One day in 2021
I put on a dress for the last time
A part of me died
The part I've been trying to **** for years
I said goodbye to the "me" I was supposed to be but never was

One day is 2023
I said goodnight for what I thought would be the last time
A part of me died
The part that's been trying to **** me for years
I said goodbye to wishing I was someone I never was

Eventually, I said goodbye to the people who hated me for being me
Now I say hello to being free

This night take me
fold me
shake me
fashion me a coat
a costume of stars
let me fly
let me be
let me finally be free
this night is not ours
it is mine
the headiest of wine
that you could never know
now say goodbye
and let me go

I don't want it yet,

not to go home already --


please, can I clean up?

We say goodbye, short

- long - stop, the signalling code --


of: I think of you.

anything that reflected you
from glass to a mirror
I would shine and polish
till I saw you clearer

anything that sounded like you
from a poem to a song  
I would sing and recite  
and quote you all day long

anything that resembled you
a painting, a clipping, a frame
I would keep, collect, store
and label with your name

Yes, anything
absolutely anything
that came remotely close to being you
made up my life and all I ever knew

my whole being was all of you
and you were all I became to be
It’s no wonder now without you
I spend my time in search of me

Farewell: we don't eat,

it just seems that way, as you --


also see in plays.

I half-hold her hand,

it's the cautious beginning --


of saying goodbye.

Should I continue

her life, and keep inventing --


how she would do things?