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Brent Kincaid Mar 2017
Stinky and Hinky
Both egregious pigs
Set out to **** us all;
They don't care a fig
If all of us starve to death
As long as they get rich.
Stinky and Hinky
Each a venal summabitch!

Stinky hired Hinky
Two minds, one sewer.
Stinky had no talent
But Hinky was newer.
Many people doubted
That either had a chance
But over half the voters
Chose to skip the dance.

So we got two reprobates
With no regard for us.
So, without much fanfare
And no legitimate fuss
The country got overrun
Crooks got left in office.
Now they all are setting out
To, once and for all, off us.

Stinky is a *****
And Hinky is a bigot.
They crap on the Constitution.
And expect us all to dig it.
Stinky uses the USA
As his personal ATM.
Hinky is just evil.
We’ve had enough of him.
Brent Kincaid Jul 2015
The hinky stinky spider
Spun a crooked web.
His mama called him,
Said “You stop that, Jeb!”
Jeb the hinky spider
Pays nobody mind.
He stumbles on his way
Just as if he’s blind.

The hinky stinky spider
Spins webs around DC
Pulling in Republicans
To his philosophy.
They do not notice
His mind is awful dim.
That is because they
Are half as bright as him.

The hinky stinky spider
Spins old and faulty tales.
Knows half the voters
Will fall for all his wails.
Hoping he is lucky
Like his brother Dub
And gets himself elected
Resulting from a flub.

The hinky stinky spider
Looks just like a man
Looks very much like
A normal also-ran.
Hopes he can win with
What he thinks is fame
Based on ignoring
The blight upon his name.
(Yes, it’s another one of my Worsery Rhymes!)
Jolene D'Souza Nov 2014
Once there was an old woman
who had tremendous bad farts,
And this is where our story begins
this is where it all starts.

Her farts were just awful
they'd stink up and ****
They'd make babies cry louder
and make all the roses wilt

When she walked into town
her farts wouldn't stop
A green stink cloud would follow
wherever she'd walk

"Whats that AWFUL smell?!"
people would exclaim
Then they'd all point to the old lady
who always suffered the blame

Due to these consequences
the old lady was lonely
How much she longed for love,
and just a place that felt homely.

They say there's someone special
for each and every soul
Even for stinky old ladies
and that's why this story is told

When fate intervenes
no one can really say
Whats meant for you or me
or what makes old lady's day.

For one day old Miss Stinky
was walking through a store
She met a perfect gentleman
who held open her door

He didn't run away
like all the other people
He came up to Old Miss Stinky
and oh how she got so feeble!

He fell in love
with all of old Miss Stinky
To her **** bombs and green clouds
he said "Oh wow, That's real *****!"

You can never know
when your special someone comes by
For If stinky old ladies find happy endings
why shouldn't I?

Now she's not alone
just happily farting each day
They had a huge hazmat-mask wedding
and he swept happy old Miss Stinky away
Aa Harvey Sep 2018
Flatulence breeds laughter


Come smile with me, as I sing you a song;
About God's little gift, to every man.
For we all like to laugh and forget all our worries
And we all like to laugh, whenever we can.


At a worldwide problem which just can't be solved;
Of epidemic proportions, it affects us all.
It's the funniest thing known, but embarrassing too;
But the louder the funnier, as long as it's not you.


It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****.
It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart.


It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****.
It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, lahh!


Who dropped that off?  Who left us a present?
Who smells that bad?  Come on! Who the Hell is it?
******* that's bad, something smells like it's died.
You filled my lungs with a sickness, you brought a tear to my eye;
You made me wish I was a dog and I had no nose,
Then when you'd tell them of my story,
They'd say how does he smell?
(shout) AWFUL!


It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****,
It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart.
It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****,
It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, lahh!


Well it's time to end this song,
With no more bad **** jokes in sight.
It's time to wander on,
With just a trumpety, trump; goodnight.


