didn't realize those sounds we're coming out of my mouth
I found a tissue stained with blood
I don't remember bleeding
you asked me an innocent question
why am I playing out a fantasy
I don't know how to make myself disappear
filled with so much fear
you won't miss me
you will forget me
cover my eyes
you're an angel dear
don't pretend to be anything different
I can see your wings
unknown blood
looking deep into the words you said
I'm so confused
I'll be thinking about you on the drive back home
I'll be thinking of you
when I see the deep waters
I'll be thinking of you
you you
you won't know

I want to talk to you
while you're at work
I want to talk to you
when no one is around
and we're all alone
so I can have you to myself
I'm sorry I don't like sharing
when someone steals your attention
I fade away

I don't want to ask a serious question
I'm scared of the answer
we can just laugh it off
I'll sit back and
overthink about it
thinking about it
over and over

letting you have your space
I don't want to feel like a cage
what if you run away
I don't think I'll find you again

silly and cliché
I don't want to be your friend
I want to kiss your neck

I opened the windows
my feelings running free
you will never see

we only talk in the open
this is how it starts
two months pass
I'll make you mine

you'll be mine
just give it time

I'm patient
can't wait for October

taking it slow
I hope to see you soon

I'll let you in
no one has to know

here we go again
falling in love

here I go again
is it safe

you were right
I did find someone else
and I'm so happy it's not you

thought you were cool
I was wrong
now you make me sick

stop chasing me
I'm not someone you can keep

stop talking about me
I'll mess you up
you don't know anything

call me when you grow up

I let you
have your fun

it's entertaining
until I get bored

I can bite your lips
but I'm looking for blood

I hate being lonely
I'm stuck with someone like you

there's no good
in loving you

there's no use
in looking back

I think I'm over
I'm pass that

you were my favorite spiral
so lost

I remember checking the time
making sure you were awake

the pain of missing you
of loving you

lots of eyerolls
from my friends

now you're an embarrassing
memory

you were right
I'll find someone else

I can find another replica of you
if I tried

you're not so special now

intrusive thoughts of you
you're no good

isn't it beautiful
to look forward to see someone

isn't beautiful
to imagine a day
that we can be together

will
you take my hand

I will
take your head

tell me
everything

everything
you know

everything

everything
you don't

it's so beautiful

you're so beautiful

there was a brief moment
when I wanted to stab you in the heart
I hope it hurts you

I want you to feel the pain
the same way I did

I'm asking for nothing
don't be so selfish

I feel like we're staring at each other
who's going to look away

my pride is everything
don't say it's the death of me

you showed me the worst kind of love
I will never forgive or forget that

I'd never crawl back to anyone
won't ever chase someone

it was so easy to let you go
I knew it would be the last time I'd speak to you

maybe soon
you'll come back to me

not even satisfaction
will bring our love back

do you wanna sleep with me
side to side
eye to eye
mind to mind
heart to heart
you know
I don't want to talk
you know
no one likes to listen
you know
I can't even
it feels like I'm bleeding
every time I try too
rather keep to myself
then pour my guts to you

I'm fine where I am
right here
right now
I don't feel like I'm losing myself

I never
let anyone
make promises

forever isn't real

with you
silence
is full of
life and nothingness

I made my past mistakes
we ran out of things to say

when I'm with you
I don't regret it

I only
hope I can say all the things
I want to say

I never make promises
I can't keep

ever since I met you
I want to

woke up to a thunderstorm

I don't want to ruin it

you're so precious

falling asleep

get a goodnight sleep

you're beautiful

I know

I love how empty you are

so transparent I can see all of you

a failure

I noticed

I pay attention

the more I know

the better

I sang you a beautiful song

I wasn't listening

now I saw everything you said

I think I was so mislead

could give us a chance

if there's still time

say you want to try

say you're still here

so I can go

you know all the good songs

where are you

say you want it

can I go to you

didn't believe it

now you're gone

come change my mind

change my mind

tell me I'm wrong

twist my broken words
in the dark

fell asleep
where were you

not too long
before I give up too

I can't do this

change my mind

it's heavy
trying so hard

what do you want

tell me this isn't temporary

love

where do you go

I hope to not know you for long

get out of my life

I want you gone

a week ago

things were well

now I know you exist

life is ruined

I hope you don't stay

wishing you away

I don't want you in my life

maybe it's best

I leave before more time passes

I don't want another memory of you in my head

they got the devil
in their eyes

a little to dark
there's no surprise

the less everyone knows
I love being unknown

someone no one ever gets to know

a faceless
body

you can't reach me
no one can find me

I made a pact
it's coming true

he loves me
I know he does
I love him very much too

I know you're talking to her
oh I think I know

how much
you like
little girls

come on
read me a bedtime story

you know you like it too

I can play this game too

trust me
I know how it goes

I'll act innocent

you want an angel
I'll make myself be one

you want a saint
so I'll wash my sins away

I know
how this game works

I think I know
oh

I know you're talking to her

I can see it

you like little girls

I'm not a little girl

come on
read me a bedtime story

you can be-

don't message me at all
I feel so much better
ignore me more
forget me too
love me not
promise
it's better this way
look at me in the eyes
I'll show you the worst of me
you're going to realize it's for the best

my feelings are hurt again
confused at 3 AM
tell me
did you ever love me more than a friend

