Just friends we promised
"Nothing more"
He said as he pulls me to the floor...

That night I went to bed with a *****.
He left before dawn...

He uses me but I dont mind
God help me...
I've fallen for a *****...

"So is this what we are? Friends with benefits, right?"
Oh, right.

I wanna know you inside and out.
I wanna crawl beneath your skin and
get into the depths of your soul
but you only want to see me naked.

I want to be your silver lining
in the middle of your messy life
I want to be the first thing on your mind
when you wake up and the last thing when
you rest your head on your pillow at night.

I'd give anything to crawl beneath your skin
and get into the depths of your soul.
but all I can do is stay up up wondering why you won't
love me the way I love you.

In the midst of our passion,
I tried to make you show your hand.
You were losing your poker face,
I thought your inhibitions were gone.

But when I said “tell me what you want”
You replied “for you to be happy and healthy”.

And that shattered the dam.
The wall that held back the sea splintered.
And I let you see me drown in my pain.

I told you how letting you gorge on me
Made me the kind of sad I could control.
It was a shallow kind of sad, one that could be fixed with scotch tape.
I ripped the adhesive off  of the shallow sad
When the deep dark sad became too much.

I told you how letting you gorge on me
Made me feel useful, even if it validated everything he told me.
I don’t care that my body is nothing more than something to be ******,
At least I’m doing my friend a favor.

So even if I can’t be happy and healthy right now,
And even if you know that,
At least we can see each other for what we are
As I let you feed his desires for me,
And you let me feed my desire for pain.

Let's get it back like nothing happened and return to normal,
Nice while it lasted but the way that this has turned is awful,
Friends with benefits? This is the end of it,
We should've never kissed, it's best we just forget this ****,
I don't wanna be strangers, giving ****** favours,
That'd probably fail I've just gotta honour the changes,
That you made me make, because they made me great,
It was the games we played that swayed me babe,
No one's ready with a friend and a plan at birth,
But we've got each other so I wanna put my hand in hers,
Just platonically honestly, I promise, it's gotta be,
Let's get high as **** and binge watch Planet Earth.