the hardest fight to win
is the one that is forever raging
an inch never taking

no man's land is your residence
you can only proceed with hesitance
as this battle your fighting is you against you
and its filled with dissonance

turbulent thoughts
eddy flows and countercurrent desires
your mind is afloat in a sea of indecision
waiting for a vision
of clarity
Where is my north star?
My guiding light
to help me on my mission
to make this decision

I keep wrestling with my ambition
and my desire for submission
to my guilty side
unobliging
not hiding
never shying
from the chance to take all my time
and burn it with relaxation

a win for the soul but a loss for the mind
why sleep now when I have the rest of time?
but never slowing will the dim the glowing
of the creative ember lighting the way
and you never want to see that day
when it fades away

so take your time, let your stress wash away
let the good times play
maybe even pray?

Life is there tomorrow
you are here today

May God show me the way
for I  fled to the edge where I lost my way,
where I am surrounded with logs.

come and rescue me
among the mist of my heart
where they call I have to listen.

does it really talk?
Does it talk with it palpation,
maybe the bathing of blood?

come and rescue me
from the secrets of my heart
as I burn from the high volts of my heart.

come and rescue me
where I needed you I discarded you
I chose my ways away from you.

your etiquette I left alone with biting cold
where grass leeches every page
of your scripture.

I am tamed a sinner as I failed
to tame my tongue as your etiquette
stated .

come and rescue me
for my heart ekes me out.

Torn between choices
Move forward or go back home
Which one up to you

you are so sweet
yet so bad for me

you taste so secretive
so deliciously mine
but you're only a recipe
for a broken heart

no matter how many times
i put you on my tongue
you drench it in your savoury promises
that you'll never keep
leaving me empty
with desire

and somehow, i can never say

'no'

Someone please
just tell me the answer
because what I thought was a crossroads
has branched into a dozen paths
and you know I don't stand a chance
against a decision-making dilemma
so I am handing over the strings
please just play me like a puppet
put the confidence in my choice
put the words into my voice
move my feet in some direction
I promise I'll have no objection
because I cannot think! I cannot act!
my mind is chock-full
and completely jam-packed
and I am indecisive to the extreme
so much so I'm about to scream
yes I know it's bad that I have no thought
but all my attempts are tangled in a knot
I am tired of the pros and cons list
I am getting lost on this track of twists
so take my choices, I do not care
it's not like I'm getting anywhere!

I feel like an unsolved rubiks cube;
higgledy-piggledy.
Indecisive and confused,
Chaotic and muddled,
Vague and hazy.

Tongue twisted is what I feel
When someone asks;
for I can not say
anything for sure .

I am lost in the galaxy,
wandering through the forests -
I don’t know what path to take
to reach the destination set for me.

Oblivious to what I want
or what to do,
everything feels
unsure and unsteady
“It’s just a phase” is all I say .

For one day I will know,
the floor will not be unsteady
and it will be clear.

For I hold on to the hope
that one day
the rubiks cube will be solved

Somewhere in this world is the
Reason ..
I get mind ****** If I had no skills
He wouldn't still be with me
I'm sure of it ..
Selfish to think
I was really that important

Actualy quite the opposite
My tongue is just the Reason to
Pretends he cares

I'm just a waste if time
He says he doesn't deserve me


Maybe I am just a battle ship
Waiting to sink
Over speak and over. Think
Pitiful to think I was better then
Her .. He whorshiped the ground she walked on .. I will never stand a chance
She will always rule the shadows of my relationship
Taunting hiim


He could have her but got stuck with. Me
Im so bitter to say things
lashing out of anger
But I feel as if I'm just tge second choice cuz he couldn't have her