And what we have found

Always yearning
Always Craving
For something more
Than what’s given
Than what has been found.

Is there more to life out there
Or am i a hopeless dreamer
Making wishes on every shooting star
And every 11:11

Is there a point
Where we stop wanting
And start accepting
Life, for what it is
What our experience has become

I’m not sure which one
Is worse.

Maybe instead of counting how many tears
I’ve shed
I’ll start counting how many sun rises
I've seen

There is something to learn,
From nature itself
Like how the sun always falls..

But

She rises.
Over and over

Again,
And
Again

Til she burns out.
Day after day,
Until she  takes her last breath.

She will shine so bright
Her whole life
Maybe never knowing
Her true worth.

We clearly see her light.
We figure she knows how valuable she is
How much we need her,

She has no clue.
Yet She continues to rise and fall,
Breathing life unto us all.
While maybe she..
Is falling apart;
herself

Keep going
Keep burning
Even when you dont feel like it.
Someone out there needs you

-kc

I don't want to be seen,
yet I wish for someone
to finally really see me.

I don't want to be heard,
yet I wish for someone
to finally listen to me.

I don't want to feel,
yet I wish for someone
or something
to finally make me feel.

I don't want to exist,
yet I wish for someone
or something
to finally make me want to.

Maybe I have to be that someone.
Or something.