I don't know
if I want to miss you
a little bit more

you left so fast
I forgot you were ever in my room

you're the
weeds growing inside my heart

keep trying to tear you apart
from the top and to the root

it was different
everything
with you

sorry
I keep thinking about you

you cursed me
I can't sleep

say its all a misunderstanding
the way you made me feel
so lovely
to so lonely

I can hear my freedom
calling me

I'm not waiting anymore

feel so free
without you

wine tastes so sweet

will only ask once
don't make me ask again

you're on and off
don't tell me what's wrong

you're the weeds growing back

you must be spinning
you're going to regret it

stop looking for something
there's not a flower you can plant inside my heart

can't you cover it up
you only like an idea of me

what story is playing in your head
why won't you come and see me instead

you're the worst for me
you're not even an option

don't ask me again
keep it to yourself

I wish I could sing
to sing you all these songs
I wish I could rain
to make you an ocean
I wish I could shine
to be a star in your sky
I wish I was loving
so I could love you
I wish I wasn't troubled
all I do is cause trouble
I wish I could make you gold
you'd be the richest in the world
I wish I could talk
I wish you could read my mind
I wish you didn't need to go
where do we go
I have no direction
you're a good thing
your flaws are slipping through me
and I can't breathe
why don't you go away
there's nothing good
I don't want to make the same mistake
but I'm going to do it again
I know I know
I can see it
can't you prove me wrong
tell me differently
tell me
tell me
I'm wrong
I'm overthinking
I don't even like you
why are you trying to get inside my head
I secretly wish it was him instead
all these feelings are so familiar
are you another lesson
I can't find enough dandelions
how will we make it through this
please stay away from me
you're trying to take me
and I have nothing to give

ripped the skin off my lips
I thought it was bliss
the way you mistreated me
in so many ways
all different days
couldn't have stayed
another minute with you
making me feel so small and cynical
now all my feelings are amusing
when you fall for someone deranged
love is so confusing
killed my breathing for you
starting to overthink
spiraling down
was I wrong to love you


loved the wrong person
or was it
loving at the wrong time

bleeding lips
unrequited love
love so unknown
for someone like me
I will never know
so hard to reach
it slipped through my fingers so fast

I have more to say
none of it matters anymore
anyways

where do we go
where did everyone disappear to

stuck inside our heads
we forget to look outside

I'm slowly forgetting the way
I used to smile in spring

winter is coming
don't let my heart go cold

I don't want to lose everything
to know

don't leave
don't go

if I was nicer
would you stay

tell me all the ways I hurt you
don't lie

honesty sounds like criticism
they're not sensitive
they just don't want to change

hiding inside a wall
you can hear us all

hate me
love me

I don't care
I'm getting there

alone
with or without you

I'll get there

god save me
i never get better
if you hear me
show me the way
why is it so hard to live
you created the perfect world
why did you ruin it
all these pessimistic feelings
wasted thoughts
lost and delusional
greed and guilt
running through our veins
let me see through your eyes
I want to look at myself entirely
show me the ways you adore us all
could you call my name
will it sound the same
I didn't need to suffer
all so I can learn
a painful lesson
I don't hate the creation
I hate the creator

\ heaven is a dream \

|||

/ hell is our reality /

does anyone know

to feel so insignificant
to feel so tiny
useless
so unknown

are you waiting for me
are you thinking of me

no
no
I know

if I disappear
my name will fade away

I'm tired
of knowing
I mean nothing

loneliness will be the death of me

you say my name
when I'm not around

oversharing, overbearing
don't act like you're so special
you're like everyone else

she's so nice
it's suspicious

I don't want to hear it
you're not my friend

keep my name
out of your mouth

I never thought I'd meet the moon
I can see you in my dreams
you change everyday
somehow you stay the same

I might cry if you ever come back
I might cry if you don't

why did you push me away
all it did
was make me stay

my stomach in knots
you should take the blame

you faded away
slowly
slowly

I can admit

I don't love you anymore
I don't miss you anymore

I just remember you
I remember

now I see
we're so uneven

said you love me

but you didn't

string of lies
the cobwebs are glued to my skin
can't wash you off

I'm still there

don't look back
one more time

there was room for us to grow
I had to jump out the window

don't ever forget my name
carry it with you

I guess you never liked me

did you not want to learn
something you would forget

once I love you
you're my god

I've never
met someone
so perfect
flawless

you're the faith
I'm looking for

you're the light
at the end of the tunnel

you're the answer to my prayers

devoted to
this love

no one can change my mind

I'm yours
I'm yours

save me
please save me

I'll sacrifice
everything

where do you go
where do I go

when I'm all alone
when I'm with you

there's nothing for me here
thought I'd be a better man
I lied
I don't want to change

if I go
you know
where I go

if I know
you don't

if you know
I won't tell

teach me
how to stay

I want to leave
again
and again

no one says my name
I miss you so much

now I'm so sad
now I'm so sad
now I'm so sad
now I'm so sad


I don't want to be alone
I don't want to be alone
I don't want to be alone
I don't want to be alone

leave me alone
leave me alone

cried myself awake
crying, waking up

another dream
another bad dream
strangers
strange places
haunting me

fading away
fading away
fading away
fading away
fading away
fading away
fading away
fading away