(C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Hilly  Jun 2014
Old Stinky
Hilly Jun 2014
**** you, Old Stinky
Why are you so slow and old?
I hate you so hard.
Salty rancher spackle is to Earthy diva smackers as Swinging hotel number is to?
Rippling cling bread is to Three lizard chariots as Indigo lime tangent is to?
Nighttime reunion planet is to Nettle lane scuffle as Soaking spider *** is to?
Fancy trance logs are to Sticky fudge lather as Vivacious gator college is to?
Cheerful blossom face is to Secret tractor rocket as Canned gremlin emblems are to?
Jealous pitchfork generals are to Heartbreaking patchwork veranda as Folding robot noise is to?
Pretty rhino rash is to Lost locket vengeance as Back pocket weather is to?
Frosted candy sidewalk is to Sneaky kook code as Shiny waffle smoke is to?
Sapphire cloud romance is to Magnetic comet lava as Blue triangle envy is to?
Vanishing honey melody is to Thermal elf pajamas as Whistling iceboat shampoo is to?
Peach mint politics is to Frozen doll pennies as Rusty anchor catapult is to?
Swollen pony fever Throbbing sword kazoo as Silent turbine science is to?
Obese germ thunder is to Stacked lemon towers as Corrupt moon jockey is to?
Demented insect whistle is to Glass trophy cleanup as Purple geode bubble is to?
Nighttime razor slime is to Lacquered dragon maps as Tint paper mittens are to?
**** camel drops are to Velvet ****** shoes as Slippery red muffins are to?
Flying hot drool is to Pale chocolate telescope as Tin trumpet ballet is to?
Expensive puppy speed is to Flowered duck mirror as Cosmic needle factory is to?
Fractured laser doodles are to Cracked butter gravel as Rubber holster straps are to?
Majestic panther fortress is to Jeweled cork target as Iron swan taxi is to?
Poisonous pepper bouillon is to ****** goat soap as Chrome feather pirates are to?
Digital gorilla scriptures are to Timid hunter stench as Frozen domino video is to?
Eccentric troll opera is to Transparent wax village as Spoiled coral agony is to?
Bizarre green metal is to Pillow eating hamster as Leather cavern ***** are to?
Eternal hurricane evidence is to Powdered rainbow perfume as Smoking yellow prune is to?
Liquid wish cleanser is to Exploding meadow ladders as Brittle rose hammer is to?
Caged foam filter is to Cherry balloon string as Ivory cactus spider is to?
Carbon puppet watch is to Sad kings compass as Elastic lace whiskers are to?
Nitrogen trolley dust is to Lazy elephant toffee as Orange toad choir is to?
Dark pole zodiac is to Blue finger blanket as Illegal bug nozzle is to?
Stinky towel cookies are to White jade caskets as Sticky snail tea is to?
Converting stellated caramels is to Mythic aerosol socks as Rubber raspberry jokes are to?
Flying clock carousel is to Whisky nut worms as Plastic fish platforms are to?
Queasy Vaseline queens are to Moody pigeon pills as Aqua mice fur is to?
Spotted bowl shadow is to Idiotic radiance lotion as Bungalow toad hearse is to?
Gushing chimney fungus is to Funky lamb acrobat as Utopian **** sprinkler is to?
Twinkling bungalow tablet is to Botanical duck rope as Bug hat ram is to?
Broken clock fossil is to Black ginger confetti as Parisian cobra meatloaf is to?
Silly Xerox ribbon is to Obedient raccoon carny as Traditional cat linguini is to?
Last astral advisor is to Elastic badger riddles as Broken circle rifles are to?
Bagged squire channel is to Temporary mosaic cake as Ancient bacon thread is to?
Wireless math army is to Moronic neon money as Pearl razor radar is to?
Rubber buzzard blizzard is to Troubled bubble wizard as Crushed hash ******* is to?
Purple birdy cure is to Tangled frost blossoms as Silken bridal saddle is to?
Unisex owl accordion is to Sugar bottomed boat as Optical nougat treasure is to?
Flavored saline rain is to Black arrow clan as Transistorized clam guitar is to?
Sharpened twig scar is to Mutant beet sonar as Baked troll mask is to?
Boxed noodle secrets are to Traditional guru buttons as Glossy marshmallow strategy is to?
Vibrating melted jelly is to Silver furniture dream as Spewing collated seats is to?
Burnt mountain pickles are to Baby preacher shoes as Sympathetic pilot pain is to?
Narrow portal treaty is to Monkey warehouse vacancy as Painted tornado trap is to?
Porch penny sulfur is to Glowing pony fat as Patched mattress bait is to?
Frigid waitress fallacy is to Graphic shrimp salute as Misted sneezing window is to?
Moist apple moss is to Daddy’s zoom seed as Downtown Pope cart is to?
