I woke up, bitter.
Trapped in regret
and lost in despair.
I can't think right.
I wonder where
all the good times went.
"Could you crack me a smile,"
she said, with eyes
like a whirlwind,
drawing me in.
I'm intrigued,
but I'm just
not happy anymore.

Thinking back to
summer days.
Getting back to
my old ways.
Seeing the smiles
in my mind only
bring me tears
this time.
Who am I to judge?
Who are you to
drink my blood
and eat my flesh?
I'm no saviour.
Though I've been
crucified for your pain
and for your pleasure.

I'm twisted up
on the inside.
So trapped in my
thoughts that I've
lost my mind.
I'm blind
and I can't see
the end of this
tunnel of misery.
All I have is questions
and the answers are
lost somewhere on
the tip of my tongue.
I can't breathe,
the air is too thick.
Life's smoke cloud
has finally choked
the hope right out of me.

I listened to the sounds of a nights life as it was on truest display.
On yet another dead end night.
No deadlines, no friends to annoy, no voices to echo shattered thoughts together.  

Long since had the audience grown cold and I simply deaf to their presence nothing drowns an ego worse than the reality's of a distant storm.

I listened like a ghost story.
A child's fears matched only by the amazement of what never could be and the night kept rhythm with my soul as emptiness washed the troubles aside for now .

Sometimes nothing.
Holds you closer than any lover shall.

We are lost to our thoughts and me just lost for the sake of being gone.
I enjoy my distance now the wolves can call but no longer do I feel the burden to run .

Nothing is as peaceful as knowing the hand doesn't have to yearn for the pen.
Simply let the thoughts go as they linger in seconds my hours were never wasted .
For what never was could never be lost.

Time tells me I'm done .
And the night simply speaks to me in gentle whisper of darkness .
Be bound not by shackles for now you are free .

In words I can embrace you only to destroy all in flesh.
Are torments shared often compare are we not flawed my dear in love and charmed in life?

My monster of ego knows no weakness except the tears of your eyes I'm so sorry for the man I've become from demons I've cast we couldn't bare the flame yet in this dead of winter may we know are warmth.

Those eyes that I've seen fade now spring still my hearts wraith are the nights now colder alone or is my emptiness to much to bare?
Scars I have traced upon the flesh never mend that of this emotional drain you are that which I can never be .

You know the man not the image and I see through the past to what's of a bitter sweet embrace we have stood as enemies and loved as immortals.
A sunsets reprise often is the deepest sadness for in pain I see the beauty so few ever cared to know.

I am a villain to most and simply John to you.
Are roads cant be imagined yet I never would cast aside the wreckage for another to replace .

We understand what so few could ever fathom.
Together we are addicts of the abyss sometimes you realize the darkness brings far more comfort than the light .

I whisper to you in this night gentle for only you to hear.

Little girl do you grasp all that I can never say in words?

To most I am a monster but to you I am only John.

She liked watching the waves
Curl around her pale body
And pull her into the ocean’s world
She liked watching the birds
Descending off the golden coast
And then disappear into the sunset’s horizon
Sometimes,she dreamt of flying with them.
She dreamt of leaving everything behind,
She dreamt of falling in love everyday.
She dreamt of feeling like she could see the world,
In a different way.
The seaside made her feel this way,
But people didn’t.
They crashed her dreams
And watched her fall down on her knees
With evil words they filled her mind
And made her life a stressfull life..
So she ran,down the seaside,
Into the ocean
Into the waves
And she kept dreaming
Without restrains.