I can't look away
I can't look away

what did you do to me
what does it do to me

you couldn't hold my hand
making plans
we will never watch the horror movie

I don't even know who you are
I reached the end

the butterflies
only give me
stomachaches

I keep you locked inside
don't try and crawl out
I hate it when you're loud

walking across my mind
why don't you walk out
following days
too much rain

there was no one
but you

love can turn someone so cruel
I become a big fool

my words are not like yours

can I wake you up?

you tell a sad story
everyone wants a hug

the stars don't cry
I can't catch the shadows in the corner of my eye

will you turn the lights off

is it late enough

I want to ask you everything

saying nothing
feels so safe

I'll die with all my secrets

one day I'll leave it

the most beautiful flowers
grow in
harmful places

I'm comparing them side to side
i can't help it

i feel so unloved
i just want someone

but it's not the right time

he broke my heart
i can't find it

but if
pink and black
are your favorite colors
that's okay

they're mine too

i'm sorry if i think of him
a little bit
when i'm with you

he
crosses my mind
at random times

little things
reminding me
he exists

it's not the best of days
I want to drown again

best we get away from each other

best I go back underwater

so I don't have to hear all the noise

I just want to be alone

I just want money to appear in my bank account

how many more lessons do I have to learn

till I die
of all this hurt

everything is so hard

I can't find the strength to wake up anymore

remember you said i was special
you said there was something special about me
you didn't know
it was something dark
something you can't see
but you know
something you can hold
so heavy you fall through the earth
i miss the days
you thought i was the sun
i'm just a black hole
i'm everyone's bad luck charm
i can't seem to bring anything good to my life
or anyone else's
all i do is ruin
i attract broken people
because i'm broken

it hasn't rained in so long
I miss you but now you're gone

I never thought I'd need anyone
till I met you

I cry so hard
my body shakes

I haven't felt the rain hit my body
I miss you I miss you

dare I say
I love you

all these hidden feelings
all this wasted thinking

hurts to let you go
hurts that you let me go so easily

wish I could hurt you
I hope you're a tiny bit miserable like me

maybe I wasn't the best for you
that I know

but you were
all I wanted

I want to love you
but now you're gone

everything I want
I'll have without you

scared to say anything
are you going to hurt me

does anything I say matter

I trusted you so easily
my mistake

now I feel you're never coming back

I should let you go
you don't want me anymore

you'll never be mine again

I know
I know
I know

it shouldn't hurt this much
to love you

even if it kills me
slowly

it's worth it

what have you done
you know this is a mistake
but it's too late

we've come this far
too late to go back

I'll always want you
but I can't have you

you're beautifully tainted and flawed

I love you
for reasons I can't say

I wonder how you got inside my heart
I never let you inside

maybe this is love
wish it was stronger
it's weak and falling apart

you're telling me to give up
I wish I could leave you

are we only together and happy
in a fantasy

you're all I want
but that is not enough

I wish I knew what words to say
so you can stay

will anything change your mind

it hurts to know I can't love you

hurts to know
you will leave

you cut me
before I could ever bloom

it'll hurt to forget your name
it'll hurt to erase you from my brain

it hurts that you don't want me
it hurts that you don't want to try

I just want to love you
I just want you

I'm jealous
of whoever will
have your heart

I'm sad
yesterday I was too
because I didn't have you

I'm sad when you're not around
You're sad for reasons unknown

I'll slowly die
waiting for you to come back

come back to me
come back to me
come back to me

just let me know
let let know
before you go

it's scary I know

you say you love me

confusing
because I don't feel an ounce of love from you

if i'll be honest
i'll be honest now

it's very scary
but i want to say it

i don't care if you feel the same anymore
i just want you to know

maybe then
this heavy feeling can go away

i know forever isn't real
but i'll believe/

if it was you

if it was you

I wish I never met you

I can't forget you

i wish i could call you everyday
just to hear your voice

i think i made a mistake
i feel like a fool
for falling

someone i can't have
everything we do leads to nothing

i woke up sad
you were in my dreams again

it's getting worse
you're everywhere i go

a face i don't know
i recognize

as far as you know
i don't care about you anymore

i can't let you know
it hurts me even more

to see us happy
in a place that's not real