Use to love your smile
The songs you sang

Calling it what it was
Calling it lost love
We never found it again

Everywhere I go
I seem numb
To the head

I can't feel the cold air
And I wonder if the stars are real

The cut on my finger didn't hurt
I saw no blood

I don't want the stress
I can't see no end

Dripping tears
Filled with fear

You said
I said

I want to make it

Could we stop faking this

I was staring off into the sunset

Whispering into the clouds

I walked around
Until darkness fell

I found my friends
The brightest constellations

The soft grass
Against my back

A soft melody track

I'm alone

So alone

Just with myself

                                                  I will find you
                                                    In pink skies
                                                       Bitter Lies

I almost forgot the
Dangerous weather
Thunder crashing
Against the window

                     Would you believe me if I said I've changed?

Maybe I'm not so empty

I got a clogged up nose
Piano music playing all night long

I wonder how it feels to be a poet
A happy poet
One who isn't so broken

I don't consider myself a writer
I'm just a broken screen
With scattering cracks
That don't look nice

I wonder how a poet breathes
words into a journal page

I wonder how a poet lives

I'll never be one
Because of bitter mistakes

Breathing out my mouth
Can't make a sound
I don't want to be found
stays in a shell

I'm just an emotional
Ghost that people can see

Who finds it hard to believe
That happiness is among
Us and is an actual feeling

country music two minutes away
are you going to tell me

the cities I would draw
you sat behind me this whole time
tap my shoulder
it was fine

no one accepts
what scares them
anything they aren't understanding

I was that with you

you never told me
yet I got the message

are you ever going to tell me

sit there silent

I already know what's happening

i waassssss
typinggg
beforeee
youuu hit mee

i stareee intoo
spacee moree oftenn

alll thesee redd linees

caan't findd thhe righht tiime tto cryy

ii knoow imm richh
whats iit maatter
in thhis tiime

ii havee tto grrow uup

nnot ggoing tto happpen
withh a bllindfold

nott goinng ttoo happeen

she says we got time

that was last month

staring at the clock tick

it's making me go crazy

she don't know nothing

i know we got a whole life

but that's not enough

what if we die young
and never even feel love

sometimes everything isn't enough
satisfied with somewhat
i try to believe

my coffin waiting six feet under
the sand is running down

it's all about the time and day

if something's going to change

I put my pain inside a bottle
Drink it up
another swallow

I'm night
You're day

Stuck sharing the same day

Wishful sleep

Sleep away the sleepiness
sleep away the heartache

I felt that this love could be permanent

Waste of space
Worthless bones

A little to curious of the afterlife

I wouldn't want to come back

There's no more passion
No more loyalty
No more sincerity

Each day the air is polluted
One day the sky will be black
No stars at night to shine

No more compassion
No more laughing
So serious

All hating
All fighting

Digging for the next
Big thing

No more trust
Everyone for themselves

Stay in your home

Where did all our "good" friends go

Where did the real love go

The peace of our daily life
Filled with
Thoughts and concern
Of these days

Quiet phones
No more calls
Or messages

Can we sleep
With so many countries at rage

All this pointless drama
Over things that don't matter

When will we all get together

To accept the new world
The new generation


So much confusion
To write down

We don't want to

We shouldn't have to

she's fifteen
maybe sixteen

thinks she's on top of the world
and boys

sometimes we lose things
things that keep us in touch
and together

just like how i lost the ability
to write on paper

all because of fear

mother said no
no

there's questions
unanswered

quiet she stayed

i'm still waiting for
what she'll say

i'm waiting
she's quiet

i like a girl
she isn't answering

don't know if she hates my name
if she enters my room in vain
did she brainwash her kids

do you read my journal every day
saying I'm the devil's child

did she think I cut off my tongue
each time I would see her face

I'm wondering

dreaming

does she have me as her voodoo doll

do you ask if I'm okay
does she wish i were dead

things won't ever be normal again

between us huh

if i whisper
i'm gonna be okay

the devil
burns it away

he's living
in the corner of head

i probably
invited him in

i most likely have no soul

wonder what will
happen in the future

if i'm gone
will he move on to someone else

i never make you laugh
and when i got
the chance to hear you
chuckle

i did
so many times

i never get much of
any opportunity

it's not so easy

to hear the sound
of you laughing

when was the last
time you cried
laughing

i've came to conclusion

to stop looking for ways
to hear it

it's better to do it naturally

I got a palace in me
A palace of memories
In the center of my heart
Telling me I'm their queen
They're bowing down
Telling me i should go back
I don't know how
And they talk about sacrifice