Tired felon trickle is to Holographic squirrel candle as Wild ray hay is to?
Deadly zero chalk is to Folding wilderness chart as Curved ******* vacuum is to?
Hollow porcelain pellets are to Strawberry rain stencils as Microwave taxi nomads are to?
Wasted machete balcony is to Crumpled creature confessions as Fridge fuzzed fruit is to?
Sloppy demon damage is to Squeaky puppet chuckle as Mental arcade combat is to?
Monster trout stories are to Lewd pirate cocktail as Locked mammal grommet is to?
Rotting rope network is to Tragic toy goat as Cotton submarine shoes are to?
Complex pepper dance is to ****** cloud cushion as Marching taxi holiday is to?
Mental petal collectors are to Spooned barn putty as Dork factory fiction is to?
Hot spotted tops are to Timed stepping pests as Yogurt notching tartar is to?
Crazy dog comics are to Ambitious cartoon sphinx as Pavlov’s zinc ballet is to?
Soiled spinster wedding is to Padded razor wound as Floating fish map is to?
Slippery leopard pants are to Perfumed nut button as Dart wizard party is to?
Needy alien elephants are to Barking garden gnats as Quasar focused paper is to?
Slanted heart **** is to Bronzed cliff sandals are to Cunning jockey jokes are to?
***** thumbprint massage is to Holistic princess memory as Sliding dental sword is to?
Drifting wood whistle is to Fluorescent carpet powder as Foam dragon whistle is to?
Chopped web shadow is to Immortal vermin soup as Collapsing porch conspiracy is to?
Stolen thunder chant is to Haunted comet heart as Swollen throat portrait is to?
Fragrant frost parfait is to Grumpy caveman *** as Random stingray solo is to?
Squeaky polar turbine is to Silent lava fever as Oversized lunar fulcrum is to?
Synthetic dew droppers are to Pocket poster paste as Hypnotic screen dog is to?
Symbolic whirlpool nausea is to Dreaming tree phantom as Log badge bracket is to?
Camp hippo map is to Horseradish seizure insurance as Distant insect mirror is to?
German lady sherbet is to Stuntman laundry wax as Hungry butterfly ghost is to?
Fly smudged foil is to Amped maze coil as Shifting optic terror is to?
Automatic sheep floss is to Panoramic tanker anchor as Throbbing bone pillow is to?
Mutant clown village is to Nightmare translation treasure as Spotted spectral chakra is to?
Blind roach tweat is to Hermit worm tiara as Divine logo ritual is to?
Glueless gun stamp is to Malicious spam pump as Floral toffee pods are to?
Dudgeon mist removal is to Menacing bolt smacker as Boating duke shadow is to?
Costly metal plungers are to Creaky buzzing gushers as Glowing star cushions are to?
Raked barge sludge is to Crusted cream glitter as Zircon gutter babble is to?
Fake gold scholar is to Amish ******* mogul as Faithful ***** choir is to?
Sacred limo prayers are to Fried mice café as Splintered ****** thimble is to?
Dealing rabbit decals is to Pelican bongo festival as Patched equator rot is to?
Freedom gourd gasoline is to Cobblers studying acorns as Desecrated dice crater is to?
Tattered tapestry rod is to Busted particle scanner as Bogus piffle catalogue is to?
Trifle truffle raffle is to Last lamb laminate as Segmented cake goggles are to?
Domestic tackle tactic is to Ticking tic talk as Cordial corps coordinates is to?
Tucked duck caftan is to Sunken ramp ruckus as Wretched ranch rhetoric is to?
Clearly incomprehensible directions are to Useful archaic nonsense as Antiquated skeletal outline is to?
Bewildered beasts feasting are to Lazy busybodies resting as Vaccinating brave volunteers are to?
Lucky wagon dragons are to Famous gargoyle gargle as Formal postman funding is to?
Furrowed shroud chowder is to Borrowed tartan pajamas as Martini mixed algebra is to?
Cowgirl balloon helium is to Chewy glucose habitat as Stationary monument movement is to?
Diamond powered powder is to Diagonal diameter diagram as Purposely condensed expansion is to?
Organic iodine capsule is to Gleaming beach probe as Dominant dome static is to?
Shaving wrinkled targets is to Petting sensible monsters as Selling invisible whiskey is to?
Frozen piano architecture is to Note dotted clouds as Screaming Korean worms are to?
Sonic plant website is to Telepathic climbing clam as Bored protein exercise is to?
Gourmet mollusk cone is to Numb poodle caravan as Asian raven radar is to?
Larry B Apr 2010
There's nothing funny about flatuence
My wife has it all the time
Course she always blames it on me
And I'll always say, yes dear, it's mine

