I know naught of the difference between the living and the dead. For here on Earth, though my heart is still beating, I cannot help but feel so horribly miserable. And it may be death is not the end of life, only the decay of the body and not of the soul, but I should not know in this life.  At the end of this miserable existence, we may be relieved by a euphoria. Still, at the end of a life so fruitful, we may be met with the burning pits of hell. And if I will not rot nor prosper all my miserable days would be meaningless. Every time I think I know heaven, a hell must break my spirits. And still, it is more dreadful to met by a boring bleakness that hugs my existence like a child holds their mothers. To my knowledge, I may already be dead, as no one recognizes the characteristics of death. Life to our knowledge could be our own form of hell, but it may also be the utopia. Here on this dying planet, we may live beautiful lives. On this dying planet, we will die. Our heartbeat is the ticking of a clock that will stop one day. But the clock that is the world will not stop for you my love, as it will not stop for me. Everything that is, will not be one day. The sun and the moon and all the treasures of this world will one day be nothing. All the people that are here now will not be. Everything must die, you and I dearest, we will die all the same. Time is a force older than anyone knows and it will never end. We are only here until we aren't. Our bodies end there, but where does our soul go. I know naught of the difference between the living and the dead. Because my flesh is fresh, but my mind is old. But on the inside, I feel decay. Live because there tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Live because you can. If you live for me, I'll live for you. The meaning of life, I don't think there is one really. We just do, we just live. That's all there is.

Waiting here on this earth,
For what?
My life to start?
My debt from childhood to diminish?
My act is not together!
I know you say, I'll get there.
But let me tell you,
It never starts until you;
Realize that debt,
Money,
Work,
All of this doesn't matter!



In the long run how are you going to die?
With money and satisfaction of greed?
With no experience,
But the only knowledge of;
At least I didn't risk my life so I could get here...

Risk is life,
Never stop risking,
Never stop running from society,
Because once you do,
Your life has ended...

This Poem is dedicated to the lives lost while climbing the most unforgiving Peaks in the world.
" "Why did you want to climb Mount Everest? * "
" *Because it's there. "
George Leigh Mallory* 1923

Eyes stinging,I'm facing up to the test,
realising that this could could be the death of me yet,
take a peek at the peak from under my hood,
life sapping winds leech heat from blood.
Of a lesser one maybe,but me no never,
take the pace easy,got to box clever

As the hurricane howls I know I can't sweat,
if you do you lose heat,that's the kiss of death,
push endurance to the max through the **** zone,
keep your mind right cause you're on your own,
stay positive,already faced K2,
Savage Mountain behind me,time for take two*
taking on the monster,most unforgiving,
Goddess of the sky,sacrifices the living,
of the ones who tried 9% have died,
Sagarmatha- I say a silent prayer for their lives.

Don't want my name on the roll of the lost,
souls wandering the peak like a host of ghost's,

save a thought for the Sherpa's,unflinching guides,
without whom the attempt is sheer suicide

Is it Vanity?, Ego? that pushes us to climb,
the 8 thousand plus defy man and time
I can't answer-even though I know the ledge
all I know is life's sweeter when you're on the edge,
of the precipice the gap between life and death
preserve your oxygen-steal each breath,

Born risk taker- adrenaline drug of choice,
free-dived blue hole,flew Carl's walls heights,
but this is the big one,can't take fright-
or I'll be frozen like a statue,by the dawn's cold light,
point of no return strength got to summon it,
whole life leads to the push for the summit."

My old friend is unsettling
Looking, watching, listening
Waiting for me behind every corner
On every dark road
At the end of every knock
Behind every door.

Why can't I just go to the store?
I need to be armed.
Just in case someone means harm
You never know, you never know
How can you know?
What's waiting behind that door.

I hear you've been worried I'm here again, with more
Looking, watching, listening.
Don't you know I'm your only friend?
I've been here from the start.
You try to ignore my calls,
My breath on your neck

You're playing against a stacked deck.
My friend, don't you see?
I've never left
I'm here, I'm here,
I'm always here.
My hand is on the door.

You aren't a friend; you weren't here before
Looking, watching, listening.
But now you're coiled like a belt
Closing around my neck
Tied to the railing
Hung for all to see.

My friend? You're my worst enemy.
My friend would let me sleep.
My friend would say stop to eat.
My friend would give me space.
You aren't my friend.
I'm not opening that door.

I'll slide in, quiet, like death on the floor,
Looking, watching, listening.
I'll keep your eyes fixed and dilated
So you won't miss a thing
We'll stop that noisy wheezing
So you can appreciate me.

I am your friend
Your only friend that answers your calls
Your only friend that sees your pain
Your only friend.
Your only friend.
Your only friend, opening the door.

My friends are gone, lost in the war.
Looking, watching, listening,
You've kept me company,
Kept me warm.
You've fed my hate
Starved my love.
Kept me inside, never late

For my scheduled anxiety,
Which fills every second.
Every minute.
Every hour.
Every day.
I'm too busy to answer the door.

I'll let myself in, it isn't a chore.
Looking, watching, listening
I'll keep you company
While you work on your schedule.
We don't need to talk;
I already know.

I promise it won't interrupt
Or alter your rigid plans.
Staying inside is hard work
Without an old friend.
Let's get up.
Open this door.

I'd shut you up, if it weren't for your
Looking, watching, listening.
I have a friend made of steel and fire
Willing to have a chat with you
His voice is colossal with thunder
He'll stop your talk.

He'll stop your talk in a heartbeat.
He'll –

→→→→→It doesn't matter←←←←←
             What                       you
           Do in                            life
          And                 ­              death
         And       inbetween        them;
         At            the end             of the
          Day       the wheels        keep
           On                                 going
           Round                         and
               So the                wheels
                  Just keep turning.

Everybody wants the train wreck
the car crash
the big fire
No one knows why
It's simple
We must feel
the consequences
of life
or lose it

Lately
          Distracted
Forgotten thin line
       between
                 life
       between
                Death
The Doctor gently pulls
      a small ball of
        wax and skin and scar
      and says
        you are the
             toughest kid
Does he know?
          You are
     And now this
          2 year
     journey is
      over
     Do you know
          Do you remember
               as I'm
                   pulled back
                to Reality