I'm getting confused
All my administrators
Tell me I'm fine

I should hurry up
Before it's too late
The memories can sometimes
Fade away
Moving on

I wanted to carry on

╬═♥╬
╬♥═╬
╬═♥╬
╬♥═╬
╬═♥╬
╬♥═╬

I was climbing into
My heart

But it was freezing
Filled with dust

Ever since i came back
I don't like you anymore

My right ear keeps getting worse
I can't hear anything good

You seem have run out of warm
Feelings

You seem to be acting
Like me

Can't mix our types
It doesn't feel right

So hard to talk to
You

My ear can't stop
And i hope to
Hear the silence soon

I want things how they use to be

Hearing things
Perfectly

life seems too big
I can't understand it

every house has
different stories
and each person
is something

I can't comprehend
much anymore

how life works

I feel so small

i remember i had
friends

i lost them all

i remember people
had trust

now it's all
about being
to themselves

i've had so many lucky
days

now things go down
down

my hands are a blur

I know I can barely feel

throwing things at the wall
water the most

I hope I find you
the one they say
I'll be open to
some day

I wish I
wasn't so
narcissistic

and an ego
in the clouds

no God can help me now

I feel like i could draw you everyday


And it's sad to walk around
With your face as the
Reflection in my eyes




What do you have on me

What did i do

How did i fall

Even when i knew

You wouldn't



Pretty golden boy

Whomever your with
They better love you more than me
And make you happy


If not what a shame

our heads are clouded
saddened to hear you put it all in medication

keep my head up
to keep my ear shut

no one notices the bruise
on my arm
or cold stares
i love

we can barely breathe in public
barely eat surrounded

seeing shadows under the door
can't even hear right anymore

we just all change

wish we didn't in bad ways

I know they like it
When i write with
Feelings

But I'm running out of
It

How to be a poet
Without emotions

Doesn't cut it

I know I'll be
Someone big
If i let everyone know

Closed up no

I see they like it When i
Write down something
Close to my heart

It'll be long enough

It'll be soon enough

Empty squares
Silent notes

Quiet heart beat

Useless meanings

Me and my brother
Preparing for this big storm

This friday
To saturday

I can't wait to hear the
Event

These clear skies
Don't last

I just want these times
To pass

I love it when the storm
Arrives and hits

Yet i also love the ending
Clouds flying away
Water drops falling from all the trees

I cannot wait

For the day

When I'm finally left alone

Scars to heal

Breathing much well

No more sleeping pills
Or advil

It's a new day
Doesn't change who i am

Or all the songs I've been listening
To

Everyone has woken up
And they still look the same

We prepare for a change
Instead of taking action

Hoping tomorrow never happens

we like dancing on heavy clouds
you use to play me the guitar
catching blue stars
the ones that burned for our souls
you came from another universe
another galaxy
I couldn't believe
you were with me
I wasn't enough
till this day
can you hear me play
can you hear me cry
something inside me weeps
turned blind
couldn't speak
there's a dead tree
only on the top
can you see green leaves

Well I'm not sorry
That everyone's asleep
And have a life for tomorrow
Planned out

Is it strange
I like to cry out
Fake tears

Hm
Strange indeed
I'm gonna keep crying

But don't mind me
It's not real

Yeah yeah
Sometimes i hear voices at night
Got to look around
Check right

Everyone's asleep
Have i gone crazy
Got to check under the bed

Maybe
Someone's out to get me

I could also be dreaming

I don't like getting calls on my phone
No more

I find hard to listen to the voice
On the line

With my head
On edge of explosion

I want to touch a tree's
Leaf

I missed the beach
But when i got here
There was nothing
For me

I'm always on the road
No one stays

But the sky
Above my head

the moon doesn't shine for me
she doesn't love me

the sun scares my fears away
oh but my insecurities are here to stay

All they tell me is
I deserve everything

I have nothing
I have no one

He's never given me a piece of love
He's never given away his heart

Now that you've left me behind
I can have an excuse to write

You stabbed me in the back
My old friend
I thought we meant eachother something big