The worst time, is on those cold nights
With the covers pulled over my head
The sweet aroma of, "What in the world was that?"
It drives me right out of my bed

Now I'm not saying that it's stinky
Okay, yes I am
I even got her beano for Christmas
Well, cause, I'm just that kind of man

Now see, everytime that it happens
Her and my dog, point at each other
Then the dog puts a pillow over his face
Til I think he will surely smother

(Whispers) Wait just a minute, my wife walked in
I can't let her see what I'm writing
Cause if she knows that I told you
Then the rest of the night we'll be fighting

Okay, she's gone, anyway she's stinky
Flatuence, has got to be a sin
For there's always something evil
That seeping out of her rear end

Now, I have literally tried everything
And I don't know what else to do
I love her, so I guess I'll accept it
While holding my nose and saying "Shoo"
Mike West Oct 2013
Pooey, pooey, poo. Gee, I smell you. It's time to take a bath now.
Stinky, stinky, doo, you friends do to. You reek and oh you stink, wow!
So could you hurry to the shower and rub some soap all over you ***. Don't hold back!
And if you do remove the peu you'll find your friends won't gag and hack. That's a fact!
So pooey, pooey, poo. What will you do? There's a bathtub fillin'.
Stinky, stinky, doo. It's up to you. To wash off that penicillin.
R  Mar 2013
Stinky Feet
R Mar 2013
"It gets better"
Constant mutterings of the same old saying
"I offer my condolences"
These unsympathetic sympathies are driving me insane

What's that you say? You've walked in my shoes?
You've shared the same experiences as I?
You know exactly what I'm going through?
Ha. That's a lie.

Are you at a standstill in your life right now,
with nowhere to turn, nowhere to go?
Have you lost all faith in humanity?
Are you inwardly dying, do you know?

No.
See, you really don't know what it's like to be me
You couldn't possibly have walked in my shoes
if I'm wearing them on my own two feet

And let me tell you something.
My feet...
Stink.

Don't ask me why,
because frankly I don't know
But I was dealt some ****** shoes
a long, long time ago

They felt too tight,
it wasn't right
Although, what's the use
if the shoes are loose?

Running fast, fast, fast
as fast as I could
Without getting anywhere
it's a pain in the ***

And the scent of these shoes...
God, it was terrible.
Nothing could hide the stench of loneliness and *****
A fragrance so unbearable

But anyway, enough about my stinky feet
It was really just a bad analogy
Though I hope you weren't just about to eat
If so, I give you my deepest apology
Let's change the subject, shall we?

I am a victim.

I may not have been abused,
but take a look at the scars on my wrists
I may not have been bullied,
but then again, we ourselves are our own worst critics

Just because I have not been battered or bruised
by another human being
Just because I have not been shattered to pieces
by someone other than myself...
That does not make me any less broken.

I am a victim of my own thoughts.
I am a victim of depression.
I am a victim of self-harm.
I AM A VICTIM OF LIFE ITSELF.

"It gets better"
Oh come on!
This is no video game
This is no movie
This is real, this is life!
And trust me, it sure ain't 'groovy'

There are no Prince Charmings
No happily ever afters
This reality is quite alarming
It's not a time for laughter

These heartaches don't just go away
The misery and hurt is here to stay
I'm sick and tired of spending nights crying
and all these constant thoughts of dying

You say that everything will be okay
yet I can't look past the pain of today
Tomorrow never seems to shine a brighter light
so why even bother to continue the fight?

It won't get better.*

See, those are the words I should have said
And I know very well that honesty is the best policy
but hey, do you really think that I'm the only one being dishonest here?