Your so naive
I wish you knew
That times will pass by
And were going to want to
Rewind time

I won't call you
Your family is so betrayal
And you know I'm there

I thought
I thought
Something else

That maybe we wouldn't lose touch

I won't be the first to talk

Hope we don't see eachother for some time

No money
Now your always crying
Saying you can help me
You cannot

I guess you wasted all of it
Being a saint
People don't remember your name
After weeks
Disappearing in the city

The green turns brown
Not in our town

You got me spilling over
All my feelings
On the floor
the early morning
Hearing noises
From our empty heads
I can feel it from the
Back of my neck

Things only get worse
Before
Something very bad
Then happens

So now
Were both crying

You showed me
True love
Pure blood
Oh I gave you a hug
But now
Were apart

The full moon is coming through
The window
I'll never learn to love you

Songs got me thinking of the summer
If only i could remember

Escaping reality
this is not my real life

My blue life
dark blue

Feel the energy draining from my body

I'm not in my mind

This isn't real life

I forgot the key
to my head

Somewhere in this blue life

I see green

So close to waking up

I'll fall asleep

The old days
where I hated everyone
now all I hate is myself

The old days
where I wanted to jump out the window

Is
now me closing them to keep myself inside

My mind is over flowing
with secrets and lies

years ago
I felt this heavy feeling

Is it back

I don't hate anyone
I don't love myself enough

I find reasons to stay
hold onto them
with a grip so tight
I'm left with bruises

It's still better
than not waking up
to another morning

Thank you
I've been here forever
still doesn't feel real

How should I fall asleep

with so many memories on replay

it's about us right now
you are with me

you're leaving
I'm with you

by heart

I'm wasting time
looking for things
so many distractions

I'm with you
it's all about us

how will I fall asleep
you're running in my head

How much I wish it was
Happiness that inspires
Me

I think I'm over you
Don't think about you as often as I used to

I've moved on
a rainbow appear
I know I will be fine

I hope you love me just a little
And think of me in the afternoon's

I'm not scared of your darker side
please come out

I love the mysterious

My shadow runs into the smoke

Does it matter now

How much pain I went through

All the nights I cried

so far away

It doesn't matter

so why bother
give me sympathy
it's too late now

Maybe if we go back to the days
when I slept with pain
if only you could tell that girl
Your worries

Not me now

I'm your sunshine

You don't realize
I'm standing in the dark

Hiding my real face

Feels so long
Since I've felt depressed

It doesn't matter anymore

I sleep it off

eat my words
let them tear you apart

sleep with my words
haunting you into a nightmare

I will wake you up

nothing but me
there's no one but me

I missed you so much
I kept you away

you saw the ugly and lost
I wasn't half full

those days
I forgot the moon existed
the stars were taken

pushing you away
I want you to see a better me

I hate the way you love me
even after I treat you like a nobody

listen to the music my ears heard
touch the pillows I laid my head
use the lipsticks my lips touched
wear the necklaces that hung around my neck
drink a glass of cold milk in the rain
listen to the sad playlist I made for when I'm sad
wrap yourself around the blanket I felt safe tangled in
wear the earrings that went through my ears
take my clothes and wash them
or keep the smell I'd wear them with
walk in my shoes
maybe then you'll know
wash your hair with my shampoo
write with the pens my hands held
read all of my poems
even the unfinished ones
listen to all of the recordings
don't take it too seriously

listen
look
feel
taste
all of the things I've lived with

keep them by your side

when I leave
I'll leave small pieces of me behind
find them

keep them
until I come back

in a dream
in a cloud
in a star
in the rain
in the sun
in the wind

find ways to remember me