Then again, I don't know you and you don't know me
And maybe you have the courage to tell the truth
but if someone were to tell me that "it gets better"
I'd put on my best poker face and say
"Thank you."
One in a million Jul 2014
Standing there in my dreams with your ugly scars
But there is no way you can feel it how you abuse all of it
With your yellow hair touching my ear
You only show up when i'm cold
Only when i don't have bold
Stinky clown! Why are you stuck on my head ?
I see you everywhere i see you nowhere
You can touch me  but i can't do the same
Your face painted with flour
Your ugly face that glare
Stinky clown! Why are you stuck on my head ?
I know who killed me in front of me
My eyes are deceiving me
Darkness and evil is thick in your face
I tried to end up this chase
I tried to **** you but i killed me
I'm screaming but no one can hear
Stinky clown! Why are you stuck on my head ?
Why are you living in my dreams ?
I'm getting worse and you don't know
I want to stop this pain i'm on a war
Either i'm gonna' win or i'm gonna die
I'm sick of searching light deep in dark roads
Stinky clown! Why are you stuck on my head ?
Lost myself again i really feel unsafe
I know that feeling, it tried to steal once my life
I cant believe i'm standing here at all
I can't believe i'm still holding on
My world is dark and filled with demons
It's the end i'm going home alone
I'm stopping all this pain
All this struggles with Schizophrenia.
I see it there Heaven yes i'm watching it
I'm ready to rise again i'm ready to get released
War ended and i lost, the clown wins
It means i'm gonna die so,
I'm closing my eyes forever.
Mike West Aug 2012
The boy haden't bathed in over a month
His **** crack was itching and burning
His underpants were soaked in slimy, wet muck
And his toes a thick jam were churning
His armpits stank worse than a fat pigs raw ***
His breath smelled like rancid fish
His hair was so oily, matted to his head
His own mother wouldn't give him a kiss
"Enough!" he cried as a passing fly died
When he raised his arm to exclaim.
"I must bathe right away! I am long overdue!"
"I sure hope the washcloths are brave."
"To the bathroom man!" He shouted as he ran
And his underpants sloppily squished
"I will remove this filth and brush my green teeth"
"And my mother I will kiss!"
"The closet's ahead!" He said as he sped.
And he stopped there to get some stuff.
Some soap, some shampoo and a towel or two.
But he knew that it wasn't enough.
Look though he might, to his horror and fright,
Not a single washcloth could he find.
Then panic set in 'cause the stink of his skin
Was driving him out of his mind.
He looked yet again but to his chagrin
The washcloth shelf was bare.
The washcloths had run off
For they would not wash
So filthy a boy on a dare
"Oh what will I do!" "Boo-hoo, boo-hoo!"
The boy cried as flies swarmed his head.
"I'd **** myself but I already smell"
"Far worse than anything dead!"
Then one washcloth came back
Holding it's nose and a sack
Of bath salts that smelled like dill.
It said to the boy "Go pickle yourself!"
"And give me a nausea pill!"
So the boy rejoiced and filled the tub
With water, hot as he could stand.
And using the bath salts, he jumped right in
And the pickling began.
He lathered the washcloth with water and soap
And scrubbed with all of his might.
Away he washed all of the filth
'Til none was left in sight.
He washed his hair and brushed his teeth
And dried and dressed himself well.
And the washcloth exclaimed as it hung on the tub
"Holy crap! that was pure hell!"
So the boy now clean ran to be seen
By his mother he loved so much.
And she gave him a kiss and said "This is pure bliss!"
"I can kiss you and keep down my lunch!"
The moral I'll tell you and true I will be
So no one will say that I lied.
Don't wait a whole month to take a bath
Or you washcloths may run and hide.
JDK  May 2015
Stinky Dragons
JDK May 2015
Cigarette smokers are like dinosaurs -
a thing of the past.
Maybe more like dragons,
with all that smokey breath.
I'm not saying it's cool though,
it's really rather grotesque.
All these stinky dragons chasing their own death.

I'm one of them too,
but I try to hide it from you.
I'm a self-loathing smoker,
like a self-hating Jew.
But I'm hooked on these things.
What's there to do?
Been thinking about quitting again.
Those commercials are starting to get to me.

— The End —